As The Leader Grows with Ken Joslin

Coaching with Ken | Joy > Happiness

• Ken Joslin

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What if the keys to ultimate joy, are not in our surroundings, but within ourselves? Today, we unravel this mystery and delve into the difference between happiness and joy. We start by exploring happiness - a fleeting feeling rooted in external circumstances such as our relationships, faith, health, business, and finances. We delve into how happiness is tied to happenstance, which happens by chance, and how despite having a good day, happiness isn't always a guarantee. But we don't stop there. We also share insights on how to navigate through our daily emotions to find true joy.

As we venture deeper, we discover that joy, unlike happiness, is an internal phenomenon. It's not about what's happening around us, but understanding our 'why' - our purpose. And it's in this understanding that we uncover a joy that's consistent, regardless of what life throws at us. We emphasize that this journey to finding our purpose is not a one-day affair, but a process that requires embracing the journey. As we do, we realize that our emotions can sometimes obstruct our intelligence, and that relationships become even more powerful when we understand our 'why'. This episode is a voyage into understanding happiness and joy - a journey we will embark on together.

Welcome to the ATLG podcast I am your host Ken Joslin, former pastor turned coach & host of CREATE, the #1 Faith-based Entrepreneur conference in America. My mission is to help faith-based entrepreneurs become the best version of themselves by growing in our Core 5: Faith, Health, Relationships, Business & Finances. You can get more information as well as join our FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/676347099851525

Speaker 1:

Good morning. Welcome to another episode of As The Leader Grows Podcast. I am your host, ken Jocelyn, super excited to talk to you guys today about something that's really been on my heart in a big time way And normally, as you can tell, whatever I talk about on our coaching with Ken episode is usually something that I'm just processing through or something that's front and center in my own individual life. And today I want to talk about something that I think is super, duper, duper important. I think it'll help give you perspective. I think it will help you kind of overcome and navigate the day to day emotions and the things a lot of times that we feel because we're inundated on social media right now where, or with this idea or this concept of happiness, of being happy. What does it look like to be happy? And I want to, i just want to present a case to you guys this morning and then let you decide what it looks like for you in your life. I want to present a case to you guys today regarding joy versus happiness And I want to break down the word happy and happiness and really kind of, where does that come from? Where does happiness come from? Where does joy come from Like where are those things? What are those things rooted in? Because, again, we're inundated with you know, things on social media, things on the internet about being happy. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy, live a happy life. What do you want? when you ask people and they're polled What are the top three things you want in your life? The one of the top things people always reply with is I just want to be happy. What does that look like? And let's talk about that today. So number one listen happiness. Happiness is. It comes from and I want to break the word down. Happiness comes from is rooted in the word happenstance happenstance, which is external, and happenstance comes from the word that we all know circumstance happen. Happenstance is rooted in circumstances. So, long story short if my circumstances are good, if all of the external things in my life are good my relationship with my significant other, my partner, my spouse, my relationship with my kids, if my finances are going well, if everything's, you know, all my relationships are going well For us let's just put it in our vernacular when we talk about our core five a GSD faith, health, relationship, business and finances If everything's great in my faith, i'm happy. If everything's great in my health, i'm happy.

Speaker 1:

Like I went to the gym this morning. It's funny I posted today I went to F45 at 5 am. I didn't go to bed. I was up late last night. I went to bed about 11 and I was up at 4. So I probably slept. I went to bed 11. I don't know what time I went to sleep. I probably slept about five hours, four and a half five hours last night And I got up. Alarm went off at four and I'm sitting there and I'm like going oh Jesus, i do not want to get out. I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I don't, i don't. If you for those of you guys that listen to this podcast or follow me or part of our GSD community or come to our Create conference, you know that's not me. Like I'm the beat the alarm clock guy, if you need an alarm clock to get out of bed, your goals aren't big enough, like I'm usually just boom, let's go.

Speaker 1:

Last couple of days the days have been extremely busy. Yesterday was a huge day for us. Revenue wise. I mean huge, like 25K, i think, in revenue. Yesterday sold a couple CEO tickets getting ready for Create. I actually probably even more than that. Yesterday was probably close to 100K day for us because we're about to seal a partnership with a company for Create. They're coming in as a platinum partner. It's going to be a 50K to 75, maybe even 100K deal with them. So literally 100K plus day yesterday, about 50K just straight, just straight. Cash came in yesterday for our conference, and so you know, when you have a day like that, man, you're riding how you're like, yes, man, we're winning, we're winning at high levels, this is awesome.

