Have you ever stood at the crossroads of heartbreak and hope, wondering if the past has the power to shape your journey toward love? Ken Jocelyn and his guest, Max Trombly, weave through the labyrinth of relationships, shedding light on Max's transformative path from the ache of divorce to the embrace of a new love. Their conversation is a mosaic of personal revelations and pivotal moments that illustrate the beauty of self-awareness and the courage it takes to set boundaries and seek joy after loss.
Max Trombly's candid reflections paint a vibrant picture of the ways in which childhood experiences cast long shadows over our adult connections. Together, we scrutinize the patterns formed from early traumas and chart the course toward surmounting them through intentionality and vulnerability. Whether discussing the six-week mark of new relationships or the decisive clarity required in the dating world, Max provides listeners with both a mirror and a map—inviting introspection while offering guidance grounded in his own quests for alignment and authenticity.
Ending on a note of resilience and fulfillment, the episode embraces the concept of claiming love not as possession but as an affirmation of desire and commitment. Max's narrative is one of seizing life's offerings with an open heart and the wisdom gained in the healing process. This episode isn't just a story of finding love; it's a clarion call to anyone ready to foster deeper connections, urging them to embark on their own journey toward a love that resonates with who they are, and who they aspire to be.
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it on social media and tag Ken Joslin.
Have you ever stood at the crossroads of heartbreak and hope, wondering if the past has the power to shape your journey toward love? Ken Jocelyn and his guest, Max Trombly, weave through the labyrinth of relationships, shedding light on Max's transformative path from the ache of divorce to the embrace of a new love. Their conversation is a mosaic of personal revelations and pivotal moments that illustrate the beauty of self-awareness and the courage it takes to set boundaries and seek joy after loss.
Max Trombly's candid reflections paint a vibrant picture of the ways in which childhood experiences cast long shadows over our adult connections. Together, we scrutinize the patterns formed from early traumas and chart the course toward surmounting them through intentionality and vulnerability. Whether discussing the six-week mark of new relationships or the decisive clarity required in the dating world, Max provides listeners with both a mirror and a map—inviting introspection while offering guidance grounded in his own quests for alignment and authenticity.
Ending on a note of resilience and fulfillment, the episode embraces the concept of claiming love not as possession but as an affirmation of desire and commitment. Max's narrative is one of seizing life's offerings with an open heart and the wisdom gained in the healing process. This episode isn't just a story of finding love; it's a clarion call to anyone ready to foster deeper connections, urging them to embark on their own journey toward a love that resonates with who they are, and who they aspire to be.
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it on social media and tag Ken Joslin.
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of as the leader grows podcast. I am your host, ken Jocelyn, and I have got a treat for you guys today. I have got my new friend, max Trombly in today. This guy I'm not even sure how we got connected Instagram all of my friends that I follow, you know, across Instagram and the dating world, therapist, those kind of things. Max man, welcome.
Speaker 2:Thanks, man, I'm excited to be here, Ken.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and tell our audience a little bit about who you are and kind of what got you started and what you've got going on right now.
Speaker 2:Well, my name is Max, I am a father, I'm a husband, I've got two young kids and an incredible wife. I live in New Orleans, louisiana. You know I'm 42 and I basically arrived at a moment in my life in my young 30s where I realized that life wasn't all that I thought it was and I was confused about. You know, how do I move forward powerfully? And so throughout my later 30s, I just went hard on learning how to come into a powerful sense of myself as well as what am I here to do, what am I here to create and how can I lead that powerfully forward?
Speaker 2:I also went through a divorce and through that process I was like, okay, how do I date impeccably so I can find deep love and someone that I can really co-create a relationship with? And I'm now married. I've been with my wife, kelly for six years and so since then it's been how do we really create the most impeccable expression of love and relationship while raising two young kids? You know, and so it's this art. You know the art of life, and that's something that I've studied, it's something that I create from and it's something that I teach from, and I coach a lot of my people from that place.
Speaker 1:I would love to back up to what you just talked about. You know you go through a divorce. You're trying to figure this thing called life and relationship out, and you talked about some of the ways you handled yourself and the boundaries and being impeccable in that relationship with your current wife. Building that. What were some of those boundaries? What were some of the things that you said? Here's what this looks like for me. Here's here's what a healthy version of this looks like for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a really great question. Let me actually back up before that moment to give you a sense of how I arrived at it, and then we'll touch on that. So when I went through my divorce, the first thing I did is I realized I need to heal. I need to heal this. Right before my divorce I met a guy who had all this resentment and he was angry. He was angry at his ex-wife who took the farm, took the house, whatever. I forget his story and I was like, man, brutal, how long ago was your divorce? And he was like 20 years and I was like, oh man, I do not want to be a man who is 20 years out still resentful of a moment that happened in my life. So when I got divorced, the first thing I did is how do I heal this? How do I grieve this correctly? How do I really move this energy? And you know you have to actually grieve. It's an actionable thing. You have to move the sadness, you have to feel the sadness, you have to feel the fear like whatever's coming up.
Speaker 2:So I made six months, I made a container of six months to just do nothing. I just I posted up, used my savings account to survive and I just felt the feelings. And then the other thing I did is I really said you know what am I out of alignment in my life with? And I realized I had been missing joy. I had been missing fun play, you know, I just I was in this I'm from Boston originally so I just had this way of being that was just like gritty determination and no fun. And so I just I decided I got to learn how to like have a joyful time of life and celebrate you know the way I live. So that six months was grief and a reclamation of joy.
Speaker 2:And then, when I started dating, I really had clear I was 36 years old, I didn't have kids. I wanted to have kids, and so I was clear that I'm looking for a woman who I trust to be the mother of my children. I'm looking for a woman that has spiritual depth and an awareness that there's more to life than just the human experience. And I'm looking for a woman who is really resilient and capable of working with her emotions the way I do, which is a place of depth and understanding and, ultimately, emotional intelligence, so that we can co-create from a place of resilient yes, rather than always being in the, the mucky resentments that happen when things don't always go right, cause relationships are bumpy and we're always going to get into these mucky kind of moments, but how do we work through them?
