As The Leader Grows with Ken Joslin

Coaching with Ken | Creating an Unbreakable Code

• Ken Joslin

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Ever found yourself pondering the moral compass that guides you through life's toughest storms? Join me, Ken Joslin, as I recount a holiday season that was anything but typical—alone, entrusted with a friend's most precious relationship, sparking a journey into the significance of our personal principles. It's a deep dive into trust, honor, and the unwritten codes that not only shape who we are, but how we are seen by the world. As we prepare to tackle 2024 with vigor, let's explore the resilience it takes to dream afresh and the personal growth it entails—because the year's hardships are merely stepping stones to becoming the very best versions of ourselves.

This episode isn't just about the challenges; it's about action—the kind that leaves you a little breathless, be it from a frigid plunge or a nerve-wracking business proposal. I'll share stories of seizing the moment, keeping promises, and that relentless drive that fuels success. And while we're at it, let's not forget the power of love. I believe leading with the heart is non-negotiable, part of my 'unbreakable code', and I'm excited to show how these emotional connections can become our greatest strength. Tune in, as we lay the foundations for our own codes—I guarantee you'll leave inspired to construct an armor of principles uniquely your own.

Welcome to the ATLG podcast I am your host Ken Joslin, former pastor turned coach & host of CREATE, the #1 Faith-based Entrepreneur conference in America. My mission is to help faith-based entrepreneurs become the best version of themselves by growing in our Core 5: Faith, Health, Relationships, Business & Finances. You can get more information as well as join our FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/676347099851525

If you enjoyed the podcast, come join our FREE GSD Community of hundreds of entrepreneurs & a ton of FREE Content including CREATE Conference recordings with Ken, John Maxwell, Gary Brecka, Ed Mylett & more. growstackdrive.com/free

Speaker 1:

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of as the Leader Grows. I am your host, ken Jocelyn, and I'm super excited to bring this episode of Coaching With Ken to you guys today as we start a brand new 2024. And I wanna talk to you today about how to establish, create, build an unbreakable code. See, a code is a set of principles that are designed, accepted and put in use by an individual or a group of people. And so over Christmas holidays I spent about five or six days by myself, literally. I had my girls the day before Christmas Eve here in Birmingham. I drove over to my best friend's house in Atlanta, spent the day before Christmas Eve with his family. They all left Christmas Eve, so I was alone, christmas Eve, christmas day, in the next four or five days, literally with myself, to kind of ponder and think through not only 2024 upcoming, but 2023. What happened, how did I grow, what did I learn and really what does 2024 look like and what are the things that God's put in my heart to be able to accomplish?

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So I'm sitting there one day and I get a text message from my best friend's girlfriend and she goes hey, ken, me and a couple of friends, we're gonna go out tonight. Would you take us? You wanna come hang out with us? I said, great, that'll be fine. So we go to my favorite Speak Easy in Alpharetta. It's called Roring Social. It's where I host a lot of my events for our Create Conference. It's my favorite Speak Easy in place in the country. And so we go there. We're sitting there and we're just kind of hanging out. There's a band playing, a lot of people there I think it was the Wednesday or Thursday between Christmas and New Year's and I get a text and I look down on my phone and it's my best friend, nate, and I look and he says hey, make sure you take care of my girl.

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And I texted back and I said I got you. And so I'm different guys. I'm not like normal people where they go to the club and they're sitting there or they're speaking easy, whatever you wanna call it. And then we're just sitting there kind of hanging out. It's me, her, one of her friends, and then Kevin, another one of Nate and I's friends, and we're all hanging out. We're just sitting there talking.

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My brain starts processing through the text that I got from Nate hey, take care of my girl. And the moment I texted back and I said I got you. My wheels started turning. Now I'm sitting there and we're having a conversation and there's I don't know a couple hundred people in this place and the owners have always been super kind to me and we've got our own special VIP section. We're sitting there just kind of hanging out and having fun and enjoying and talking about the new year and talking about everything that we wanna accomplish and talking about how amazing 2023 was.

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And I'm sitting there and my wheels are spinning and I'm thinking what kind of a man Trust another man, or even what kind of man is trusted by his friend to watch after his girlfriend when he's out of town? And I just thought to myself I'm like we live by a code, like we literally live by something that's different. It is defined. When I got that text from Nate, I'm sitting there and I'm looking at it and he goes we take care of my girl tonight I said you better believe I will and I'm watching out for her. And it was like I had this duty or this honor to watch after Nate's girl. Make sure she had a good time. Her friend had a great time, kevin had a great time and I was kind of like the person in charge of making sure everybody had a good time, but everybody got home at the other night okay as well.

