As The Leader Grows with Ken Joslin

Bigg Vinny | My Journey of Redemption and Resilience

• Ken Joslin

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Imagine carrying the weight of a troubled past, then transforming it into a symphony of success and redemption—this is the melody of Bigg Vinny's life. In our latest podcast, Vinny, a country music artist and "The Biggest Loser" alumnus, shares his journey from a childhood marred by abuse and adversity to standing on stage with the likes of Toby Keith. His candid revelations about the respect and loyalty cultivated by Toby Keith, his monumental health scare, and the subsequent battle for a healthier life weave a narrative that resonates with the power of forgiveness and the relentless pursuit of personal growth.

Strap in for an emotional ride through the darkest tunnels of family trauma to the luminous path of forgiveness and self-discovery. Our discussion with Bigg Vinny probes the complex dynamics of a home broken by neglect and substance abuse, his decision to step away from pain towards a life of meaning, and the challenges of maintaining his health transformation. Vinny's story isn't just about shedding pounds; it's about shedding the past and emerging with a fortified sense of self, inspiring anyone who hears it to believe in the possibility of profound change.

Tune in and witness how the echoes of a mother's sacrifice and the quest for a loving foundation can ripple through time, prompting deep introspection and heartfelt reconciliation. Vinny's reflection on the loving yet tumultuous relationship with his mother, her struggles, and the spirit of resilience she imparted, stirs a profound understanding of life's true riches. Through this intimate conversation, we capture the essence of a life not just lived, but transformed, offering listeners a soul-stirring testament to the enduring human spirit.

Welcome to the ATLG podcast I am your host Ken Joslin, former pastor turned coach & host of CREATE, the #1 Faith-based Entrepreneur conference in America. My mission is to help faith-based entrepreneurs become the best version of themselves by growing in our Core 5: Faith, Health, Relationships, Business & Finances. You can get more information as well as join our FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/676347099851525

If you enjoyed the podcast, come join our FREE GSD Community of hundreds of entrepreneurs & a ton of FREE Content including CREATE Conference recordings with Ken, John Maxwell, Gary Brecka, Ed Mylett & more. growstackdrive.com/free

Speaker 1:

Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome to another episode of as the Leader Grows, I've got Big Vinny with me today, guys, this dude is unbelievable. Signed with Toby Keith when he was 22 years old country music artist, this guy's an auctioneer biggest loser finalist. He has an unbelievable passion for music. He spent some time with us at Create this Year. Big Vinny, what's up, bro? What's going?

Speaker 2:

on.

Speaker 1:

And he's over here.

Speaker 2:

I'm just happy to be in your world walking around for a little bit.

Speaker 1:

Come on, man, I guess I'm sitting down at your table basically. And he's over here talking about 150 pound dumbbell chest press when he knows I just did hundreds for the first time. I'm like really, I thought you were joking with me, bro, I'm like, I'll weigh you by a hundred pounds, so it's okay.

Speaker 1:

I know, but still, 150s ain't no joke right there, bro, that's not a joke at all. We do tell our audience, real quick, a little bit more about you, vinny, and what you've got going on a little bit of your backstory and then we're going to jump into your life, bro.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, I had a very hardcore childhood, a lot of people you know a lot of people going through the same things I went through. But it was my, my journey and a lot of times people ask me you know if you could?

Speaker 2:

go back and change things. My stepdad was severely abusive. My mom tried to commit suicide probably 20 times in my life. You know, it was a lot to go into as a kid and I had six brothers and three sisters, which half of those were step. My mom was married five or six times. Well, I guess legally married five, four times and then two other times not legally married. Anyway, I think the limit in Tennessee is seven.

Speaker 2:

But you know, honestly, it's like I wouldn't change anything because, man, I love my life, I love my wife, I love my kids. I feel very blessed to have the life I am and I don't know if I changed. You know, if I went back and changed and that would have led me to the same place that I went to, would I have had that drive that you know that I had to go and get that record to at 22 years old. Would I have had that drive to fight back from being 500 pounds and top two diabetic and kidneys failing on me and all the other stuff that was happening whenever I was 27? Would I have had the fight in me to go back and make something better in my life? The doctor looked at me and said, hey, you're not going to make it to 30. And I was just like, nah, we ain't gonna let that be the end of my story.