Speaker 2:So, getting back to what you asked, I, what I knew I wanted was I wanted to create a beautiful family and I wanted to lead from a place of. I'm here to create love. I'm here to create love for my partner, beautiful intimacy, a depth of connection within intimacy. I'm also here to be a dad, and impeccable father. You know how I show up for my kids, how I teach my kids, how I lead for my kids, and I also just realized I wanted a wife who was just a yes to just creating with me. And so you know some of the foundational tenants of our relationship.
Speaker 2:I just said listen, I want to have a relationship where we clear our emotional stuff as it's happening. I don't want to hold on to any resentments, I don't want to make up stories about you. I really want to have a relationship where, if things aren't feeling good, we figure out how to reconnect and from that place of reconnection we can build trust that our relationship is going to be sustainable, that it's going to function and you know I want my wife to feel loved, supported, adored, protected, provided for. And you know we live in a time where men and women both work, and I get that women can provide for themselves for you know, to some degree.
Speaker 2:But there's also biologically within us, and primarily within us, there's this thing where, like, men do provide and they provide protection and safety and security, and either a man is capable of providing that and I'm not just talking about from the outside world, I'm talking about the inside world too. If a man's not emotionally capable, he's unsafe, therefore not providing safety and security in his house. And so how can I be a man who can provide safety and security from my beingness as well as from the world itself? You know what I mean. How can I steward my family? And so that's what I created my relationship from, and fortunately, I have a wife who was just a hell yes to all that and on board. So, yeah, I mean it's been an awesome experience and my, you know, my relationship is just, it's amazing, it's perfect. Well, it's perfect in the way that it just feels great.
Speaker 1:It's an amazing thing to be able to have a relationship to where you not see it in your countenance. Yeah, I mean in your videos, I mean every video that I mean. I just started following you, probably the last couple months, but you, just you feel it because you know authenticity is the highest frequency we emit as human beings and it's also the most sought after. You're living it and you understand, and you've done the work, and you understand what healthy looks like. Number one when you understand what healthy looks like, you can you identify what unhealth is. Quick. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Back me up, max, to the, because I wrote this down, because this is something that I talk, I talk a lot about on my podcast and just in my personal life over the past year and a half is feel because, man, I don't want to feel like I don't. You know you want to run from that, but I have two therapists Lauren Zahler, who's a she's a somatic therapist and she's big on Instagram, and then my personal therapist here in town, and both of them are like, can just sit with it. Yep, well, I'm an entrepreneur, dude, I'm a high ENFG, I don't want to sit with anything, man, I just want to walk me through that six months for you and feeling that Well, let me just get really, really clear on this idea of feelings and emotions and what they are.
Speaker 2:So, first of all, emotions are energy. It's just energy and it's moving in your body and it's happening for any number of reasons. It could be old beliefs, it could be habitual patterns from childhood, it could be trauma that happened in life. Emotions, it's just energy and if we ignore it or we contract around it or we compact it down because we're busy and I can't deal with that right now it's still in us and it's going to affect everything that happens next. If you have anger in your body and you go to do something, someone you know ticks that anger just a little bit. You're going to explode. It could be your wife, it could be someone at work.
Speaker 2:The thing about emotions is that it's energy in our bodies. It can be created from old wounds or thoughts and if we don't work it and move it through, then it's affecting us. It's just that simple. So I use breath, you know. I mean it's really simple.
Speaker 2:If you're feeling anxious, like if you're listening, if somebody's listening to this, and you feel anxious, if you take a long inhale through the nose, like four or five seconds, like a nice and then as you exhale, exhale through a soft jaw, your mouth, and feel your chest and soften it. You know, that's a way to just start doing the maintenance on our bodies and our emotional bodies, to to dissolve the things we're holding. And you know this thing that your therapist said you got to feel it. Well, if we don't feel it and let it move through us, then it's in us and it's going to affect us and it's just really smart leadership, self leadership, to say wow, I'm feeling a certain thing. Let me make space for this and just feel through it. It could be sadness, it could be fear, it could be anger you know, for most men, anger, you know frustrations. It's real stuff and there's different ways to express it in healthy ways, so it doesn't come out at your wife, your kids or the people you work with.
Speaker 1:And I think all those are. Those are just you know. You know you're not going to be symptoms. Like you know, I've talked a lot about you know trauma and even last year at my conference in Atlanta I had Lauren. My therapist actually speaks at my conference every year and she does masculine, feminine, and then we pulled up some high top chairs and we sit and we share my story. One of the things I always talk about is because I didn't realize I had trauma at 40 years. I was 53 years old two years ago and my therapist asked me to share my story and I'm like well, I grew up in, born in Detroit, grew up in Pontiac. Since I was eight, mom moved to Georgia, atlanta area when I was in second grade. From my sixth grade year to my senior year of high school, I moved back and forth to my dad's six different times. Yeah, my therapist here in Birmingham. I call her a mild version of Medea. Yeah, she's an older black lady and she's hilarious.
Speaker 1:She said honey, why did you move so many times? Yeah, and I'm like Maxine, I didn't have a choice. Anytime I got in trouble, my mom would say, go pack a bag. And I had 24 to 48 hours. I was on the crossing plane or my dad was on the way to pick me up. Oh, that's tough. I looked at me and I've had two aha moments in my life One when I gave my life to Christ in 93. Yeah, I love that. And then she looked at me and she said how do you think that's affected your relationship with the women in your life who are supposed to love and protect you? Yeah, no, trust, dude. Oh, I lost it three weeks before that.
Speaker 1:I was in San Francisco with a girl that I was dating I love very much. I picked me up from the airport we didn't even make it across the bridge headed north. We had an argument, I made a pull the car over, I got my suitcase out and I left and I had no idea. Yeah, that was, that was something. So the trauma, the reacting versus responding and not being able to set good boundaries, healthy boundaries, is huge, and when you can't do that, it's a sign of trauma.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me just tap on this because this is a beautiful I mean for any listener that's trying to understand what's actually happening here. So, as a kid, what your mom you know, no matter what, what good intention she might have had, whenever you got in trouble, she basically threw you out the window. That's conditional love. So if you do right, you're good, If you do wrong, you're out, and that created a habit within you. So now you're in relationship as an adult and if something goes wrong, you immediately think I'm out, I'm going to lose it, and so what's actually happening is you're afraid of being thrown out. You're afraid of being thrown away and in that place of fear, instead of feeling fear and being like baby, I'm afraid that you're going to kick me out of this car. We just get ahead of it. We go, I'm out suitcase, because we don't want to feel the fear. We want to just move on and get away from it as fast as possible. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly why.