Speaker 1:

Then I got on the phone and I was on the phone too late last night and I my alarm went off at 4 and I'm like, oh shit, i do not want to get out of bed today, but I got out of bed anyway. I got out of bed, i went to f45, went to the 5am class and my picture I posted today on my instagram account at ken jawson for those of you guys who weren't following me just said some days, the win I put win in all capital letters is simply showing up and putting in effort, and I did and I, boy, i was my pre-workout, didn't do anything to me today, like I was, just it's probably, if I'm fair, probably one of my three worst workouts I've had in the last in my three-year health journey. It was terrible, but I did it. I showed up, i got a sweat in, i burned 450 calories. My point total was not very high. It was a strength date anyway. Just I was sore today. I didn't eat good yesterday. There was so many factors. So today, like when I got listen, i was not very happy in my workout. There was no happiness whatsoever in my workout.

Speaker 1:

So happy being happy comes from happenstance, which is reduced in the word circumstance, which means if everything in my life is going good. We just talked about faith, health, relationships, my relationships are great listen, how many? how many of you guys, if you're listening today and your relationship with a? you're married, you've got a significant other, you've got a partner, you've got someone that you love very much. It's sometimes it's hard, it's just it's hard, it's work. It's no different than my health journey losing 80 pounds over the last two and a half three years or building, you know, gsd into a multiple seven figure business. It's work, it's hard, it's not always easy. So, relationships, your business we just talked about business. We just talked about finances. So we're happy when, in all five of those core areas. The circumstances are good, we are winning.

Speaker 1:

Here's what I want to propose to you today. I want to propose to you the difference between being happy and having joy, because happiness is predicated on external circumstances being where we want them to be, where joy is internal. Joy is something that happens in my heart when I'm on this journey of becoming the best version of who God created Ken to be. It doesn't matter what the circumstances look like, because the reality of it is, guys, i turned 55 years old, august the 7th, at Ken Jocelyn, dm me if you want to send me birthday presents, and I'm just playing. I turned 55 and I think the one thing that I've learned and I've been very transparent with you guys, with our GSD community, our people who you know, hundreds and hundreds of people who attend our Create conference I've been very transparent my journey, with my own trauma from you know, growing up over the past year, just the healing process that I've been through.

Speaker 1:

And the one thing that I've learned when it comes to joy is when I'm in those moments even this morning, i was freaking, irritable as shit, like if you'd have come and talked to me this morning at the gym. I didn't say a word. And if any of you guys have ever been I know a lot of you guys have been to F 45s. You've seen me work out. You say I am the poster child for getting up and going to the gym and freaking, crushing it every day at 5am, just dominating the gym. Not today, if you decide. I didn't say a word.

Speaker 1:

I was walking out of the gym and Mike, my trainer at F 45, goes. Bro, you're not going to say goodbye And I'm like, i'm all mealy, i was just not in a good mood. I was definitely not happy And I was just sitting there and I'm processing through And that's what I'm like. I could feel the joy start rising up in my heart And I'm like and did you one? because you showed up? You won because not only did you show up but you gave it effort. And I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1:

There was a couple of times today I wanted to do my back. My lower back was hurting. I just wanted to quit. There were a couple of exercises I had to modify because we were doing like some straight leg deadlifts and some some box jumps and some things that were really causing me some discomfort, my lower back. I'm like I can't do this, man. This hurts too bad And I wanted to quit and I didn't quit towards the very end. We're on the last lap. I think there was like nine stations today at our F 45. We're on the last lap today And I'm like you know what Man, the joy that I find from simply knowing that by showing up, giving it the best effort, and not even know they gave the best effort, i gave it some effort by simply showing up and giving it the effort that I had to be able to give today.

Speaker 1:

You know what I won. This is a win for me today because I did not want to, I did not want to get out of bed. There was two times in my workout where I'm like I'm just going to, i'm going to call today and I'm going to go to the house and be like, no, i'll do my back's hurting. I'm like, no, i'm not going to do that, i'm going to, i'm going to put in work, i'm going to, i'm going to sit right here.