Speaker 2:

And I was able to go on biggest loser lost over 200 pounds and you know now kept it off now for gosh 13 years. And you know, just excited now I mean I'm putting out music on my own. My band, trailer choir, was who Toby Keith signed, and Toby was my biggest mentor, mentor in the music world. Uh, one of the best human beings I ever met. You know he was a quiet guy and more reserved, so a lot of people never knew how to take him because you know, he had that very like dry sense of humor, whereas me I'm like, hey guys, what's going on? I'm kind of like a big old, you know if Barney, if Barney was a human, I'd be.

Speaker 2:

it'd be me so um well, you're not purple.

Speaker 1:

Hey, let me. Let me back up real quick. I want to ask just a couple of things. I want to ask A couple of questions already out of your story that I want our audience to be able to hear. Toby Keith just passed away in the last few months. I know he was huge in your life. What are a couple of the things that you learned from him, and maybe some principles that you learned from him that you could share with our audience today?

Speaker 2:

I think one of the number one things I learned from Toby is just how to treat people, the way that you watch that. His crew, his staff, his band, all those people. They loved him and they would go to war for him because he gave them this ownership mentality. He paid them the right way, he took care of them the right way. Every single person. You know, whenever Toby had his catering, every single person, from the local stage hand that was climbing and hanging up the lights to the highest of to him, you know all the way to him. Everybody ate at the same table. Everybody had the same, you know the same foods. Every single day. He fed a steak you had a steak, a fish or a bird at every single meal, except for breakfast. Breakfast was breakfast foods, but he took care of everybody. He made sure everybody was well fed, they were well taken care of. He didn't look down on anybody. So the way Toby kind of lived life is, you know he would give you his respect and his love and whatever it was yours to either have it or lose it, and you know a lot of people lost it.

Speaker 2:

I watched him do some things. He would always kind of set up people to either win or lose his favor. And you know, whenever he did it, you know it was his way of knowing who do I want to keep around, who do I not want to keep around? And I think, just for me, the way he treated people, the way I saw him, you know his people love him and his employees, like I said, or his, his band members, I wanted to always be like that, I wanted to be the guy, that man. When people leave off of the road with me, they feel like man. That guy really took care of me and that makes them want to come back. And that's the reason. You know, you'll see, you know he's, he was a living legend, but now obviously he's passed on. He'll, he's just legendary. And all those people that were, you know, part of his life, you know they would. They would stand up and fight to the end for him.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, I love that Talk talk to me real quick, so obviously went in. I was right at about 500 pounds in February of 2011. And this was before I auditioned for the show. And I ended up in the hospital on Super Bowl Sunday when the Steelers were playing the Packers, and I found out I had cellulitis in my leg, which was caused from my blood sugar being over 500 for an extended period of time, and two days later I would have lost my leg. So luckily I got that thing taken care of.

Speaker 2:

And while I was there I got a call from an ex-girlfriend of mine named Dana DeSilvio. She was hey, they're auditioning for people for Biggest Loser. She had no clue I was in the hospital or that I was going through any of this. She was. I really think you should audition for the show. I think they would love you and I'm like I don't want that stupid show. They just make fun of fat people, you know.

Speaker 2:

And then, sure enough, you know, I kind of went back around and I ended up going and being you know on the show and all that kind of stuff, and when I got there I thought I was really going because I thought it would make me more famous. That was my idea behind it and I got out there and God revealed to me. While I was out there, he was like hey, you idiot. You ain't out here to be more famous. You're out here because you ain't going to make it to 30. You're out here because you ain't going to make it through the life that I have planned for you if you don't start changing your ways.

Speaker 2:

See, so many times we think that God chooses what happens in our life, but we have free will and I realized that man I couldn't be.

Speaker 2:

I was like Jonah in the well. Only, instead of getting swallowed by the well, I became the well, you know, and if I was running from what God truly had for me to go do by not doing what he was asking me, then that's what it was. But while I was out there, I realized I needed to forgive my mom. I realized that all this childhood trauma and the way I fed my sadness and my inside was by going and succeeding at things. Because when I worked at Sonic, when I was in high school all-state powerlifter, all-state football player, Whenever I worked at Sonic Drive-In, I went to the Dr Pepper Games and placed number three in the entire world in Sonic, which is funny to say that when I come to music, by the time I was 22, I got a record deal with Toby Keith. I would just keep accomplishing things, and I realized that that was my way of trying to tell myself I was good enough.

