As The Leader Grows with Ken Joslin
Join Pastor-turned-entrepreneur Ken Joslin on "As The Leader Grows" - where faith meets entrepreneurial excellence. As the CEO of GROW STACK DRIVE and founder of CREATE, America's #1 Faith-based Entrepreneur Conference, Ken brings powerful insights from closing over $250 million in real estate deals and sharing stages with industry titans like John C. Maxwell, Ed Mylett, and Grant Cardone.
Through his transformative Core 5 approach - Faith, Health, Relationships, Business, and Finance - Ken shows entrepreneurs how to build a life of purpose and prosperity. Leading the exclusive GSD Elite Mastermind, he equips faith-driven leaders with the tools to build confidence, gain clarity, and create community while excelling in every crucial area of life.
Ready to start growing? Join our FREE GSD Community at growstackdrive.com/free and subscribe to the podcast to become the best version of yourself. Your journey to extraordinary growth starts here.
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As The Leader Grows with Ken Joslin
Jimmy Rex | Unpacking Masculinity and Meaningful Relationships
After an eventful houseboat sinking that took YouTube by storm, my good friend Jimmy Rex joins us, demonstrating his unwavering calmness amidst the chaos. This episode is a treasure trove of stories, laughter, and life lessons from Jimmy's life. We dive headfirst into his journey from a challenging childhood to his current fame. He shares how early experiences shaped him, teaching him to remain cool under pressure and to prioritize people over possessions.
Reflecting on my own experiences, I share a heartfelt tale about teaching young men the nuances between toxic and healthy masculinity. This encounter not only underscores the power of maintaining composure even in high tensions but also reaffirms that every situation can lead to growth and positive outcomes. Our discussion takes a profound turn as Jimmy opens up about his transition from real estate to fostering deeper connections among men. Hear about his journey from high stakes property sales to creating safe spaces for men to connect and grow together.
Rounding off our conversation, we delve into the importance of generosity and the value of establishing meaningful relationships. Jimmy shares his experiences of how his networking skills have paved the way for lifelong connections and opportunities. He emphasizes the power of giving without any expectations, a principle that can lead to transformative experiences. So plug in those earbuds, prepare to be inspired, and remember - every interaction carries the potential for something meaningful!
Welcome to the ATLG podcast I am your host Ken Joslin, former pastor turned coach & host of CREATE, the #1 Faith-based Entrepreneur conference in America. My mission is to help faith-based entrepreneurs become the best version of themselves by growing in our Core 5: Faith, Health, Relationships, Business & Finances. You can get more information as well as join our FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/676347099851525
If you enjoyed the podcast, come join our FREE GSD Community of hundreds of entrepreneurs & a ton of FREE Content including CREATE Conference recordings with Ken, John Maxwell, Gary Brecka, Ed Mylett & more. growstackdrive.com/free
And hey guys, welcome to another episode of as the leader grows. I am your host, ken Jocelyn, and I've got a super surprise for you. I have got an amazing guest who went viral not because of his leadership ability or anything he's done. He's a phenomenal speaker. He knows speakers, been in 106 countries. His real estate teams have sold over 5,000 homes. He's a bestselling author. He's an investor in a gazillion companies. But my boy sank a houseboat on YouTube. My man, jimmy Rex. What's up, big boy?
Speaker 2:What's up, man? Dude, I think it's the first time I've been introduced like that. I you know. The point of it is is look, the houseboat was already sinking. I just told my buddies to start filming and you know, next thing we knew we put a little Titanic music behind it and went viral. I had over 150 million views on that thing.
Speaker 1:So, dude, I'll never forget when, the first time I met you, we really got to spend some time together. We're both an Irwin's mastermind and we're in Hollywood, out on the back deck, and you're telling me the story and I didn't know it. I was absolutely that. What in the world made you think, okay, the houseboat's sinking, not save the houseboat. Hey guys, we need to get the video in this thing.
Speaker 2:Well, I was just like I grew up with it. The truth is, I grew up with a dad that was amazing in so many ways, but that 5% he was pretty explosive and when things went wrong he really became a not very likeable person to be around is to put it in nicely. And so you know, I just always had this theory when things go wrong or when there's like those situations where my dad would have lost it, I try to just really try to just remain calm and try to be cool with it. And so one of the reasons why everyone loved the videos because I'm kind of laughing and telling jokes I mean it was pretty scary, if I'm being honest, it was pretty touch and go there's that I mean it's literally just taking a water.