Speaker 1:So it's been a two year journey of unpacking trauma and unpacking me breath work, somatic therapy, all this stuff, which is huge. I saw posts you did today or yesterday on Quest, because I've been single now for several years, yeah. And I saw posts you did on the questions to ask when dating. Yeah, and I am huge, like it's funny because I just did it in my dating experience over the last year and a half has has come out of that. I did a series called Dating 9-1-1, part one, part two, and then you get more experiences. You wait a little bit of time to to not uncover the innocent or the guilty, and then I did part three and they were the three most downloaded podcasts I've ever had Unbelievable, yeah, which tells me there are people that are looking forward, not just people that are single, but people that are married. Like what does it look like to have a healthy relationship? Absolutely, and I ask you to walk our audience through the, the three questions you ask when you're dating someone and you're trying to figure out what that looks like.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's three types of questions. So the first thing, before you even date anybody, you should know what you're trying to create with your life next and how a relationship fits into that. You know most of us are creating our life, whether we're running businesses or we have like whatever. Whatever we're doing, I was 36 and I wanted to have kids. So I knew, okay, I'm heading toward a relationship where I'm looking for someone that's a yes to being a mother and wants to do that thing.
Speaker 2:So the first thing is where are you going in your life? And you want to ask questions that help you understand if the person you're dating is in right alignment with that. So you might say you know, what do you look, what do you imagine. The next 10 years of your life look like you know. What are you doing with your life, what's important to you, what do you want to create with your life? If anyone's listening, that's in their 30s, you know we need to know if the women or men that we're dating want to have children and if that's something that's front and center, because you know there's not a lot of time to kind of mess around with that. It's like we need to know that right up front. So, first of all, the first set of questions are what do you want to do with your life, and questions like that, so that you can understand if the person in front of you align in terms of where you live, what you want to create out of relationship, etc. The second set of questions for me I want to find someone that's emotionally capable and deep. You know someone that has the ability to be emotionally available and competent within relationship, and so one of the ways that you can tease out is the person in front of me emotionally competent and intelligent and deep is you can, you know, you can ask questions like you know what's the hardest thing you've ever been through in your life? And they'll share that part. And then you go and how did that feel Like, how did it feel to go through that? And a lot of people will say, oh, I don't know, it's fine. And now you know that person doesn't have emotional depth. Some people will say, well, it's been really challenging and you know, I've done some therapy around and I've had to really work with the grief of it. And if someone's talking in that kind of language, they have a relationship to emotional depth and intelligence that is deeper than most people, and this is like 1%. We're not talking about a large group of people that have this, really the top 1% of like of dating potentials. And so, between those first two sets of questions, you know, are we aligned in our moments in life and does this person have emotional depth and capacity that puts us in a really good position to know whether the person you're sitting across from is capable of creating a relationship?
Speaker 2:The third set of questions get really down into the weeds of relationship dynamics. So, you know, what we know is there's different love languages and we inherit these from our parents, and so some people will feel love through affection, some people will feel love when people do acts of service or words of affirmation. You know, there's a bunch of different ways that people feel love, and one of the things that I see in couples all the time is they love each other, but their love languages are misaligned, and that's actually really difficult to work with, because then you have to learn how to love in a different way, and that's possible. It's actually very possible, and I do it with my clients all the time. However, I'd rather start in the front end asking you know, how do you experience love, how do you give love, and that way I can see if this is going to just kind of start, naturally, from a right kind of place in terms of the experience of love. And then there's questions of intimacy and intimacy like in terms of sensuality, but intimacy in terms of emotional connection too. And so just you know, what are you looking for, what do you desire in relationship in terms of emotional connection, sexual connection, etc.
Speaker 2:So those are all questions that I ask, and I don't ask them all on the first date. That'd be pretty intense. But you know, I do sort of start to tease them out because I want to know and frankly, when dating I want to be efficient, because if someone's going to be a no, I want to know as soon as possible. I don't want to be two months into a relationship and then find out oh, we misaligned dramatically on something Like I'd rather know right away. So I can just bow and say thank you for your time, I'm going to move on, but I hope you have a great life and that way I can get through the dating process and find right relationship and then get to what I'm actually after, because I don't want to date. I want to be in love, I want to create love, you know, and so dating for me is sort of like, I don't know, it's an onboarding process before you start the work of life, and so, yeah, I mean, I hope that answers your question.
Speaker 1:The three kind of right, one of the things? Yeah, one of the things. I did a video last week and I talked about tension in the dating thing, like it's okay to ask questions that create tension? Yeah, because you find out who that person is and the goal isn't for you and I to have a great time or hook up or any of the goal is Is this person that's sitting across from me in alignment, and could they potentially be my partner?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so there's. Let me just talk about tension. So if we're asking deep questions when we're in dating scenarios, you know, one of the things that's important is how you hold your energy right. So if I ask a deep question with a smile on my face, it's going to create excitement. If I ask a deep question but I have kind of a stoic face, that can create fear, can create other energies, and so tension is an interesting thing to explore.
Speaker 2:I actually asked my wife on our first date. I said you know, what are you looking to do with a relationship? And what she's related to me is that when I asked her that question, she actually had a bit of fear come up, like a little bit of like not, not, I don't. I think she was just like whoa, oh, okay, like uh, and she kind of she. She had a moment where it's like okay, I either have to own my truth or I'm not going to be truthful to myself. And so she just brought her truth, which is I'm here to create relationship and practice love with a partner. And when she brought that answer, I was able to go yeah, great, that's what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2:And you know, she felt tension because I asked her a very direct question, but it caused her to rise in her power as a woman and voice her truth and her authentic truth. And then I got to say either yes or no to that, and I said yes because she answered right. A lot of the people that I asked what are you here to do in relationship? What are you here to do with a relationship and what do you want to do with a relationship? They just gave these kind of blasé answers like, well, I don't really know, I just want to be in love, I want to create blah, blah, blah, and it's like I wanted someone. That was, yeah, like I'm here to do this, you know what I mean, and so yeah, tension.
Speaker 1:When do you think in the process, max, you can. When do you think in the process, or how long in the process do you think, like, not that you know this is the person I'm gonna marry, but you know, wow, I'd love to give this a shot. Yeah, and see if this is my person pretty early on.