Speaker 2:

Because every time I did something I wanted to look at people and say I told you so, I told you so, I told you so. But while I was on the show it really changed my outlook and changed my mindset and said, hey, instead of saying I told you so, why don't you go be the example that, hey, you can too? And I feel like that's what God has put me in the place to be as an example to people that, hey, you can lose the weight, you can make it through all these hard things in your life if you have a little faith in God. It says seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, then all these things will be added unto you. I think so many times we try to get all the things before we put our focus on God.

Speaker 1:

Well, 100% Before you went to Biggest Loser and lost 200 pounds on the show. How long was the show? How long did it take you to lose that much weight?

Speaker 2:

Like I said, I went out to the show April 19th of 2011. And I forgot it was your original question. I got there April 19th and I lost probably I lost from. I was at 453 when I flew out because I'd already lost some being on the diabetic diet. I lost down to 426 by June 1st when we started and then the finale was December 13th, so it was all within that year that I lost over 200. And heck, really, I lost, I guess 250 something, pounds, 160, whatever that would be.

Speaker 2:

My lowest weight was 242 pounds at the end of Biggest Loser on the finale.

Speaker 1:

Well, I love that dude. When did you start gaining weight? Golly, I mean.

Speaker 2:

I was. Like when you signed with Toby at 22,. How big were you?

Speaker 1:

then I was 450 pounds. Oh, you were big then?

Speaker 2:

Oh, I was big then. Yeah, I gained my weight when I was young. I was 300 pounds by eighth grade and five foot seven, five foot eight by eighth grade I was. I didn't get much taller. I kept thinking, well, I'm going to grow into it, because both my uncles are like six foot six and six foot eight, so I thought I was going to be like them.

Speaker 1:

And I didn't get any taller, I just kept getting broader and thicker. You know so, but anyways, I mean it was about six months, basically on the show. Walk me through how you dealt with your weight and your size, but you still kept exceeding you. Still, you, you still kept excelling at different things that you were doing. Walk me through the mentality of you being able to just not quit and just really persevering through your weight and all the different things and how that because that didn't really affect you, it didn't sound like.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I wish I had the right answer I could give people, because I think so many people need to know how to love theirself, even when they don't look at theirself in the mirror and think they're great For me, for whatever reason. I think. Basically, when I was a kid, I got made fun of a lot because I was the fat kid you know I was, I was tubbo and lardo and a bunch of other bad explicit words, you know, and it hurt me, but it didn't hurt me as bad as my stepdad at home, so it didn't feel like that bad of a thing. And he called me way worse, you know. He told me, I mean, excuse my language, but he called me you fat MF-er, you piece of shit, you're never going to be anything. Get up, you lazy, you know. I mean, he called me everything in the book. And so when a kid said it to me, I'm like, well, if I wanted to, I could snap you in half, you know. But I think what really happened for me?

Speaker 2:

Start football in junior pro, but I was over the weight limit back then. If you were 11 years old or older, um, you could not weigh over uh, over 180 pounds, and I weighed 220 pounds whenever I was like 10 years old, right at 11. And so they denied me playing, and so I had to wait until I was in seventh grade to play middle school football. And when I got out there, though, I mean you know, like I said, being being a 230, 240 pounder in middle school, people were like that, that's, that kid's a high schooler, you know.

Speaker 2:

And I went from being the fat kid to being the big guy, and football is where I found my identity. I started realizing I was very strong, so I started lifting weights and then I kind of had this thing I could latch on to, and once I become good at football, that was my identity, and I think so many times we get wrapped up in the identity of that's what I am. At the end of the day, we're all children of God and that's what we're supposed to focus on. But you know, having something to latch on to gave me this confidence level. So, even though I was this big old fat guy, you know, and all this other stuff, and I could have been so much more, I could have been so much better if I'd realized earlier in my years, and I probably wouldn't have, you know, the ankle injuries I have now and some of the other things had.

Speaker 2:

I realized it earlier. But even with that being said, I thought I was the hottest guy in the room.

Speaker 1:

It didn't matter and I wasn't confident about it.

Speaker 2:

I would walk into the room and think I could have any girl that was in the room. I would walk into the room and think I was the best looking guy. I literally would have been like, hey, Chris Hemsworth, get behind me. You know, like that, that's who I was at 500 pounds and uh, and it was real. It wasn't this fake confidence, it wasn't this like oh, I'm just going to tell myself this every day.