Speaker 2:We got the Coast Guard trying to get us off and but I'm just laughing and I turned to my buddies and made a couple of jokes and because I didn't want to, you know cause that? I mean, again, it's like that's what my dad would always do. He just ruined so many family vacations and things because he'd get so upset or he'd lose it. And so I've just trained myself to remain calm in all situations and I think it's a real skill that a lot of people loses. When everything's going haywire around you like really zone it in and go like what's the reality here and how do I make this situation? You know the best we can.
Speaker 1:Dude, I love that Walk me through like that process because I've done a lot. I've got some. I've got some really good therapists. I've done a lot of trauma work from being a kid and being, you know, 12 schools and 12 years shipped back and forth to my dad's from Atlanta, Detroit, six different times. You know a mom who, would you know, throw a humidifier at you, chase you around the house with a pat, all that kind of exactly what you're talking about. Talk to me about what did you? How did you overcome that? Because normally what happens is you just repeat the pattern.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, you know, I think everybody serves a couple of things, like one people either be an example, or of what to do or what not to do. Right, and you know, and again, I had a happy childhood for the most part. I you know it worked. But I remember, just even as a little kid, just going, ok, I'm going to do that different, I'm going to do that different. So I was always looking for stuff like I'll give you an example One time my buddy.
Speaker 2:I was brand new, we just moved to this new area and I was hanging out with this buddy for one of the first times and his dad had this brand new BMW. I think I was 12, 11 or 12. And I had a Pepsi in my hand. It's probably the last time I had a Pepsi. But and I'm getting in his car and and he turns to me, this guy, he was super wealthy but just a very arrogant kind of guy and he says, he says, hey, if you spill that Pepsi in my car, I'll kill you. I mean, this is the first time I've met the guys, barely the first time I met his son, and I just kind of chuckle and comfortably and goes no, I'm serious. And I remember just thinking to myself OK, like if I ever have money when I'm older, I'm never going to put things ahead of people, and I just made a mental note, right, and then I was always just going about doing my thing. I was always making these little mental notes, and then I had mentors would tell me little things like.
Speaker 2:I'll give you one example. I had a partner when I first started my first business. We were selling steak and chicken door to door and we had these big vehicles that we wrapped and we had like cows hanging their arms out the windows. That looked like it was really cool. It's called Nebraska Meat Network. It's just this fun little meat business. We did Well the van to the that we used to ship the people out and everything to go sell. That day the back door didn't lock and I knew this.
Speaker 2:And so I was just randomly driving with my friend one night it was like 10 at night and it was the grocery store and I see the van. I said, hey, this will be funny, let's sneak in the back of the van and and then we'll scare him when he starts driving. You know, like nothing more horrifying than somebody in the back of your vehicle. But I just thought it'd be a funny prank on my business partner. And so we get in the back of the car, my buddy's like six to two 70s, a college baseball player, you know big dude. And in my business partners just driving off and you know he, all of a sudden I just kind of, you know, in the back of the van so that he looks and he sees I'm down so he can't see me. And my buddy's just sitting there like four rows back in the van and my business partner just looks at him and he's just staring and he didn't do anything, he's just staring. And finally I pop up.
Speaker 2:It's uncomfortable for us. I'm like what is going on? And I'm like Herman, it's me, it's Jimmy, and he's like oh okay, I'm like how are you not scared by this? What is wrong with you? Are you crazy? And he goes, Jimmy, when something goes wrong, everybody freaks out.
Speaker 2:He's like you have to stop and focus. What can I do? What? How do I get out of this? He's like you have a moment in between, like the original response of what happened and what you react, and he goes and that is everything You've got to really focus in that moment I'm like I just got the greatest lesson I didn't intend on getting and I've never forgot that he was just like a ninja in that moment. And so I think, just learning from other people's seeing, but to your point of, like the childhood trauma and everything like this will still happen to me all the time. We have triggers, everybody has triggers. We have things that are just going to upset us and I think, recognizing that trigger, just being able to recognize that you go, okay, this isn't me I'm reacting to like this is my inner child or this is like my insecurities or whatever else, and all of a sudden you just get out of that fight or flight mode. You know, you breathe a little bit and you can. You know people say like I was out of his mind or whatever it's because you literally are in the wrong part of your mind, you're in the wrong part of your brain. But if you can just breathe through that a second, just recognize, okay, this is what's going on, I'm in fight or flight, you're safe, like you're calm, what's reality? And then you get to make a better choice. Now I say that like it's easy to do, but you know, I'm sure most of the time I still, you know, on some level screw that up.