Speaker 1:

Because it's not about listen, guys, it's not about the destination. People that are looking for happiness in their life, they're looking for an external destination. Let me say this to you guys really quick this morning, like there's not a car you buy or a home you get, or a watch, or, for the ladies, a purse or in the South we call that a pocket book. There's not. There's not an item that you can buy that is going to give you lasting fulfillment or joy, may make you happy for a moment, but then again it further proves my point that happiness is wrapped around circumstances. It literally is wrapped around what's going on in your life at that moment. It's about the circumstances. It's not an internal thing, it's an external thing. Happiness is external, joy is internal. Joy comes when you look at the process and you're like it's not about the destination.

Speaker 1:

I heard TDJakes guys 25 years ago, 24 years ago, one of my buddies that I was on staff with come back from a huge pastor's conference out I think it was that actually at Jake's, his church in Dallas, and he gave me the cassette tape It's how old this was The cassette tape and the message was called a place called there And TDJakes was just talking about listen, if you're always living for the place called there, like once I get to this salary, once I get to this size home, once I get to this neighborhood. Once I get a vacation home, once I get another car, once I get a bigger boat, once I get a jet, once I whatever it is once I get fill in the blank, i'm going to be happy. It's just not going to happen. You're going to get there and you're going to realize really quick. This just didn't leave me with the feeling that I thought it was going to leave me with. This just didn't fulfill me the way I thought it was going to fulfill me, because happiness is based on external circumstances.

Speaker 1:

Joy is internal. It comes from becoming the best version of who you are. It comes from listen to this, understanding who you are. So one thing that I love about my faith is I understand who I am. It creates this year and it creates coming up in Dallas in about a month Brenda Brashard, gary Breckow I was on IG live with Gary yesterday 52 minutes. We had like 4,000 people, i think 3,600 and some change hopped on that Instagram live with us yesterday. We've got all these amazing people coming to create And one thing you're going to notice when you come in is we do.

Speaker 1:

These giant floor stickers are like two foot by four foot And they've got my quotes all over the building, you know, but the very first two quotes you're going to see when you come in, the very first quote you see in a couple of different locations is going to be the one that I love. I said it every every week when I pastor, and it's God's love for you isn't predicated on your performance. He loves you because he created you. He loves you because he created you as a son or a daughter.

Speaker 1:

So when you understand that it's not about the, it's not about the destination, like when me and God, when I get here in my relationship with God, or I get here in my financial situation, or I add another comma or another zero to my, to my bank account, or I get another investment property or I get another fill in the, those things aren't going to leave you fulfilled and they're not going to bring you joy. They're going to bring you some momentary happiness. They may bring you a little satisfaction, but the reality of it is is. It's why when you go to the car wash guys, they have a scent called what new car smell. Because I'm telling you something after you make two or three payments on your car, the new car smells gone. You're like, oh, why did I do this?

Speaker 1:

But if you've got passive income and some of the things that we talk about, like my EXP team, my, my, i think my, my rev share it's not a ton yet, but I just started it's like 24, 2500 bucks a month right now pays for, pays for my house, almost pays for my Range Rover, like, if that's passive income, those things, those things, that that brings me joy because I see it growing, i see the journey, i see you know, really, man, this is something, this is. I am becoming the best version of myself. So happiness is external, comes from circumstances. Joy is an internal job. It's an internal job. It comes from understanding who you are And, like I said, god's love for you isn't predicated on your performance.

Speaker 1:

It comes. It comes. That joy comes because you understand he created you as a son or a daughter. I don't have to, i don't have to jump through hoops for God not to be okay. So when we talk about a core five, the first, the first portion of that, the first vertical segment of that, is what is my faith? God loves me because he created me. Boom, that's it foundation. I don't need anything else. Man, that inside of me brings joy. Joy as internal. It comes from understanding your purpose, like why am I here? What is my why? Ken Jocelyn knows what his why is My? why is to help business leaders build confidence, gain clarity and create community. And, man, you know what we do really, really well. You know what we do better than anybody else in the world. We help people build amazing relationships. We help people build a create conference in July I mean, i've went over the list a few times of the different people that we've got coming My buddy, henry Ammar, rudy Rickstain, vic Keller, my best friend, master Jeff.