Speaker 2:

Uh, it was truly the way I was and, like I said, I wasn't. Cock happened for me was. I thought I was, I thought I was unstoppable, I thought I was, you know, immortal and then, all of a sudden, diabetes said no, you're not, you know.

Speaker 1:

So you? So you go to the hospital with um with that condition, almost lost your leg, get a call. Go on biggest loser. Walk me through that process of trying out finding you're making the show. What was that like in your heart and in your, in your?

Speaker 2:

You know. So going through that process was really cool because I did get a front of the line ticket but I had to go wait in line. You know it was, it was at the Memorial in Nashville I had to go wait in line. You know, like I said, I got a front of the line ticket because, my friend Dana DeSilvio was on the first season and she was the one that sent me into casting.

Speaker 2:

But I got in there and you sit down at a table with you know 11, 12 people and they say tell us your story. And everybody at the table starts telling their story and I was kind of like overwhelmed. I'm like, okay, this, this woman, you know, her mom had cancer and died when she was four, and this guy was molested as a kid and this girl I mean everybody has this trauma. And so I got up and I just started doing the worm and the split because I knew I had to gain their attention somehow. I'm like well, I'm talking about.

Speaker 2:

You know, my mom did this or whatever, yeah. And so I hit that worm and the guy goes stop you, tell me, tell me your story. And then I went and tell him my story and his name was Brandon Nickens and he said man, I love you. He said you're good to go and didn't tell me if I was in or out. He just said you're dismissed from the table. Hey, we really like you. We want to move you on to the next bit of casting. And then they take you out to actually Calabasas, california, and you're there for probably two weeks because they take you through tons of medical tests. They don't let you just walk onto the show because they want to make sure you're not going to kill over dead.

Speaker 2:

In fact, on my season, phil Margera, bam's dad, was supposed to be on our season with us, but because of the worry of his physical health if he might be able to make it through the show or if he might have a heart attack or whatever they ended up not having it, even though he was a way bigger star than the rest of us. So, um, they, they, they work really hard, or they used to. I mean, the show's not on anymore, but they used to work really hard to make sure our safety was intact. And, um, you have to take, you know, personality tests and all this other stuff. Want to know, like, are you going to go crazy and try to kill somebody in the house, or are you going to be a bad guy or a good guy? So I was kind of labeled America's sweetheart, so you know what was it?

Speaker 1:

What was the biggest thing? What was maybe one or two of the biggest things you learned in that process, Vinny?

Speaker 2:

You know they don't show it enough on the show, but they teach you so much and give you so much education on food, how it reacts in your body, how the endocrine system goes, the hormones you release, the way sleep affects you. They teach you so much on that show. It's not just about okay, let's get in and make you work out really hard in front of the cameras and stuff. That's what they show on the TV, but it's really the education they gave me to learn these things. And then I'll never forget the biggest help that was to me, these things. And then I would never forget what the biggest help that was to me. It was probably two and a half weeks in. They came to me and they're like Big Vinny, tell us what's your deal with your mom. I'm like nothing. I love my mom, my mom's great. And Dr Hogan says well, according to this test that we had you take, you love women, you respect women, but you don't trust women. And he goes and normally that comes from something happened with your mom, either at a young age or something else. So you know we really want you to open up and be able to tell us, because that's the only way you're going to lose the weight and keep it off is if you find the beginning of your problem. And so, about three weeks in, we were training with Tim Tebow and it was one of the coolest days because, you know, even though I'm a Tennessee ball through and through, I mean you can't not be a Tebow fan and we get done, and I was just like exhausted because he boxed us and worked the crap out of us probably the one of the hardest workouts I've ever been through. But I'm kind of sitting there on the treadmill and I'm just walking it off and, uh, dovette comes over and says hey, man, I want you to tell me about your mom.

Speaker 2:

Now, by this time me and Dovette had become good friends, so we were close and I just opened up and I told him all the things I went through as a kid and of course I started crying and then, you know, then they took me outside and talked to me. But as I got with the doctor that afternoon, he goes hey, I'm glad you opened up and he goes. Now tell me something. He goes. Do you think you can forgive your mom? And I'm like I said, man, why should I forgive her? Why should I forgive her for all the things she let me go through, for watching me get the things done to me that she watched me get done to.