Speaker 2:I will give you one other example real quick. I was recently down in Lake Powell and I take my men's group down there with 50 of us, this houseboat trip, and there's this one beach up the canyon it's the best beach in the whole place and so we always parked there, so we parked our. We had two houseboats, so we parked the one, and then there's like five other houseboats on this beach and one of them is about 150, 150 feet away. It's really nice houseboat. Well, this, sometimes these storms have kicked in down there can, and they are gnarly we're talking like biblical right and I mean the rain is blowing sideways, and so I've got 40 dudes on the anchor lines.
Speaker 2:They started coming out and like we're trying to hold onto the boat and I'm in the boat trying to gas it, to keep it on the shore, and this guy comes running over from one of the other boats, a big Jack dude, and he's yelling, he's swearing at everybody, cause if our boat comes unhooked it's going to go flying into his 100 feet down the beach, right, so that's why he's so mad. So he's starts digging this hole and he's this big old dude, jack and after we kind of saved the boat and everything and he helped a lot for sure. And you know I get out there and, by the way, this is a men's group. I teach men how to have healthy masculinity. And so, like he gets out and this dude, he just starts f-bombing us for days and he's like who's in charge of this group? And then I go, jimmy is, and so I go over there and he's like you guys call yourself men, you don't even know how to anchor a boat. You're going to teach men how to be masculine and you don't even know how to be. Just going off.
Speaker 2:And any other version of me, any other era of my life, I would have totally just gone off on this guy, lost it, told him Pound Sand, right. But I knew, because I've done the work, ken, that's why I want to tell this part of the story that all those attacks had nothing to do with me. A couple of years ago I would have taken a person because I was still insecure about my own masculinity, my own manhood, like am I competent and should I be even doing this? And ultimately he started yelling and I just said hey, sir, very calm. I said hey, first off, I want to say thank you because I've watched how hard you dug holes to help us keep our boat on the beach and it wasn't lost on me. Secondly, I've been on this beach with some of the most masculine men on the earth and our boat flipped on its side Like. I don't think it has anything to do with our ability to you know, dig a hole of whether or not we're masculine, but thank you for your help and just totally diffusing.
Speaker 2:I had nowhere to go and my heart rate truly didn't go up 1%. Now I got 50 guys in their 20s that I'm coaching on how to be the best version of themselves. They just saw firsthand toxic versus healthy masculinity, right, and the guy didn't know what to do. He just walked off kind of stormed off and all my guys were like dude, how did you stay so calm? And I was like because it wasn't about me, I don't care what that guy says, I didn't want to ruin our day or whatever.
Speaker 2:He comes back an hour later, ken, and he's pretty emotional and he says hey, man, I'm so sorry. He's like I've been working on myself for all these years. I actually teach breath work, I teach yoga and I freaking, lost it on you guys. The exact opposite of what I should have done. Meanwhile, you're over here trying to improve your lives and work on each other. And he's like I just want to say thank you, and it was so cool. And instead of having this total fight, this guy apologizes and then the next day he comes back over again, ken, and he's really emotionally goes hey, I actually looked up your group last night. I see what you're doing for men, how you're helping them be vulnerable and authentic and get into integrity. He's like dude, I'm such a jackass, he's like I can't believe I reacted the way I did. I'm just so grateful that you didn't escalate it.
Speaker 2:And I said, dude, and he starts telling me his story. He said I was in and out of drugs and rehab. I was 50 pounds overweight and, keep in mind, he looked like the model of a healthy 50 year old man at this point. And he's telling me this whole story and how they had this transformation. And I said hey, you know what? We're having a couple of speakers fly down to talk to us here in a couple of minutes. Why don't you come over and just share your story with my group? He's like are you serious? I'm like, yeah, I'm dead serious.
Speaker 2:So I had his daughter come with him. He was 14 years old. He ends up teaching our group about his whole story and I told his daughter. I said I just want to tell you how grateful you should be to have a dad that's willing to own his mistakes and see to correct himself, because my dad was the same way. That's why I was trained in Navy SEAL style how to handle a man like that. Bye Afterwards he was so great. But we became really good friends. We're actually doing a podcast this week on my podcast.