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And I'm just sitting there and I'm thinking through for about a solid hour about the word code. Again, a code is a set of principles that are designed Like. We create this code that we wanna live by. They're designed, they're adopted, and then it's a set of standards that we live our life by. And I'm processing through this and I'm like number one. I felt honored that my friend would trust me with his girlfriend, to be out with her and to make sure she was safe, make sure she had a great time, make sure she got home okay, and trust me to be able to do that while he was out of town. And then I just started thinking and processing through about okay, ken, what kind of a man do you want to be known for at the end of 2024? And here we were.

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We were several days away from 2024, but I'm already processing through and thinking through the things that I know God had put in my heart. And I'm literally sitting at Roaring Social in Alpharetta the coolest speak easy in the country and I'm on my phone on this Google Sheet that I'm looking at right now and I'm taking notes and I'm literally thinking about this unbreakable code and I'm processing through, really, the battle cry that God had given me for 2024, which is dream again, like don't let 2023, and if you had some rough moments, which I did, I had probably the roughest 60, 90 day patch this summer, early fall that I probably have in 25 to 30 years. It was a very, very difficult, rough patch and those of you guys that listen to our podcast, you understand that I've been very, very open and transparent about what happened in my life. But God just said don't let 2023 rob you of 2024, dream again. So I'm thinking about all these things and this vision and the dream and all the things that God's put in my heart, and as I'm thinking about this, I'm processing through this code that is just swirling around in my heart Like what does this code look like? What is this set of standards and principles that I want to set for myself to live by, so that at the end of 2024, when I look up, I have become the man that I want to become, because I understand that if I want to fulfill all these things I write down on my plan are two times a day, the goals for a real estate company, for GSD, my personal goals. If I want to fulfill all the things, make the impact, the legacy. They have, the influence that I want to have and help other people become the best version of themselves, that I've got to raise my standard and live by a code.

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Guys, there's a price for greatness. There is a price for greatness. I've shown my before and after picture a lot over the past few weeks and for those of you guys that are seeing the updated one, I mean it's like 85, 86 pounds. I'm down and like I look from shoulders up, I look like a completely different human being. Some people don't even realize it's me. When they say it, they're like I love you. They say it they're like literally every other person goes. There's no way that's you. I'm like dude, I promise you that is me. But there is a price for greatness. Like greatness just doesn't come to you. There is a price to pay, which is why I developed what I believe is the unbreakable code, a set of standards for me to live by, maybe even for you to emulate.

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You listen to the podcast today and you're like okay, I get it. I want to be able to live by a code. So what does that code look like for me? And I want to share some notes with you that I've written down. I've spent the last three or four months processing through some pretty difficult and tragic moments lost six figures, almost multiple six figures. In an event. One of my best friends turned out to be a scammer. I found the woman that I had moved 2600 miles away to potentially be in relationship partnership and eventually get married. I found her in bed with her ex-boyfriend one Monday morning and so coming out of that was okay. Can you need to take some time?

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And I have, for the last 90 to 120 days, really focused on me and one of the things that I wrote down in this 2024 code, and I'm just going to share some of my notes with you today. Jot them, steal them, take them, whatever you feel like you need to do, because I know in my heart what God has put in me to be able to accomplish by the end of 2024, I'm going to have to become a different man. I am going to have to become a different human being in order to fulfill the things that God's put in my heart. So the whole 2024 code, for me the unbreakable code, is about mastery. It's about calmness and awareness. It's about calmness and awareness and awareness. And I'm going to give you some different. I'm going to give you four different areas in my life of awareness and I want to break these things down.

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Number one awareness in my energy. What does my energy look like? Where is my energy going? Awareness in my language. So one of the things you guys know me I don't cuss a lot but every now and then I'll let an F bomb fly and even especially I know for some of you guys that love Jesus, you're like how can you do that? Listen, one of the things for me in 2024 was an awareness on my language Because I just got through, as I mentioned coming through that season, I listened to four different books.

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I literally just finished today the Way of the Superior man by David Data, for the third time in the last month. I literally have been processing through that book for a month, understanding that self control really is mastery and to be aware of my energy, to be aware of my language and not just profanity. But I said you know what, ken, you're not going to drop any F bombs. You're not going to curse, you're not going to speak death, you're going to speak life, like if it comes out of your mouth, you are going to be aware of what it is. What Jesus says in Matthew 25,. It says out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So for me it's an awareness of what's going on in my spirit and what's coming out of my mouth.