Speaker 2:

And when I tell you it was brutal, it wasn't like he whooped me too hard with a belt. I mean, he beat the crap out of me with his fist. I had extension cords, I had a sling blade handle broke over my back. I could go on and on, and it was an every day or every two or three day occurrence, you know.

Speaker 2:

Now, on the flip side, when he wasn't on the hard drugs, he taught us how to play football. He taught us how to hunt. He taught us how to you know trap. He taught us how to do these things. That were great life lessons. And he would roll with us and watch three stooges. And there was a good side of him. There was. There was. Just like in anything, I think there's good and evil and I think he had a lot of good in him too.

Speaker 2:

But anyways, what he made me do he goes. I want you to do this exercise. He goes because I understand he goes. You don't want to forgive your mom. He goes. But let me ask you this question he goes. Why should God forgive you. And I was like, what do you mean? I was like he goes well, ever sinned. I said, yeah, he goes. Are you a Christian? I said, yeah, he goes. Do you believe he died for your sins? I said, yeah, he goes. And you might as well put that in the hand too. And I was like I was kind of baffled by that he goes. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to put yourself in your mom's position. Look at it from her point.

Speaker 2:

Son, my brother Shane, then she had me when she was 19. My sister, I guess, right as she turned 20, had my sister, and so by 20 years old, she's raising three kids. He goes. Well, maybe she found this guy. He was a drug dealer and she was, of course, addicted and all that stuff too. But he said, maybe she found this guy that could put a roof over your head and food in your belly and food in your belly. And she thought, man, I'm doing a good job, you know. And maybe she stayed with it. He goes. Was she getting beat? I was like, oh, she got beat way more than we did, like she got brutally, like I mean, never forget the waking up and hearing those sounds.

Speaker 1:

It gets me emotional thinking about it.

Speaker 2:

But I just, I just looked at it and I said, man, she's got it worse than I had, you know. And that's when I was able to break down. I didn't forgive her right away. It took more, more time than that, but that was the beginning of me saying, man, I got to go forgive her and I got to let her know that, even though you made mistakes, it's OK because you're not still making those mistakes. And I was able to forgive her. Me and her have a great relationship now. She hasn't tried to commit suicide now in over three years. She has clinical depression and she has a lot of hormone imbalances from taking acid and all the other drugs she took when she was younger and everything else. But she's very level now. She still lives in the woods in a trailer by herself and her dogs, but she's come to her happy place. She reads her Bible every day, she smokes a little pot, she goes on the river.

Speaker 1:

She hangs out with her dogs. You sound like you've developed a lot of empathy for her, oh, I had to.

Speaker 2:

I had to realize like she went through so much just to give me what, what life we did have. She went through so much and I never knew it as a kid, because you're only thinking about yourself, because you don't know any better as a kid, but as you're sitting there and you're just, you know, when you start really looking at her life and what she put up with, the one thing my mom did right and she did a lot right but the one thing she did right was she knew that if she took us to church, that when she got home she was going to be accused of sleeping with a pastor, she was going to be accused of sleeping with a Sunday school teacher. My stepdad was a psycho, she was going to be accused of all this and he was probably going to lay his hands on her. But every single Sunday she still got us up, still got us dressed and had to drag us down there. Because you know we're a bunch of, you know, boys, we're a bunch of us. We was like we didn't want to go to church, we want to go outside and play. But we'd go down there and we, you know, go to Sunday school and play Bible, baseball and do all the things we did.

Speaker 2:

That gave me a foundation and it says in the Bible says if you, if you put love, if you plant the seed at an early age, that even if they go away from it, they'll have something to come back to. So thank God, she gave me that foundation and God and put Jesus in my heart at a young age and made me understand what this life is really about, because it's not just about the money you have in the bank or all the great things which I'm not saying having money is a bad thing because, trust me, it makes life a lot easier. But she taught me that we're really here to spread the love of Jesus Christ and let people know about God's word and if we can do that, then we've lived a complete life. You know I love that man. Tell me that.

Speaker 1:

That's good. Tell me what that was like when you, when you, got with her face to face for the first time after that.

Speaker 2:

So they filmed it on the show and it was really hard for her and it was really hard for me and it wasn't the way I would have wanted to do it, you know. But it's you know, it was part of the process. And we sat down at my house. At the time I'd bought this old church in Nashville and turned it into a house up on 46th Avenue. So she came to the house and we sat down and and I had to ask her this question.