Speaker 2:I mean, I didn't date anyone for more than six weeks and so basically what? On my first date, it was either a yes or a maybe. If it was a no, I just said thanks for your time, not interested in presuming it further. And then, second, third, fourth date, I really looked at some big markers that were important to me. We don't have to get into them, but just like the real things that align in terms of how I live my life and what I'm looking for in partnership, and as soon as I noticed that there was something that was a loud enough red flag that I didn't want to be within relationship, I just moved on and so I was able to give me one of those red flags for you, max yeah.
Speaker 2:So you know healthy food and healthy diet is important for me. You know I want to. I want to live a resilient and vital life, and so the way I eat, I eat, you know it doesn't matter, but I eat clean food and, and so I wanted to make sure that whoever I'm aligning with in relationship had a healthy relationship to food. And so if I went to her house and noticed like oh wow, like the, the refrigerator is just full of takeout and like it's horrible Quality food, then like that's a big thing and I mean, yeah, I can, I can take. I mean I cook every day for my wife and family, but you know, sometimes she cooks and I want her to. I want to have a wife that's capable of creating healthy food.
Speaker 2:The other thing, too, was Spiritual practice, and this is complicated in 2024, like it's.
Speaker 2:It's hard because a lot of people don't have such a clear discern ship around what their spiritual practice was or is, and so when you're working with people that are sort of unsure, I just wanted to know that I had a partner that had access to a higher potential of life and actually lived from that place, and so what I mean by lived from that place is that when you have a relationship to God or you have a relationship to the divine, however you want to frame it you sort of feel like you're, you're, you're well-held in life and you feel like things are gonna be okay because they unfold, like on behalf of what is right.
Speaker 2:And People that don't have spiritual spirituality tend to live in a very narrow and small minded, kind of selfish way, because there's like, what, what more is there than our own experience? It's not this, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so that was one of the things that really mattered to me was, you know, access to the idea that there's more to life and, and just spiritual doubt, a depth. And when I met my wife, I was just I was I was moved dramatically by her relationship to what is in terms of the, you know, existential questions of spirituality and God, and and it's really an important piece of our relationship, you know, because we root the power of our love and the power of our creation in a bigger idea of what we are here like, what are the divine gifts we've been given that we can utilize to empower our love on earth? You know.
Speaker 1:Walk me through, because one of the things, one of the conversations I have early in Kind of the day is funny because you said six weeks. I literally my third Lauren is like, and I've narrowed it down from two months to three months to about four to six, about a four to six week window, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm like yeah.
Speaker 1:Like for me, one of the things is I'm up at 4 am, I'm at the gym at five, which I'm fine, going to the gym at six. But I've got it is you know, a day to the girl that I really liked and about about a week into it I'm like, hey, she goes. Listen, I'm not going to the gym with you, it's not really my thing, and I'm like that's cool girl scout. Yeah, exactly because I want somebody to do life with.
Speaker 1:I want somebody that I can do the gym with. I want somebody that I can come home and cook breakfast with. I want somebody that wants to dance to Frank Sinatra and listen to me sing terribly in the kitchen with my little Bose radio. Yeah, yeah that that's what I want. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:So actually for your listeners, I just want to tap on this because it's important. So six weeks and the reason why I I talked to a couple relational therapists and I asked when do Emotions and stories start to get created? When we're dating, like, at what point do we start projecting, like, oh, I could totally imagine a life with this person, like where we start to go into the storytelling of what's possible in relationship. And it's around six weeks. So around six weeks we start to go from just the real life experience of dating to wow, this could be my wife, this could be my partner for life. And you don't want to get too far into that without some clean resolution which is either a I'm a yes, fully, or I'm a no. And once you get into the two, three month window, it just gets really messy if there isn't clarity, if there isn't strong leadership.
Speaker 2:So when I was dating, I cut it off at six weeks. I tried to cut it off as soon as I knew it was a no, and so in some cases, three weeks, four weeks, whatever, and most people I actually cut off after the first date. I dated 20 people, most of them, 16 of them I just first date only and I said thanks for your time for them. I dated for more expensive, extensive periods of time and then, you know, closed that, closed it and moved on.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you a question, because this is something like if anybody that's here, it's on a dating app or any of those kind of things. Like for me, I'm like I'm gonna have a. I'm a face timer. Yeah, like so my first call with somebody is normally I just FaceTime. Amount of blue. I'm usually sitting right here or I'm sitting downstairs and I'll just FaceTime.
Speaker 2:I'll be like well, hey, you caught me off guard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are some of the questions you recommend to ask before? Because for me I'm like, listen, I can call about 90 of them out before I even have to even go out on a date with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally yeah. Well, so I mean the first thing, I would say I did the same thing when I, when I, when I matched with my wife actually on Tinder, we had a like a really brief text conversation. But I don't like text conversations and I don't want to play games. So I basically said, hey, can I call you? And that way, you know, she could say yes or like later she also had a three-year-old when I met.
Speaker 2:Well, I knew that she had a kid, so I just wanted to be sensitive to that. And so I said, you know, can I call you? And she was like yeah, and so she sent me her number and I called her and I was like hey, I just want to hear your voice, like how are you? Who are you? Like, what's what? What are we doing here? And, um, I well, I didn't ask that, but you know, I think the questions to ask right off the bat are what are you looking for in a relationship? You know, if you just lead with that, you're creating depth right from the get-go and you get to see how someone responds to that. So they might not know. And now you know they don't know. And how do you go ahead?
Speaker 1:How do you handle a situation where you've asked because this is one of the things that I've so that dating 911 series I did came out of a conversation several months ago when it was a post that I actually did on twitter and it was hey, ladies, don't tell me how long you've been single, tell me how long you've been with your therapist.