Speaker 1:

Sean Swarner, the only human being alive, the only human being that's ever been born, that has done the explorer's grand slam The highest peaks on all seven continents, including Everest, skid to the North Pole, south Pole. The only cancer survivor and the only person to ever do it with one lung. What's your excuse, dude? you get around my guy, sean, you don't have any excuses, like in what we're doing in helping people build community. Gary Brekka, brenda Bouchard, randy Garn, my therapist, lauren Zoller. Erwin McManus, one of the top pastors and communicators and storytellers ever. I mean this group of people. Ketino Moe, we 13 year MBA vet, plays into big three right now still hooping like crazy. His story, marie Cosgrove.

Speaker 1:

I mean, like all these relationships, all these people, they understand what their why is And when you come to create conference in Dallas or in Atlanta next January, listen, what you're gonna do is you're gonna walk into I love how my buddy Master Jeff he's my best friend. I love what he says. He goes this isn't community. He goes this is a family and it is a family. So Joy's and Charlotte comes from understanding who you are, what your purpose is, what your why is.

Speaker 1:

Listen, joy comes from you being able to embrace the journey. Joy comes from you being able to embrace the journey Understanding that there's gonna be days when you get up and you don't feel like it. There's gonna be days when you get up and you're like, oh shit, i feel like I just got kicked in the mouth, like I got punched in the mouth. I literally have got my tail kicked, because those days are gonna happen And you can't be happy in those circumstances because the circumstances are going against you. If you're not okay, if you're not fulfilled, if you don't have joy where you are currently, you're in for a rude awakening when you get there. Quote, unquote, and I did the air quotes on my fingers.

Speaker 1:

You know one of the things I've learned over this past three year journey and I'm going to wrap it up with this And really this, i'm just making a case for joy for you guys The one thing that I've learned is like we've had a record. We've had a record month, probably a record day. Yesterday. I mean, i remember back in August of last year, we did our first hundred thousand dollar week And then in January we did our first four almost $500,000 a month, and then yesterday was how we probably put, depending on the deal we signed today, and then the last two days is going to be 100K, probably right at 100 to 125K day, day and a half.

Speaker 1:

I mean it's crazy what's going on, but what I? but through all that, what I've learned is I just I keep the same. I keep the same pace on my emotions because we understand this when emotions are high, intelligence is what Low? When emotions are high, intelligence is low. When you operate from us, from the standpoint of joy, understanding that joy is internal and happiness is external, when you do that, your emotions don't get so out of whack, because when circumstances are great, your emotions are high, you're awesome, your energy is fantastic, but when circumstances are not so great, what happens? Your emotions are low, you don't have any energy, people see it in your countenance And when that happens, your intelligence very low. That's when we start making mistakes. So the case for joy. Happiness external, joy, internal.

Speaker 1:

I want to encourage you today, guys, as you're listening to this podcast, if you don't already know, and even if you know, continue to drill down, continue to do the work. Continue to discover who you are, what your purpose is, what is my why, god? why did you create me? And the last thing embrace the journey. Just look at it every day. It's why. It's why in our planner, grossdrivecomforgeplanner, it's why in the planner, i put a scoreboard on the bottom of every page, every single page.

Speaker 1:

Scale of one to 10,. How did I live today with 10 being the best? I've given myself five or six 10s in two years since we got this planner done. Every one of them have been after one of my masterminds and after a create conference. That's it. I'm usually eight to nine, usually about eight and a half. I'd say 90% of the time. I'm an eight and a half every single day.

Speaker 1:

But embrace the journey. Dig down deep as to what your why is. Why are you here? What's my purpose When you figure those things out? and that's a journey, that's not just a oh ding, ding, ding. I've had this epiphany and I've had this revelation. Now I know what my purpose is. No, it's, it's a journey. You just your purpose gets revealed to you every single day that you get up and go. God today, use me, let me become the best version of myself, let me make an impact, let me touch people's live, let me be a servant leader. When you do that and you embrace the journey, you'll find joy and there's a difference.

Speaker 1:

Guys, listen, thanks for joining us again on another episode of As The Leader Goes podcast. I am your host. Ken Jocelyn, listen, create conference right around the corner. Grostackdrivecom forward slash, create Dallas. Grostackdrivecom forward slash, create Dallas Myself. Gary Brecka, amberley Lago, randy Garn, brenda Bouchard, Erwin McManus, sean Swarner my best friend, master Jeff Vic Keller, sage, workinger of Cattino Mobley, katherine Gordon, rudy Rickstein, sean Crane, kyle Carney, dude, the lineup is insane. Two and a half days faith, health, relationship, business and finances. Grab your ticket today. Love you, thank you.