Speaker 2:He owns he's one of the biggest home builders in Utah. It's this whole thing. But it became this beautiful story that people got to see. Then the next day I said hey, since you do yoga, do you want to lead us in yoga tomorrow? He's like sure. So we end up a day later on the beach 50 guys doing yoga with this guy and just having this incredible experience. But all this happened because I did the work to not let that be about me Any other part of my life 100 percent. I have a silver tongue. I would have destroyed this man. I would have done it for my ego. I would have done it just to be a dick. I would have done it just because I could. Instead, I just loved him enough to know that this dude's going through it. Because I honored him in that moment. We have this beautiful friendship that's for him now. That is really, just really cool.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, dude. Talk to me. That's an amazing thing because here you are in front of 50 men, you're teaching how to really operate and you're masking on a not be toxic. And you have an opportunity right there where literally you could have blown it or really taken it to the next level. And there's one thing teaching it. There's another thing living that out. Talk to me some about your business. What have been some experiences you've had? Because I love the whole and one of the things I've learned is respond versus react, and you mentioned that react just a minute ago is responding like really taking a step back and processing through. Ok, what is actually? I love what you said slowing down, getting the right part of your brain, taking some breath, work, I'm safe, everything's OK. Now let me make some rational decisions. Talk to me. I mean you built a hugely successful business and mentoring and coaching a lot of men. Talk to me about some of the experiences you've had in your business having to use those same tools. Sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, you know I for those that are familiar with my story, I mean for 17 years I was a real estate agent and became one of the top agents in the country. And you know I I had really good mentors Ken, like the best in the business Mike Ferry, tom Ferry, bill Pipes, bob Fitzgerald some of these dudes that are just legends as far as trainers and coaches go. And you know, my first full year in real estate without an assistant, I sold 60 houses and I just did that through pure grit and hustle and grinding and because I did that, it kind of opened the door for me to be around all these other people because they wanted to have me on their stages. I was 24 years old, 23 years old and so I got to really be around those amazing individuals. They taught me all these, all these things. But you know, a couple of things that I learned was number one is too often real estate agents especially I know you have that background as well but they focus on the result. They focus on the outcome of what's happening, you know, and it gets really emotional at that point. I mean so many real estate deals fall out of contract, so many things. I mean you have to sell every house three times, you know, to keep that thing alive. And if you're focused on, like, getting the deal done and that being the win or the celebration, then when something goes wrong it gets super stressful and you know you end up out of the business or you end up just being. You know you start getting commission breath. And so I always had my mentor always said you've got to focus on the control bowls. You control the controls. What do you get to do? We celebrate you making your calls for three hours. That's the win. It's not closing the deal. Celebrate going on the appointment. Celebrate doing the lead, follow up every single day, because when you make your contacts, you're going to have people to follow up with. When you follow up, you're going to have appointments to go on. When you go on the appointments, you'll have deals and you're going to have money coming in. And so I was.
Speaker 2:I remember one time I was out in Fenway Park. Actually, it was there in the playoffs. I'm a Cleveland Indians fan. They were playing the Red Sox. This is 2016.
Speaker 2:And I was getting lunch before the game, like in the stadium, and my loan officer called me. This loan officer I'd given him he used. He did about one out of every 10 deals for me and he's like dude, I screwed up, he did this thing wrong and my client that was going to close that day. It was about a $45,000 commission for me. It was a big, expensive home so I was really looking forward to this one. He screwed it up in the dude. He was going to postpone for like a week to close, but the dude in that week, once the deal didn't go through, he thought it was a sign from God. So he said you know, we're going to move to Jersey instead. And so not only did we not get the deal closed, I didn't get another deal from him either and I lost that deal.
Speaker 2:But I remember, just honest to God, it didn't affect my happiness level, even one Iota. And then you know contrast that with I sold a $32 million house, which was the most expensive home ever in Utah about a year after that. And both those days I had my emotions were on the same level because I never attached who I was as a realtor to the outcome that I was getting. Because the second you do, you start to get complacent, you start to get arrogant, you start to forget what you're doing. You start to treat people like a number as opposed to you know people, and so that's just.