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Third thing is my focus. Where is my focus and am I aware of my focus? And I always go back to my second affirmation, which is I will live a life where my heart, head and relationships are in alignment. Because when my heart, my head and my relationships are in alignment, my heart is where I dream, my head is where I believe and oftentimes, guys, our head is where everything stops. Because our heart can paint this picture, it can see the dream, it can feel the dream. I mean literally like it's so real that if you just keep doing what you're doing, it's going to come to pass. And what happens is it gets stuck in our limiting belief systems, in our mindset, and we don't ever see those things come to pass. So I will live a life where my heart, head and then my relationships are in alignment. So where is my focus?

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And then, on my awareness, I'm aware of my sexual desires. There's something I learned out of the way of the superior man. It is some of these areas energy, language, focus and sexual desires, like all of these things speak to the mastery of who I am, or who you are, at the core of being a man. And if you're a woman, obviously these things, these things pertain to you as well. This today is probably because it's coming from me and I am a man, probably speaking more into men than anything else, because I really believe that the majority of men need to take their place and step up as leaders in a brand new way. So my code for myself this year is self control, and self control, understanding is mastery. So, awareness in my energy, awareness in my language what am I saying? Awareness in my focus, like, literally, I'm not going to give myself time. I'm not going to give myself time to focus on something other than the amazing things that God's put in my heart, all the dreams and the visions that God's given me for 2024, the impact, the influence, the life change that God has put in front of me to be able to bring to other people. Those things will be my focus, and then, obviously, my sexual desires. Like what does that look like? So that is my self-control component.

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Another one is for me to expect greatness. Everything I do. My code is to expect greatness to come out of me. I mean literally, like if I do something, I'm going to do it at such a high level of excellence that when people see it, they notice that the level of excellence is different than they've ever seen before, like doing it at such a level that it causes people to stop and take notice of what you're doing. Do you expect greatness out of yourself? Do you expect greatness out of yourself? Do you expect a level of excellence that's so high that it would belong in the boardroom of Nike or in the boardroom of Home Depot or in the boardroom of some Fortune 50 company or Fortune Top 10 Fortune company? Do you live with a code of excellence in your life? Like let me ask you this question this is a crazy question for you today what's the inside of your car look like today? I will never forget.

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One of my good friends, blaine, told me this. He said he used to fly around. He was one of the top youth pastors in the country 20 plus years ago. Over 2,000 kids, 1,500, 2,000 kids in his youth ministry. And I never forget when I heard him say this the first time. He said when I would fly into a different state to speak at a church or speak at a huge youth conference with thousands of kids. Whenever the student pastor, youth pastor, picked me up as soon as I got in his car, I could tell what his life looked like. You know, like Ken, what do you mean? He said if his car was a wreck, his life was a wreck. Listen, you won't get in my car and it not look spotless. You won't walk in my house and it not look spotless. You're like Ken, I don't have OCD. I don't have OCD either. I have C-D-O because that's an alphabetical order. Like, if you walk in my closet, my coat hangers are straightened up. Like my stuff is buttoned up and organized. Do you walk in and expect that level of greatness and excellence from your life? Can people look at what you do? Can they look at your videos? Can they look at your social media? Can they look at your website and go? This is excellent. Like there is something excellence brings a transition and allows somebody to transition into your, into your presence, into your aura, into your business and be comfortable in that transition and go man, they're doing things right, so expecting greatness.

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The third thing and this has been one of the big ones for me lean into the uncomfortable immediately. Lean into the uncomfortable immediately. How many of you guys have put off or tend to put off things that are uncomfortable? Listen, every single one of us. No one likes uncomfortable. Lean into the uncomfortable immediately.

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I'm sitting at the pool. Last week I'm in Costa Rica and there was a lot of people on the hot tub or sitting there and I'm like in the pool water because it was like 74, 75 degrees Pool water was pretty cold. It wasn't cold, plunge cold like Gary Breca cold or snow room. I was with with Gary and Cole a couple of weeks ago in Vegas, but it was freezing, it was really cold. And I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go get the hot tub for a little bit and then I'm gonna go jump in the pool. And so one of the guys at the hot tub goes, hey, are you gonna go get in the pool? And I'm like, yeah, I'll probably go in just a minute. And he's like dude, I thought you said you were and immediately Lean into the uncomfortable. Immediately that popped right in my head. I hopped up out of the hot tub. I Walked over, dried my, dried my, my sandals off, put them by my and dove straight. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't waddle in the pool, I didn't put a toe in to check. I literally dove head first into that freezing pool.