Speaker 1:Oh, because you get well, I've been single 10 years, or I've been single five years, or I've been single three years, and the reality is they haven't done any work. So they revert right back to the same issues they had in their last relationship, or their surface, and they think that the length of time they've been single equals to the amount of healing that their, that their heart has Not necessarily.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, not, not at all, not at all. Yeah, exactly, oh, yeah, I mean I think that's an interesting question. I think you know I remember I'm trying to think back to like specifics of questions that I asked. One thing I asked was what was the longest relationship you've ever been in? When did you get out of your last relationship? You know, I wanted to avoid people that were going from you know relationship to popping right. So someone that was in a one year relationship they got out last week. They're dating again. Like I'm not available for that moment.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know, I was looking for real relationships and so I was looking for someone who had some spaciousness between the end of the last relationship and now. Yeah, I think the most important thing is just it's that alignment piece, man, like are we aligned in the right moment of our lives? And so you just want to ask that kind of upfront and I think it's great. You know, get on FaceTime, get on a call, move it, move it into the real world as soon as possible, because we the online sphere of dating is challenging and there's so much like, there's so much curiosity and questions and fears, and so you know the other thing is most people are dating to find a relationship and that's a big deal. That's a real big deal. Like I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with not any small investment, and I want to get out of the realm of communication through text, immediately get onto a phone call.
Speaker 2:I met my wife probably two days after we matched and I just went right in. I just said what are you looking for? What do you want to do? And I said here's what I'm looking for. And if somebody, if you ask somebody that question and they don't know how to answer it, you can always model your own depth. So you can just say well, here's what I'm looking for in a relationship, how does that feel for you? And then they can either say, wow, well, that actually feels really good. I hadn't really considered that. It's okay if they haven't considered it. You know, it's kind of a more masculine thing to kind of strategize and know the whole. This is what I want to create for the next 92 years of my life.
Speaker 1:What do you mention this? Because one of the things that I've experienced, one of the things the feedback I get a lot is people say they want a relationship, but they really haven't counted the costs on what a relationship looks like.
Speaker 2:Well, that's why I say what does a relationship mean to you?
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, yeah, to try to figure that out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I mean, what's your experience with a relationship? What's your longest relationship you've had? What does a relationship mean to you? Let people speak their truth, you know, if you ask the right question and listen to what they say, and if they're like well, I don't know. Well, now you know they have no idea what they're doing with a relationship and that's a pretty good red flag, you know. I remember I asked one woman. I said what do you want to do in a relationship? And she's like well, I'm not sure. I'm not even sure where I want to live in six months. And I was like awesome, thanks, we're complete. I mean, I didn't say it in that moment, but I knew I was like that's. You know, you're not who I'm looking for, right?
Speaker 1:Talk about resilience. That's another thing. That's another post you've had recently. Oh yeah, this big resilience, endating You're single, being resilient because it can. It can take the wind out of you. Yeah, it's fatiguing emotionally and energetically.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yeah, so the thing about resilience. So I I'm a real big proponent of clean structure for how we date and if we can go into it, knowing how to get the right questions out, how to ask, how to feel whether their energy is right, If we have that, those skills, and then we have a structure like what I said before, you know I'll, I'll go on a first date and if it's a no, then it's a no. If it's a yes or maybe, then I'll go in four weeks worth of dates and if I'm not a hell yes by the end of four weeks, then I'm a no, and so I just allow that to be true and by doing that I'm not getting stuck in the difficulty of, ah, but could she be right? Could he be right? Like, I'm not in that energy and that's the energy that's fatiguing. Where is he at? I haven't heard from him in a month. Like, I want to know that she can communicate the way I communicate and that we communicate at the same frequency. I want to know that she wants to create relationship. And if I can't feel that from her in the first four weeks, then it's a no, and that way I can get out of it and move on.
Speaker 2:And I dated for a year and I actually got to the end of the year and I was going to take another six months off and just clean my palate and kind of do stuff for me, go on some hikes, go on some camping trips alone. And my wife popped up on the last day as I was getting off Tinder and so I had a crazy moment of just like we were passing each other on the door. She just got on Tinder, I was getting off it and we met each other and I was like, boom, there we go Off to the races. How long into that did you know? I knew the day I met her, I knew, yeah, I mean, it was that fast. I basically I had talked to her on the phone a couple of times and I knew where she was at.
Speaker 2:I kind of got the first questions out of the way, like what are you really looking to do? And she was like, well, you know, I have a son, I want to create a family. I said, are you open to having more kids? She said yes. I said great, and I loved her energy, I loved her vitality. She was just. You know, my wife is amazing, she's resilient, she's just a. She's an awesome human being and I loved her energy and so I was like I'd love to meet you. And so I met her and we went and got dinner. We walked down a street in New Orleans, went and got dinner, and then we sat on the levee and watched boats go by under a full moon and I just asked, you know, the questions I needed to know. And as soon as I got the answers, I just realized, I think I found the woman in my dreams and I remember feeling in my body like I found home.
Speaker 2:I found home in this woman and I knew it that night and so funny I as we were departing that evening, I was like I got to take a picture of us and so I just grabbed her and she was like really embarrassed. She like covered her face. I took a picture and I still it's my favorite thing because it's such a perfect like I just threw her into this moment of kind of discomfort and her habitual reaction to that is like, ah, and so I have this great picture of her just being in that. But I knew that day I was like this is my wife, this is the woman I'm going to marry. And you know, then I spent the next couple of weeks just sort of sussing out is that actually true? And I was like it is true, it was true at every moment.
Speaker 1:How did you? Let me answer your question how did you keep that Like? There's a scripture that says Mary pondered those things in her heart. So if you're a person of faith, you're listening to this. When the angel came to Mary and said, hey, you're, the Holy Spirit is going to put Jesus on the inside of you, she didn't tell anybody, she just kind of like and for me, that act of patience and processing. How did you keep that, yes, in your heart and when was the first time you've voiced that to somebody? And who was that person?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good question. I lead my life from a connection to God and what that looks like is I use breath and I use meditation to clear my mind and get out of the energetics of my human beingness and I come into a place of what can I do, what am I here to do, what do I need to know? And then I just sit and I allow that to be that vacuum of space and I just allow whatever comes through to come through and I really believe that we can access true relationship to God, to Jesus, to, you know, angels, like whatever, whatever it is that you know your listeners believe, and. And so that's how you know.
Speaker 2:When I met my wife, I had a deep meditation practice and what that means for me is I just breathe. I do 20 minutes of breath. It's really conscious long breath. So four seconds in, six seconds out, and I just come into a complete theta brain wave state. You know Joe Dispenza talks a lot about this, but it's just moving, getting out of the nervous system, response and reaction, getting out of the emotional body and just getting into presence. And so by the time I met my wife, I had a pretty serious practice in meditation, not daily but weekly, and these days, with the amount that I hold in my life, including my kids, I meditate every morning and then I do breath practice five to 10 minute breath practice in between all my client calls, just to kind of shed everything I'm holding, come into relationship with you know the divine, with God, and and really just allow you know God to guide me in my knowing, because that's really the deepest knowing we have is when we have the support of God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. So who was the first, who was the first person you told, and how long past that was it? You mean, when I met my wife?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean did you call your buddy and go dude, I met.