Speaker 2:

So the, the thing that hurt me the most whenever I really started thinking about it, um, I decided to move out whenever I was 12 years old and I moved in with my dad. I never lived with my dad, but my dad was a preacher before that. My dad was a was a musician and he had played. He was always a road guy, he was a feeling guy, but he had played with everybody, from steve millerman to david allen, cole or red lynn, like all these people. And I didn't really know him. You know, I'd met him a few times when I was young and then, um, he had moved back so I'd see him every once in a while but I didn't really know him.

Speaker 2:

But I was, I was squirrel hunting with my neighbor, dann, and I was supposed to be home by six o'clock. Well, it was like six or four and our driveway was about half mile long from our house to their house and, uh, I was walking back and I was already late and I all of a sudden I heard this big black Silverado coming up behind me and it was my stepdad. And he goes why aren't you home? And I was like, well, I'm on my way home. He's like, what time is it? I'm like, uh, like 604, 605.

Speaker 2:

He's like, yeah, he goes. What time was you supposed to be home? And I was like six o'clock. He said get in, the get in the truck. So I get in the truck and he reaches over and he grabs me by the back of the neck and he's holding me and he's sitting there telling me how big of a piece of crap I am and you know you should have done this and you should have done that and all these other things, and telling me I don't respect him and all this. And he holds on to me and we drive all the way.

Speaker 2:

Of course I'm crying, you know, and we get all the way up to the driveway and I jump out. I'm just like man, I'm done with this. And I don't remember what I called him. I called him, told him he was a son of a bitch or something like that, I can't remember took off running and he chased me and caught me. Of course he was, I was, you know, it was about 300 pounds at this point, but he was a, he was a ex Navy SEAL and you know, was in Vietnam and he had been through a lot. And he chased me down and got me on the ground and he was sitting there punching me in the face.

Speaker 2:

Now, most of the time he never did it in front of my mom, but this time he did and I thought, well, if I run to her now, she's going to have my back. And I got up and she gets out of her little Dodge minivan and I run up to her and I'm got blood pouring out of my face. My eyes are already instantly black from where he got me right, I mean right square in the nose with his fist. And she says what did you do to him? And then I looked at her and she was talking to me and she goes what did you do to him to make him do that to you? And I was just like. I mean, I'm a 12 year old kid.

Speaker 2:

Like this is a six foot one, former Navy SEAL, you know, full grown man. Like what am I supposed to do to him? Like what could I have done, you know, that would have made him do that to me? And I was a good kid. I never got in trouble. Really, I was always a good kid because I was scared to death that I was going to get in really bad trouble. But that was the day I said you know what I'm done with this.

Speaker 2:

So I called my real dad. I called him, went inside, called him on the phone and said hey, look, this is what's going on. I need you to come get me and him and my Uncle Richie come and I'll never forget. And they showed up, they had their guns on them. They pointed them at Randy and my dad was a preacher in town, you know so. And my stepdad, without missing a beat, he said this is the only time you'll ever pull a gun on me If you don't pull the trigger. And uh, he said he goes, you better hope you kill me If you ever, if you ever, do it again. And uh, I went to go get my clothes and my stepdad looked at me. He said where are you going. I was like I'm going to go get my clothes, I need some clothes. He said, no, those are my clothes. He goes you're lucky, I'm letting you walk out here with what's on your back.

Speaker 2:

So we went to Walmart, bought me some clothes and moved in with my dad for a couple of years. But in his house he had my brother Stephen, my cousin Terry and my uncle Richie. My cousin Terry was pretty mentally handicapped. We all lived in one bedroom together. My stepmom and my dad had a room and then my two sisters that were living there had a room and we had one bathroom between us. So mornings were hectic. But I lived there for about two years till I kind of finally made. You know. Well, I didn't really make the decision. I got into it one morning with my stepmom because I was picking on my little brother, just kind of being a big brother, not in a mean way. Just I was blowing my breath in his face and holding him down the bed, tickling him, and she comes in and grabs me get off him you're too big.

Speaker 2:

Well, what I heard was all these years of my stepdad calling me fat mfr and all this other stuff. So I just called her every name in the book and I went to school that day and I felt like I was the man. Get home and my dad had all my stuff packed up in two trash bags and he said son, if you can't respect my wife, then you're going to have to go ahead and leave. And I'd already felt rejected by him my whole life. So I left and I went and moved in to my buddy's house and paid a hundred dollars a month for their spare bedroom and paid. So so get back so get back.