Speaker 2:I got really good at just focusing on the things that I do. You know, my grandma turned 100 last year and her one piece of advice was like you know, pay attention to things you can control and don't worry about the rest. It's really true, it was like that's her one piece of advice and I feel like I just don't get caught up in things that don't control. I take care of me every day and one way or another, my life, you know, works, and so I think just having that much and you only learn that from real life experience Like you don't know how you react to that till it happens. But when those things happen and you're just like, okay, I guess it's part of the deal, obviously you learn the lesson. Make sure it doesn't repeat itself. You know, move forward. Sometimes you can't work with that loan office already more, but in that moment it was like, all right, well, I'm going to go watch the game and enjoy it and I guess we lost the deal, you know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:How did you learn that? I mean because that's not just something you go all right, you know what. I'm not going to tie my emotions to an outcome. That had to be. That had to be a discipline that you built and grew over a period of time Like walk us through how you got to that point.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I mean an advantage that I had at a young age was I got caught from the baseball team, for example, when I was 14 years old and it was like my life at the time. And then when I was 19, 20, 21, 22,. You know, from 19 to 21, I served a mission for my church and I got rejected all day. I mean, it was just part of the deal. But then 21, 22, 23, 24, those years I set up four or five businesses and it was interesting, ken, because they kind of worked but I didn't make any money. So, like I had a business assault steak and chicken door to door and we were crushing it but my business partner kind of stole all my money. So I ended up losing money on the adventure. I also had a Christmas like business. We made a little bit of money. I had a TV show that we were the most watched show on Sundays in Utah, but I lost money both years. I did it because I was just running so much money to try. I didn't know business right, but I had all these things that to me were failures. They failed, they were absolutely failed. I didn't make any money on them, but to the outside world.
Speaker 2:I got this little gift where everybody was seeing what I was doing and they're like, man, jimmy's just not afraid to go for it, jimmy's really going for it. So they were complimenting me on just the effort of doing it, which you don't usually get. Usually people reward you with stuff going great, but to them it was like so honorable that I was just trying to do these things at a young age. And I look back at, you know, the TV show. I was the host of it too, so I've, I've watched all the episodes. I'm like, oh my gosh, I was a child, like I had no business doing that, like somebody should have tackled me. But there was so much honor in that and I think I learned. I really learned by doing those things and seeing how people reacted. Even though they were failures quote unquote like they lost money.
Speaker 2:I was getting a lot of benefit of just seeing that people were honoring it. They could tell like, wow, this dude's really good for it, and so it just empowered me going forward in my life to just not worry about the outcome, not worry about the result. I truly enjoyed doing it and I saw, you know, with my TV show I lost a bunch of money on it, but I got to know every major business in town, all the entertainment places, all the big players, all the restaurants and so everywhere. For the next five years my life had these huge benefits ancillary benefits of, you know, connecting and networking and meeting all these top people. I was in rooms by age 26, 27. I had no business being in these rooms and I was always welcomed in because I just knew all these people and it really opened these doors. That blew the doors open on my life of who I could be around.
Speaker 1:So talk to me about your desire, then, to when did it, when did it shift from you, from real estate and making money and building a business and being an entrepreneur, to man? I want to take what I've learned and the skills that I have and I want to, I want to help reproduce this in young men.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so. So four years ago, I sold the most expensive home I've ever been in Utah, which I said it was $32 and a half million, made a seven figure commission in 20 minutes. I mean, it was really the easiest time and I just had this huge epiphany. Like you're done with this, I need to do something more impactful. I was in everyone in Utah realtor in Utah that year and you know, I think my team my last full year is I was realtor. We sold 497 homes. So this was like we were crushing it. I mean, money was flowing in, I was traveling the world doing all these amazing things, but I just felt like you need to do something that has more impact, and so I started playing with that a lot.
Speaker 2:I started, you know, doing thinking time and meditating and praying and trying to figure out what I was going to do next, and the same things kept popping up for me. The two things that people kept asking me was number one was Jimmy, how do I meet a group of friends like you have I really do have amazing friends Like I have some of the best friends in the world. And then the second thing was I feel like I'm stuck in life. You look like you're really, you know living your life, like how do I get out of this place? And so it hit me. I said you know, that's the thing that I do better than you in the world is like I know how to help men connect on a deeper level. That is my gift, like all my best friends met through me. I just have a unique ability to connect people and network them, and so they have deep, true relationships and friendships. And so I said that's what I'm going to do. And so I still kind of had a little bit of that imposter syndrome like well, who am I to teach this or whatever else, you know. But I just, you know, I just leaned into it and I said if I can help men, if, like the shortly after that, the pandemic and all that hit and I have this saying you know, god brings us together and the devil divides us. And I said, if nothing else, if I can connect people and I can help them feel loved you know, I lost two friends to suicide within the first two months of the pandemic and I was just like I'm not doing this. You know, I'm going to get people together, I'm going to be the guy. I'm going to be the biggest damn super spreader you've ever seen, because I just reject the idea that we need to be isolated.
Speaker 2:I just completely, on July 1st 2020, I threw my big firework event. I throw it every year for my clients and friends. I had 10,000 people there Can July 1st 2020, I might have been the biggest firework show in the country that year I dropped way too much money on it. It's just my thing, right. And there was grown men crying and because people felt normal for that first time and yeah, and so that was always my gift on a community builder, right.