Speaker 1:I met her, or was she would? She was the one that you told.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I think I. She was the first person. I probably was just like. I mean, I don't know who I was talking to at the time. I probably had some friends. I might have said something to somebody but I'm my brother, maybe, but but no, I told her. I said I think I like, I just, I just remember being like I'm such a yes to this. I think that I found the woman of my dreams, like you're it, and, and she got to just celebrate and relax into that and we've just been running high on love and life since, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and how early was that?
Speaker 1:How early was that? Probably right away.
Speaker 2:Probably like within. I mean, dude, listen, man. I had dated for a year. I knew what I was after, and I don't believe in soulmates. I don't believe that there's only one person on this planet we can fall in love with. I believe that there are people everywhere we can fall in love with. I mean, it's just about right alignment. And so when I knew I had found it, I just decided I had found it and I decided this is the woman I'm going to choose, this is the woman I'm going to serve, this is the woman I'm going to create the rest of my life with. And I just chose it.
Speaker 2:And then at that point, I was just like cool, you're my woman, I love you. What do we need to do here? And then I just said like here's, here's what's alive for me, like you've got a three year old, I'd like to have another child, probably like in the next year or two. Like how does it feel for you to get married? You know I've, this is probably a month or two in. But I was like you know how does it feel to get married in a couple of months and then? And then move toward creating a family? And and she was yes, so we did that, and when we got married she was pregnant, so my daughter was at the wedding only, you know, a month old. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's awesome dude. So the resilience Talk to me about the fulfillment.
Speaker 2:Talk to me about the fulfillment.
Speaker 1:Talk to me about the fulfillment, like you're literally ready to hop off, you're like I'm done, I'm out, and then, like literally, the two worlds just kind of converge together.
Speaker 2:Well, there's two things. There's some real magic. That happened in that moment. So I didn't close the door on dating with resentment. I wasn't like this isn't working for me, like I'm sick of this. What I did is you know that song you Can't Hurry Love by the Supremes Like yeah, yeah, yeah you know the song, so I actually played that song.
Speaker 2:I remember just being in the joy of you know what love will find me when it's meant to find me, and I'm just going to move on powerfully from this moment. So I was in a very open and yes, kind of space to life, and then I was getting off the dating sites and she popped up. So it just happened to work. And I do think that there's some magic, like when you relinquish control and you surrender to what is Willow Merch. I really believe that and I think that there's, you know, a little bit of God's hands in the way that life works in that way. And so I feel like there was a divine moment that just happened and it was so it was such a razor thin moment that, like I mean, I would have missed it in any other case, I think. I think that because it was like she just popped up and it was such a yes, she was cute, she said the right things in her bio and I was like huh and I just said I'll give her till noon tomorrow, you know, and I just because I was going to get off that day, and at 9am the next morning we connected, but without getting into that too much this thing about resilience we have to cultivate as individuals and as men. I'll talk to men here.
Speaker 2:You know, one of the things about grit and determination is that we can stay in the game and we can do hard things. And I think that you know, part of resilience is just knowing like God's got my back. I'm a yes to this life, even the hard parts, and I'm capable of doing it. And if we have that as our foundational way of being, resilience isn't difficult. When it comes to dating, the important part is not getting wrapped up in the story Like I'm never going to find love, nobody wants me, I'm not valuable, like any of that stuff is garbage and it's from her childhood and it's not true. And so just recognizing the things that are coming up like I'm never going to find someone oh no, that's not true. She's out there and she's looking for me right now and we just need to find each other Like that's the kind of stuff we can hinge resilience on. Does that make sense? Yeah, most definitely.
Speaker 1:Claiming a woman.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, it matters.
Speaker 1:Yeah, talk to me about that and what that looks like in a healthy way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, totally. So I talk about this and I posted something about claiming a woman recently and there's two camps. Basically, the majority of women that respond say, oh my God, yes, please. And then some women say, oh, it's so patriarchal, blah, blah, blah. Just to be clear, claiming a woman is not ownership, not at all.
Speaker 2:What claiming a woman is is it saying I want you, I adore you, I want to make a life with you, for you, for us. You are my woman Full stop. That's what claiming is, and it's just saying I want to do this together, I want to be in this together. You're my woman. There's not a single other woman in the world that I would choose. It's you. And that kind of container. By creating that, you're letting her know as a man, he's got me, he's my guy, he wants me, and there's an energetic thing that happens, there's something that happens that you know. It's just a very real experience to be a woman and have a man claim you through that lens. And it's also a very real experience as a man when I say I'm, I'm now here to provide for and take care of this, this, this family, this, this woman, and it might not be just financially. You know, a lot of people work and so now it's like men might not be the top breadwinner. It's not about that, it's just about I'm here for us, I'm here for you, I'm here to create a life together and I'm here to steward us forward.
Speaker 2:And I really do believe that, in general, the masculine in all of us, in women and men, is more leadership oriented and can create ideas of structure and where we want to go, whereas the feminine is more flow and energy and love, and you know it's all the energy, it's. It's. You know. The masculine is conscious awareness. The feminine is just energy. And so you know, if you, if you're a man, and you attract a partner who's more in her feminine, like she's going to delight in your ability to say here's where we are, here's what I want to do, this is what I want to create. I want to do it with you. I love you, I'm here for you, I'm here for us that kind of creation, like you're creating a container in your relationship by doing that, you know, and it's very freeing you know, I love that, I love that.