Speaker 1:

You're sharing this with your mom on TV, recording this for TV. Yeah, how was that I mean? How did she respond I?

Speaker 2:

mean it was really hard for her because when I asked her that question I said you know, when I asked her, I said why did you say that to me? Like, why did you let him do that to me and why did you let him do all that to us? But why did you say that to me? And she looked at me and she goes and she's crying, she's bawling, she says Vinny, I don't. And she's like she's and I hate to say it, I don't remember.

Speaker 2:

I remember very little of y'all's childhood. I remember very little, you know. I remember getting beat up and I remember some certain things like little you know, birthdays or trips or whatever she was, but I don't remember she goes. I don't even remember saying it, I don't remember doing it. She goes. You know, I mean my whole family, me and my brothers and sisters. What's your watched her put a gun to her head and pull the trigger whenever I was 10 years old and she lived through it and she doesn't even remember doing that, but she was on you know a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2:

Trauma is an unbelievable thing, man, yeah, so that's what I had to forgive her for and I was able to do that. And I was actually able to forgive my stepdad. You know it doesn't mean I want to hang around him, I want to be around my mom still. But I told my stepdad I said, look, I know you saw a lot of stuff in Vietnam, stuff that I can't fathom. And I tried to put myself in his position as well. You know, he came in, happened to raise three kids that weren't his biologically.

Speaker 2:

He had his own son from a failed marriage before it was my oldest brother, derek. And once I sit there and I told him, I said look, I just want you to know I forgive you for everything. I don't know if you'll ever forgive yourself and maybe you have already and maybe you didn't care at all and I said but I just want you to know I forgive you and I hope that you find God and hope that you find your way to heaven one day, because I know there's good in you and there was. There was good in him too. So he's 70 something years old now and he's blind and drugs have caught up with him.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if he's found out. So Biggest Loser that happens with your mom. You're in the show. You make it all the way down. You're one of the finalists on the show. Walk me through. Biggest Loser's done. You go home. What was your outlook?

Speaker 2:

And your outlook on life had to have been so much higher man, there was. There was so much to it because you for most people, they don't live in front of the camera, you know, and so my whole life I'd kind of been on this. You know, you're on the stage, you're in front of a camera, you're doing this, doing that. So I had all this pressure on me when I first got back and my man, if I even gained a pound, if somebody sees me eating any ice cream. So for five years the first five years after the show I worked out four to five hours every day and I always thought I didn't look good. I killed my muscle mass and my metabolism for those four to five years because I thought that was the only way I could keep the weight off. And I didn't touch. I didn't have a single cheap meal for five years. I didn't eat any birthday cake. I didn't have a piece of pizza. I still, to this day, have not eaten fast food. I have not eaten at McDonald's or Sonic or Wendy's or any of that stuff since before I left for Biggest Loser, and so my outlook changed on life.

Speaker 2:

There was a lot of pressure in the beginning, but then, as I realized, I'm like man. I feel great, I wake up every day and my body feels great. I don't have the pain that I used to have. I always thought I felt good whenever I was big. I didn't realize how bad I actually felt until I lost the weight. But you know, also, like I said, I felt this pressure to be an example, to to to live for everybody else.

Speaker 2:

And it wasn't until I met my now wife that I realized, man, you just got to be the best version of you. I don't have to live up to other people's expectations of what I'm supposed to be and this and that. And that was so relieving for me, because people don't realize how hard I had to work out four to five hours a day to stay under 300 pounds. I had to eat 1800 to 2400 calories a day and no more than that to stay under 300 pounds. And for me, once I realized that, man, I'm not built to have a six pack and run marathons, I'm built to be a strong guy that does this. So my, with that being said, you know you still got to keep your health in mind, but right now I mean my A1C runs 4.9. My blood pressure is usually 120 over 70, 120 over 72. Everything in my stuff runs.

Speaker 1:

well, your chest pressed in 150 pound dumbbells. Don't forget that big boy.