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Always lean into the uncomfortable Immediately, and I'm talking about little things like do you need to take the trash out? Do you have things that you've got to do around the house? Are there things that your spouse or your partner have asked you to do and you said y'all get to it, but you don't get to it? Do you keep your word? Do you keep your word? Can your spouse trust you when she says hey, babe, can you take trash out? Yeah, I got it. Hey, babe, can you clean the garage on Saturday? Yes, ma'am, I got it. Hey, can you do this for me? Can you get a gallon of milk on the way home? Yes, ma'am, I got it. And not get home and she goes Where's my milk? Oh man, you, just, I forgot it. I've had a long day About. No, do you keep your word? Do you lean into the uncomfortable immediately.

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I'll never forget the second day after I did this. I mean, I'm in Atlanta and I was out to the gym. It was cold, it was dark outside, I had shorts, t-shirt, and it had went from like 55 60 down to about 32 degrees and I'm driving in my gas light pops on in my car and I'm like, okay, I got to go get gas. And I'm like, no, I'm gonna wait till tomorrow, till I have some sweats on or a hoodie on or something Maybe it's a little bit warmer and immediately again Lean into the uncomfortable immediately popped in my head. The moment it did, I grabbed my wallet, I pulled into the gas station a quick trip and I put gas on my car. Do you lean into the uncomfortable immediately? And for me, guys and I'm gonna be super honest with you guys Some of the things that are have always been I don't know why limited belief.

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Some of the things that have always been difficult for me are asking for the sale. I get people right to the edge and it's like, for some reason, I'm, I have this block of asking people hey, how would you like to pay for that day? V semester card, america Express or would you like to a ch draft. That to me. How do you, how do you want to take care of that today? So that's one of the things and leaning the uncomfortable immediately always ask for the sale. Be aggressive, do not wait.

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It's funny because I had somebody call me last week. I had two calls this week. One guy called me and he goes hey, I want to get two CEO tickets. I said, great, here's what I can do for you. Guys have been in my community forever for our create conference in March and I said he said, hey, I'm gonna split it up. Can I split it up into these three payments? Several thousand dollars each time for the next, like three weeks Each week for three weeks for three payments to get this thing knocked out. And he was like get, send me the invoice and I'll pay it. And immediately again, leaning into the uncomfortable immediately came to my mind. I got done. I emailed him the thing in. About 30 seconds later I called him back and I said hey, do you want to put this on the credit card that I have on file? He goes yes, I went ahead and knocked it out right there on the spot, otherwise it wasn't done.

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Be aggressive when it comes to Leaning into the uncomfortable and do it immediately. Do not wait, train yourself, train who you are at the core to go to the uncomfortable, train who you are at the core, to lean into things that you do not want to do. Why? Because it helps sharpen your edge. Proverbs 27 17 says as iron sharpens, iron show up, so a brother Sharpens the countenance of a friend, like literally leaning into relationships, leaning into things that you don't want to do, so that you can be sharp.

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And the last one is this love heart, love hard, just love yourself first, love hard. One of my really good friends says ken, did you always Lead with your heart? And a lot of times it gets me in trouble because I do lead with my heart, I do love people, I do believe the best for people. But he said, he said, can you love hard, man? He goes, I, he goes. I wish I could love the way that you love. And so this year one of my, one of my, my, my components for my, my unbreakable code is to love hard. But just love ken first, because, if I I've understood this through this process over the past two years of walking through therapy and healing, especially the last six months. I have to love me first, otherwise I cheat the people that God's put in my life, that he wants me to influence and help become the best version of themselves.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to hop on here next week and I'm going to talk about why the code, what is the importance of what's at stake? What does that look like? So 2024, unbreakable code for me, and let me share this a couple things for me that I put in. On the self control as mastery January is is a dry month for me. Like I made a commitment to myself, didn't talk to anybody about it, I'm like, nope, january is going to be a dry month. January is going to be a month I connect with 21 days of prayer at my church. It's going to be a month where there's some certain things for me, physically, that I do and I don't do, but I I literally want to be able to Be or have mastery when it comes to calmness, self control and awareness in my life.

Speaker 1:

Guys, I hope this episode of as the leader grows has helped you today. If it has, do me a favor, would you go over and leave us a five star review? Also Subscribe, hit a screenshot while you're listening to this if you'll share it on your instagram page, I will tag, tag me and I'll go ahead and show that on mine and give you some love as well. But, guys, again, thank you so much for joining me on as the leader grows, coaching with Ken, as we talk about building and creating an unbreakable code so you can become the man or the woman that God needs you to be to fulfill everything that he's called you to fulfill. I'll see you next week.