Speaker 1:What would you say to somebody that's out there, guy or girl, and they've walked through this whole dating process and they've got some. They've got some casualties? Yeah, they've got some wounds out there and they're, but they're still. They're still wanting to. And at what point, max, are you okay getting into a relationship? Because in that that whole, don't tell me how long you've been with your therapist or how long you've been single. Tell me how long you've been with the therapist. I did three things in that podcast yeah, how long you've been with your therapist. The length of time. The length of time you've worked on yourself. Like, what are you doing? Like I went through the way of the superior man three times in a month, like, literally, in a month, I'm just devouring that book three times in a row. And then the length of time spent in a healthy relationship, because at some point you have to be in a healthy relationship to be able to fine tune who you are and to continue to do that kind of deep work on yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, you bring up a good point. So there's a lot of healing that can happen on ourselves as individuals, but a lot of healing has to happen in relationship, because when we're alone we're not triggered in the ways that we get triggered in relationship, and it's in those triggers that we actually have to do the healing and do the work to soften around our wounds and baggage. One thing I will say is that I do believe that clearing out any withheld emotions or energetic hooks that we have with X's is crucial before we get into relationships. So you know, looking back at your X's and going do I have a charge with any of these people? Do I have resentment, do I have frustrations, do I have sadness, grief, et cetera, and doing your best to clear it out, because I want to be able to show up clean. You know I'm not going to show up and create a relationship with my wife if I'm still talking with an X or if I still like have you know engagements with X's that I had, you know, intimate relations with. I believe in real, clean energetics and so that means you know cleaning up, you know, any hooks that are energetic but also emotional and so baggage. I think it's important.
Speaker 2:Like I told you, when I went through my divorce, I spent six months just doing grief, and I did grief work with my ex, not with her. I did grief around my ex-wife and the divorce and I did grief around, you know, even my life. Like my mom passed away when I was young. My dad, kind of, was emotionally unavailable for most of my teen years and I was really alone, and so I had a big wound around the fear of being alone and not receiving the love I'm here to create and receive, and so I had to do a lot of work around that too. So I was free of the fear and the tension, you know. So I wasn't dating from a place of neediness or, like you know, fear. You know, like I didn't really need anything. I just dated from a place of I feel clean, I feel clear and I'm here to create beauty and love Does that make sense, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And once I got in relationship, yeah, shit start to pop up. Pardon my language, but yeah, stuff will pop up in your relationship and you just got to go. Okay, how can I work this with curiosity? And you know my wife will call me out, she'll be like I don't like this way that you're doing like whatever, and I'll be like you know I might not be able to respond in the moment, but I'll reflect on it over the week and say, okay, what is this habitual pattern that keeps popping up in my relationship? Where is it coming from? How do I work it? I might get a therapist.
Speaker 2:I work with coaches. I have a lot of friends who are really high-powered coaches and so I'm really lucky. I can call a guy. That's, like, you know, amazing. And I can just be like hey, can you tell me, give me a sense, like where am I right, where am I wrong, where is she right? What's going on here? Energetically, and so I have really good support in terms of working things out and I have support from people. This is, you know, therapy is great, but really coaches are great because they're not beholden to rules, and so I can call a friend and I can just say what's going on, like there's a circumstance, and you know, I'll have a friend that'll just say, bro, you're full of it, man, this is on you and you've got to clean this up, and I'm like, oh, thanks, and then I'll do it, you know.
Speaker 1:And I had a situation just recently, in the last few months, where somebody that I was seeing was like hey, I see your Instagram videos in the morning and you're on your Peloton with no shirt on, but it looks like you're naked, like it literally looks like you don't have any clothes on, and I'm like, okay, well, I ran it by one of my best friends and he goes yeah, I've been telling you that forever, yeah, yeah, where is?
Speaker 1:she right, yeah, okay, got you. I mean, I just wanted the feedback. It's again, it's not about who's right, it's about what's right.
Speaker 2:But I just wanted to. Well, where is she right? Right, you know, anytime anything pops up in the field, there's usually some truth to it and there's also, whatever it's causing the impact, that it's causing, and so yeah, it's you know it's worth. Yeah, good, good work. You did the right thing and you got the right feedback, and then you made adjustments. I did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I did literally when, when I got the text, I just asked him. I was with him and I asked him and he goes did. I've been telling you that forever and I'm like yeah, I mean. I didn't, it was just here up. Anyway, I know.
Speaker 2:I know, I know, but still body when I'm in the bell of time. But yeah, yeah, yeah, I totally that was, that was a whole thing.
Speaker 1:How funny. What were some? What were what were some, if any, some boundaries that you and your, your wife, set about arguments Like how are we, how do we get emotional expression?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, let me start this way Before we talk about boundaries, I think most men should know that you can develop a wider capacity to be with her expression. So, if she's angry, instead of just collapsing because you have a really small capacity to be with emotion, just recognize that. That's the work. Before we start establishing boundaries, we need to increase our capacity to be with what is, because that's historically one of the problems within men we can't be with her truth, we can't be with her emotions. As soon as she gets emotional, we get kicked up into our own emotions and our shame cycles and we get stuck in those and that way relationship healing doesn't happen. So, before we talk about boundaries, become a man who can hear, even when it's hard to hear. You know if anybody works out right, that 10th rep when you're like at failure, if you can stay at that edge of failure without dropping your arms that's sort of what I'm talking about You're developing more capacity to be at the edges of our emotional failures. So, anyway, as we develop more of a capacity to be with as well as tools, so that we can actually hear, I utilize tools I use the Amago dialogue or a variation of it. So if my wife's blasting energy at me because she's upset, I'll do my best to kind of regain my footing. I might even say hold on, I need to take a breath, I really want to hear you, but just give me a second and then I'll go okay, what do I need to hear here? And then she'll tell me and I'll say let me see if I got this right. This is what you said, and so developing a strategy to actually resolve emotional upticks is the most important thing we can do Now around boundaries.
Speaker 2:You know I work with a lot of people who have trauma and one of the I have some trauma. We all have trauma, but, like you know, there's some trauma that just it comes up as extreme emotional expressions when we feel fear, when we feel scared, like whatever Toxic emotional expression is, when we are just blasting at a level 10 our emotional energy at somebody. And I have a degree of boundary. I mean I'm not going to castrate my wife's emotional expression, but if it's just like she's just blasting anger, I'll say, baby, like let's, let's take this down a notch. I really want to hear you, but like can we just come back to this in 20 minutes, and so it's not that I'm a boundary to her expression, but I might be a can we? Can we do this in a way where we can actually move through it? But you know other I didn't have to create a lot of boundaries with my wife.
Speaker 2:She's incredibly energetically, like high integrity, but you know, one of the things that I talk to men about a lot is you should boundary your own energy around the feminine. Like, don't keep these people on text. Or like don't message people on Instagram that are attractive. Or like you know, be careful with what your mind does and be careful with what you. You know, don't flirt with women randomly if you're dating somebody. Like, clean it up, clean your energy up.