Speaker 2:

But, but I, but I do, but I weigh 333 pounds, you know. So I mean, it's still when you weigh 333 pounds, it doesn't matter if it's muscle, cause I have a lot of muscle. I got a lot of fat too, um, but it's still that much pressure on your joints. So, just you know, I'm in 2019, I tore out my ankle really bad and I was training for a strongman competition, which I didn't get hurt. Training for strongman competition, I got hurt racing my wife like an idiot who was a bodybuilder and weighs a hundred pounds.

Speaker 2:

Um, but I hurt that ankle really bad and it's uh, it's taken me two different surgeries last year, uh, to get it back to somewhat normal now, and it's definitely cost me because I was a guy that would go out and run two to three miles every morning. That was kind of part of my routine and that helped me help keep my weight down. So now my focus has changed more to functional fitness and wanting to get down up under 300 pounds again. About 275 is where I start to show the outline of my abs and stuff like that. I get down to about 20 to 18% body fat. Can't really see my abs, but you can say oh, yeah.

Speaker 1:

If I, if I pull in my, gut, you know well dude. Talk to me, man. It's an unbelievable story, bro, from you know growing up in that environment. You know becoming a really a country music star, getting signed by Toby biggest loser almost losing your leg. You know walking through the whole forgiveness part with your mom, which I would probably say is the most unbelievable and best thing you've ever been through.

Speaker 2:

It was paramount to my success in life was that.

Speaker 1:

So, dude, tell our audience real quick. We got a couple of minutes. What's next for my man, Big Vinny?

Speaker 2:

So music has been my main focus still, you know, ever since I come out and every year I feel this calling to become more of a speaker, to share my story, to share my failures and my successes with people so that I can be that example. And I think God's been pulling on my heart. Really, I'm still going to always do music, it's always going to be part of what I do and I'm going to keep putting out songs the rest of my life. But I think what's next for me is developing. You know the way that I can help people, that I can utilize. You know what I've been through to help people. My passion is kids. I want to help kids. You know what I realized, actually, at your event at Grow Stack and Drive Grow Stack and Drive At Create.

Speaker 2:

Conference, yeah, at Create Conference.

Speaker 2:

What I realized at that event was I always thought I wanted to help, realized that that event was I always thought I wanted to help kids, and I do.

Speaker 2:

But what I also realized is that every single one of those kids that had childhood trauma, like I, had grow up to be adults that still have that kid inside of them. And it was whenever I heard Phil Stringer talking and kind of tell him what he was going through and tell him what he had been through as a kid and being part of a religious cult and all this other stuff, and I realized that, man, even though he's crushing it now, just a year ago this dude was about to be out on the street losing his kids, losing his wife, losing all these things he worked for, and now he's crushing it. And it made me realize that man. I want to talk to that nine-year-old boy that's trapped inside of a 40-year-old man's body, that is still hurting from all the things he went through and that is still hurting from all the things he went through and that's exactly what happened for me on biggest, who hasn't found the healing that you did.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that's what's next for me is developing that program. It's going to be called overall. You do some work with Ken. Come on but you know that and then, just you know, continuing to be a great dad, still putting out music, still doing my deal, but just learning and growing my business and and being the best example of the human I can be.

Speaker 1:

Dude, I love that man. Tell Vinny, tell our audience where the best way for them to connect with you is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, just big Vinny official and that's big with two G's B I G G Cause I'm too big for one G. Big Vinny official. V I N N? Y official. You can find me on all the different interwebs and all that good stuff, or you can just Google Big Vinny and you'll probably pop up. But yeah, follow me on all those places. And bigvinnyofficialcom is my website.

Speaker 1:

Even Yep, big Vinny Official guys Straight on Instagram. Check my guy out. He's going to be with us in Puerto Rico for our GSD Mastermind, coming up in June with his guitar. We're going to do a little worship. We're going to have a little fun in the sun. I cannot wait, bro. We're going to have a blast. Dude, I love you. Thank you so much for joining us, man and sharing your story and man, just watching you get emotional. Dude, you can feel the healing and the forgiveness and just really the goodness of God, man, what he's done in your heart and in your life, my friend.

Speaker 2:

Hey, well, I love you too, buddy, and I appreciate you letting me come on and be in front of your audience, and hopefully I inspired somebody today to forgive somebody so well.

Speaker 1:

I promise. I promise you you will. Guys, thank you for joining us again for another episode of as a leader grows. I am your host. Ken Jocelyn would love to connect with you over on Instagram at Ken Jocelyn, have a good one. We'll see you on the next episode.