Speaker 2:And so I was like, well, if nothing else, I mean, what is the value of a best friend? And I've been to so many masterminds I mean you know Irbans with you and I'm in the Avengers mastermind the 100 million. I mean Tony Robbins Platinum membership Like I've spent in the last year. I've spent a half a million dollars on masterminds events, conferences, seminars, coaching Like it's just my world, right, I want to Know it all. I want to be a part of them. Also, I've seen a lot of stuff that worked. I saw a lot of stuff that didn't work and so I just said, if I just take the best stuff that I've learned and put it all into this thing, and it helped teach men how to connect.
Speaker 2:What's the value of one best friend? What's the value of 10 best friends? You know, in my group there's 50 guys. In each group I have, I have 400 guys now that I coach, but I keep them in pods of 50 and they truly have become best friends, like all of them, you know, and that, to me, is the gift. But the ultimate gift you can give somebody is the gift of another best friend, and so it's my job to protect that container. It's my job to make sure that only people with the right intentions are around. It's my job to make sure that we stand in integrity and through doing that and then I just throw these crazy adventures in there I bring a lot of speakers and friends in. I've had people like Irwin and you know all the different people that you know speak at the big conference, have come in and speak to my guys and they love what we're doing. They can see the goodness in it, so they're happy to help me and do it, and so that's been a real game changer for just for everything that I've been doing.
Speaker 2:But that's that was really the reason I started it, and you know, I launched that first group. I was trying to get 50 guys and within eight hours I had 147 men apply to be in the group. And it's not cheap I mean, it's 18 grand a year per person and so I knew I was onto something, because in that moment I said, oh my gosh, men are dying for connection. They're dying to be able to have a place where they can. You know, it's okay not to completely be okay, where you can be a little bit more vulnerable and you can open up and express yourself better. And so that's where we are, the they was founded out of, and that's what I've been putting my full focus on the last two years.
Speaker 1:So tell me what are some of the things you've learned personally for you out of this, out of that whole experience, Cause you're pouring into guys, but what's God showing you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, something I've just learned just recently is you know, I think there's this false idea that eventually it gets easier, right?
Speaker 2:Like let's like get to this level or once I get to this thing. And life just has seasons to it, right, and we, when you're having a hard time, you're going through adversity you know we talked about a couple of things before the call with you it's just a season that you're in and I think understanding that like really makes relationships a lot easier to do. It makes just life in general. So I've learned now, like you know, everybody is going through something at all times and so all you can do is show up and no matter who you show up for it's going to make an impact because everybody's going through something. And you know I've learned that true change. You've got to have a support group, you've got to have accountability One of the things that I love that I learned through my guys.
Speaker 2:You know a lot of these guys had never really opened up about what was going on with them really.
Speaker 2:You know, maybe past sins they needed to cover they'd been covering up, they needed to, you know, kind of get out with their spouse or whoever it might be. And we don't trust the love we're getting when we're holding on to things like that, because we're shaming ourselves and we say to ourselves you know, if they knew who I really was, they wouldn't love me, love me, right and by being vulnerable, by opening up and talking about this and getting into integrity, you can trust the love that comes in, and so you kind of find your people that way, right, I mean, they always stick around, but if they don't, they weren't yours anyway, and so that's probably one of the most valuable things I've learned. Doing this is just that, like, vulnerability really is a superpower, because it's when we're most lovable, it's when we attract people to us for the right reasons, right, it's when we end up finding our tribe, and so that I think, above everything else, has been my favorite thing to learn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the authenticity. I heard Gary Brekka, who's a good friend of mine. He was spoke at. He's at every event that I do. I did an event in Vegas in October of 2021.
Speaker 1:And Gary spoke there with us and he talked about the frequency of authenticity and how the frequency of authenticity is the highest frequency we admit as human beings and it's emitted when we have a belief in a subject and a great, deep passion for a subject, and it's also the highest frequency that's sought after from other human beings. So, when you get around people and you really do live an authentic life and you are it's basically you're vulnerable, like your story that you tell is not a story of perfection, which in the and I think the one thing I love about you, dude, is in the Instagram world we live in it's like it's so refreshing and you're like like that's a breath of fresh air. Dude, talk about that, how you've been able to take that in you, that authenticity and really that transparency in the world that we live in now of the Instagram influencer, and really use that to be able to make a difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, back about 10 years ago I was coaching with my coach, melissa. At the time I was dating this girl and she went to Thailand to go do like a month's worth of like just community service or whatever you know, like help kids in orphanage or something. Every morning we would FaceTime at like. It was like five in the morning where I lived, and one of the days I woke up she was like hey, I just want you to know like I don't really love you, I just like talking to you and like having somebody while I'm out here. It was like kind of broke my heart, you know, and just kind of devastated me. She's like I'm not really I don't see you as like a long-term option, though I was like oh, and I was pretty devastated. I really liked her, she's going to be the one and I went out and I ended up randomly hooking up with a couple of girls, which was, you know, obviously not the best choice of things I could have done, but I remember I called my coach and I was so used to being living in a world with my religious background where you really got punished, a lot Like if you did something bad, like you couldn't take the sacrament for months or a year.