Speaker 2:And so a lot of the boundaries that I create are my own boundaries. Like I'm going to just be a man of more impeccable discipline around my thoughts, around my energetic engagement with the feminine in the world. I'm also just, um, I boundary my own bullshit, like, really so like, if I'm feeling lazy, cool, maybe I need a nap. I don't want to be lazy. I'll take a 20 minute nap and then I'll get to work.
Speaker 2:So I don't, I don't allow myself to just be in these spaces that are energetically, um, I don't know, not in alignment with who I'm here to be. So the first thing I'll say on boundaries, there's a lot of shit that we can boundary. That's our own shit, you know what I mean? Like, like emotional sobriety, for example, like maybe you need to chill out on how you express emotionally and learn how to become more competent. That's a good boundary. But then, in terms of our partnerships, yeah, I don't know. You know, um, it depends on the kind of relationship you're trying to create, and I, I want a woman who I know is, is my woman and she's an integrity and and I don't have to boundary anything with her cause, she's just solid.
Speaker 1:You know, you know, gs young blood, who's a friend of mine, wrote the way of the masking or the masking relationship. Yeah, there was a chapter in there that that he did. That was about holding space.
Speaker 2:Yeah and I'll, yeah, he's great.
Speaker 1:I mean, I read this chapter about a year, year and a half ago, before I had him on my podcast and I read it and I'm doing on audible and I'm like you know, when you have trauma you can't hold space. Feminine are naturally emotional creatures. They're going to get elevated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's not just women, you, just men, the masculine in man. Our feminine side is an emotional side, you know, and that's not a bad thing. Emotions are great. Joy, love, you know, that's all emotions too.
Speaker 1:Is the is to hold space for them and hear them and give them a space to be exactly what they are. I mean, I'm not sure if you've ever heard. Yeah, and I ended a 27 year marriage two years ago and four years ago I'd moved out and I literally screenshotted that and I sent it to the girl's mom and I said, hey, I did not know how to do this because every time she would come out I would do exactly what he said in the book I would explain or defend.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're trying to avoid feeling your own shame. Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1:I just exactly what he's talked about and I I sent it to her email and I said hey, I'm sorry I didn't, I did not know how to do this, yeah.
Speaker 2:I just want to pin this. That book, the Masculine in Relationship, by GS Youngblood is a really good book. You know, between the way, the superior man by data, gs Youngblood's book, robert Glover's book on nice guys and then John Weinland's book from the core, those four books will really get you into a new realm of understanding around relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, three of those. What was the last one you mentioned, cause I don't think I've read that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, john Weinland, and the book is from the core. He just put it out last year and it's an incredible book on masculine depth leadership and impeccable. You know how to come into an impeccable way with your masculinity. John studied with data for a long time. He, you know, and I know all these guys. You know GS and Robert Glover and John. These are all friends of mine, so I know their books and I know where they're coming from and they're they're honest teachings and they're real books.
Speaker 1:I love it. Like I said I told you, maybe even all fair. I read the way the superior man three times in a row. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Yeah, every man should read that at least three times. Oh, book is, yeah, it's good. And actually you know what's?
Speaker 2:interesting. David goes into more teachings around it, so it's interesting if you get the audible version of it. There's more to it than the book itself and he's teaching live Like he it's. It's David's an incredible teacher of this stuff and it's really worth checking out the audible version of way of the superior man If you haven't that's all I do.
Speaker 1:Now is the audible version.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I literally, when I'm in the shower bathroom getting ready, I have something playing consistently all the time yeah, and that one was for about six weeks. Yeah, Three, three times in a row by the time I hit it super good. And over time it's like I could almost finish what he was saying in those sentences and it's huge. This, this, the awareness of who you are as a man, and your energy and how you give your energy and how you steward and guard your energy as a man was game changer.
Speaker 2:Todd. It's so important. He's a master of energetics. If you ever get a chance to watch him coach a couple in a live container, it's, it's pure mastery, his awareness of energy and her energy and his energy and what needs like. It's like he's a magician of energetics and he's really kind of you know, he was a scientist or something before he went into any of this stuff, so he has that kind of mind and he really was able to just take the you know, the teachings that he comes from, lineage that he comes from, and make them really valuable to a modern people.
Speaker 1:Well, dude, I'm grateful for you. I love what you're doing.
Speaker 2:Thanks, man, I love you.
Speaker 1:I love your voice. I love the impact that you're having. Ton of friends follow you. Um best way to connect with you, max.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I'm on Instagram and that's where most people find me. So, max Trumbly, t-r-o-m-b-l-y, my website is a shiftinbeingcom. I'm about to rebuild my website, so give me two months, it's going to get better. But yeah, you know, just look me up, max Trumbly, it's easy to find, and Instagram is kind of where I spend most of my time in terms of my outward um, you know, transmission and engagement. Um, you know, talking about energy, I have really clean, uh, lanes of energy and so I don't want people emailing me. Basically, just like use my contact form on my website or Instagram and that's the best way.
Speaker 1:And guys, listen, he is dropped constantly. Um, you have quickly become one of my favorites. With some of my other friends out there, that had been just really just like yes, yes, and for me it's just been a super confirming yeah, yeah, doing the right thing, doing the right thing. Oh, okay, that right there. Yes, let me, let me look at that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's a constant.
Speaker 1:It's a constant growth of becoming the best version of myself so I can attract the best person of who God has for me.
Speaker 2:When we do our healing and we become a better version of ourselves, we attract from that resonance. This is science you resonate, they resonate, we attract right resonance. You know, if we're holding depression in our body all the time, we're only going to attract depressed people. If you want to create resilient, beautiful relationships, get clean, get clear, get free and then date from that place.
Speaker 1:I love it, man. Thank you for joining us today, my friend.
Speaker 2:My pleasure man. It's great to be here.
Speaker 1:Most definitely, guys. Thank you for joining us on another episode of as the Leader Grows. As always, if this has added value, if you would grab, hit that subscribe button and then also snap a screenshot, leave it on your Instagram, tag me, tag Max, we'll share that. Give you a little bit of love on Instagram. Thanks, guys, I'll see you on as the Leader Grows.