Speaker 2:You had to, you know, you couldn't go into the temple, you couldn't do certain things. So I was used to like, oh boy, here comes that conversation about to get my ass handed to me, you know, and and I didn't even want to tell her what had happened because I was embarrassed about it. And I told her, you know, this is what this girl said, this is what I did, and fully expecting her to just kind of jump me, you know, just get really upset at me. And she was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could give you a hug, I wish I was there. And I was like, wait, that's, that's not how the conversation is supposed to go. And she's like, no, she's like obviously not the best decision making you could have done. I imagine you had a broken heart and you know, and it was like she made sure I wasn't like. You know, I didn't. These were just random women I met out at a bar or whatever else. It was like you know, and and in that moment I realized, you know, it was like the first time I think I really understood that like wow, like I'm not a bad person. I might have done a bad thing, but I'm a good person. I know my heart and she saw that and so, by being vulnerable, I felt that and she's the one that told me. She said, jimmy, you're most lovable when you're vulnerable, authentic and in integrity, and so try to do it.
Speaker 2:So shortly after that, I had an opportunity. I was up at this cabin in Bar Lake, utah. There's about 10 of us there and I was there to kind of help upsell the package of the lady that was hosting this event and and we all got super vulnerable. Everybody was telling their story and there was this I remember this beautiful woman there and kind of was crushing on her little bit and she told her story and it was crazy. It was like this crazy story, she's balling and I'm balling, we're all balling, and I was like, oh my gosh, and I'm connecting on a level that I'm just not familiar with.
Speaker 2:And I remember, like my whole twenties can everybody thought I was just like had everything put together because I had so much going. And I was. I mean, I was the number one agent in this. The county is not the state. I mean I really, for a 20 year old, I was doing a lot of things right, but I did have this underwhelming like shame about who I was, or like what I wasn't doing, and I'd never really talked about it with anybody. I hadn't talked about it with anybody.
Speaker 2:I remember being there was that they were all kind of strangers to me. So I was like you know what, I don't know these people anyway, maybe I'm going to share it, maybe I should share it. And so I opened up and really shared like my insecurities and my fears. I'd never done that. And I was balling and they were all balling. And next thing I know I am like feeling connected to these random strangers as much as anybody I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 2:And that was the first day I realized that vulnerability was a superpower. So you said how did you develop this? Well, it's like I just kind of dared enough. You know, until we have competency, we have to have courage, we have to just believe that this thing's going to work. And then, once you do it, you're like wow, that was really nice, I want to do that more often. So then you keep doing it. Then all of a sudden, you have confidence in it. So then it's like oh, this really is a superpower and like I still don't tell like the wrong things or the wrong people. But you know, if you do follow me on Instagram, it's the favorite thing that I get told when I am speaking is people say this guy's real, like this dude's. Just, he's just being real and I learned that because I got rewarded for doing it when it took all my courage to do it that first time, when I didn't want to.
Speaker 1:What would you say to somebody who's listening to this right now? And they're like man. It's hard for me to be authentic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is if you're not in a safe container. So you've got to get around people that you can trust, like that's why my men's group works, so that's why what you do is so powerful, ken. It's like if I can create a situation where you feel safe, you're dying to share it. And so you got to start asking yourself better questions like who am I around? Do I truly feel safe with them? If they had you know, if they knew things about me that weren't pretty, would they ever use them against me? And if you even have to question that, you probably shouldn't share it right, like you've got to be around people that you know have you, that have your back, that are going to have your best interest in mind, and when you are, you'll want to do it. And so I think, more than anything, it's starting to search to be around better people, to be around better environments, places where you feel safe, things like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do you? What would you say to somebody that says okay, man, I've been looking. It's hard for me to find those kind of relationships.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean I'm selfishly give a plug for my group. It's the number one place I've ever met. That does it. You know, check us out. We are the big yeah, honest to God Like that's why we've grown so fast. But you can kind of start asking questions, like you start looking a bag.
Speaker 2:What does make a good friend? Like what truly? I have a book coming out in February called B1 and it comes from the Marcus earlier. This quote waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be, b1. And there's a whole chapter in there where I talk about you know finding good friends and what that looks like.
Speaker 2:But you truly want to be around people that just make your life better. You know they've got you, they know they care about you and you do that. There's an old saying whatever you want more of, give it away. So if you want better friends, just be a great friend. Like, start being an amazing friend of people, right? If you're a good friend to enough people, you're going to attract other good people. You're going to find your good friends. You'll have some that you're like oh, turns out that person wasn't such a good friend. But you'll find your real friends and you'll be able to. Next thing you know you're like I can't believe the quality and caliber of people I get to be surrounded by. But you get that by giving that away. Be the thing you want to receive and it'll find you in your life.
Speaker 1:Dude, I love it. Man. The people ask me all the time how in the world do you get around the people you get around, how do you have the people that you have speak at your events and your mastermind on your text thread? And I just tell them you know, great leaders want something for people, not from people. Beautiful, it's really not about me, man. I really am an individual and you are too. That's why you know we connected so easily and so quickly. You really do want something for people, and which is which leans into my favorite zig ziggler quote by helping up people, get what they want. Eventually I'm going to get what I want. Yeah, and the bank account, don't matter how many commas or zeros, cannot equal the level of fulfillment you get at night when you lay your head down on a pillow, and it's just you and God, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, it's most people. I teach that principle. I teach networking as much as anything when I speak and stuff and people can't help themselves. Like I tell them that principle Like you have to truly give, not expecting anything in return. But if you don't truly expect nothing in return, a, all pin in life comes from unmet expectations, so you're just going to be disappointed. But B, it's energetic and people can feel that on you, you know, and people will be like, oh, I got something for you. If you need windows, you know I have a window place. I'm like that's not for me, that's for you. Like give, expecting nothing in return, and the doors will just plow open for you.
Speaker 2:You know I got friends that you only have to have three or four really connected friends to meet everybody that you want to in this world. Can you know this? And I've asked a few of them because I have one friend in particular. He's connected me to so many amazing humans. He recently connected me to somebody that connected me to Jerry West for my podcast, and Johnny Manziel, some of these amazing people that I've been able to have on, and I asked him one time. I said, man, you're always helping me, you're always going out of your way to like make sure that I you know I'm just getting connected and stuff. I said thank you for doing that. He said, jimmy, you're one of the few humans I've ever met that just truly shows up for himself in every single way. You do what you say you're going to do. You've always made me look good. You're always pouring back into me.
Speaker 2:He has two business partners that have changed his life Now. He met him both through me, well, after he'd already poured into me multiple times and so like he just was one of those guys. That gets that principle. But if I would have had an expectation, or if he would have had an expectation, he might have blown the relationship with me well before. I could have introduced him to these friends when they came into my life at the right time to introduce to him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love that dude. Jimmy, what's the best place for people to connect with you, my friend?
Speaker 2:Yeah, my Instagram is the best. It's MrJimmyRex and you know, every time I'm doing stuff, I post it on there. That's where you can sign up if you're interested in my program or just want to look, learn more about it. And I'm just trying to make content to make people's lives better, man, just always trying to pour into them, and so if there's any way I can ever serve you, if you're listening to this, send me a message and I do answer all my own DMs and happy to help. Anyway, I can.
Speaker 1:I love it, dude man. I love your heart, dude, and I'm glad we got connected. Man, I love what you're doing. You just remind me of a younger version of myself with better looking hair.
Speaker 2:They can do some amazing things nowadays. So I know right, and no man. That's why I say like I feel so blessed to be around these people. I have no business being in the room, but you know you earn that through creating value and that's you know, as I honor all you guys and people like yourself that have helped, you know guys like me be able to get these situations. So thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, guys, thank you for joining us on another episode of as the leader grows and my good friend, jimmy Rex. Guys, go following Mr Jimmy Rex on Instagram, check him out. Everything he does, guys, is amazing. Again, in this influencer world we live in, man, people are starving for authenticity, and that's what you get from my friend right here. And, as always, if this episode is added value, I'm going to ask you to do me a favor. Hit that subscribe button, leave us a five star review, snap a screenshot of this podcast, share it over on Instagram, tag me, tag Jimmy. We'd love to be able to give you some love in front of our audience and again, see you next time on as the leader grows.