Mission And Core Five Foundation

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Welcome to Proximity with Ken Jocelyn. I am Ken Jocelyn, your host, founder of Grow Stack Drive, and everything we do here is driven by one mission. To help one million faith-based entrepreneurs become the best version of themselves in what we call our Core Five framework: faith, health, relationships, business, and finances. Here's the truth that most people miss. Your life does not move in the direction of your intentions, it moves in the direction of your proximity. Who you're near matters. Who you listen to matters. And the rooms that you choose to enter matter probably more than you know. This podcast is built on the principles from my book, The 14 Frequencies of Proximity, where I break down the internal frequencies you must develop to attract the right relationships, gain clarity, and step into the next level that God has for your life. You'll hear real conversations with faith-driven entrepreneurs, leaders, and high performers, many of them voices from Create, the number one faith-based

Proximity And The 14 Frequencies

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entrepreneur conference in America, that I host right here in Atlanta every single year in January. This isn't about hustle culture. This isn't motivation for the moment. This is about alignment, discipline, and becoming the person your future requires. If you're ready to grow in your Core Five framework and get closer to the people and environments that accelerate your growth, you're in the right place. Two of my favorite people on the planet. They've walked me through. Steven, Steven got off. Steven cutting his camera on for this one. Henry and Jaren are create legends, man. This is going to be their third year with us at Create. They are one of the most amazing couples. Their story is absolutely unbelievable. When they talk about uh biblical masculinity and and femininity and the and the and the polarity between the two, um, guys, they are the best of the best of the best. I'm gonna turn you guys loose. How about 20 minutes? 20 minutes good?

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Yeah, whatever is whatever you want.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Knock it out, baby. Yeah, I love you, girl. It's good to see you. I love you too. I'll just I can't wait to see you guys. Go ahead, Henry.

SPEAKER_03 2:16

Same. I'll just start with a plug, man. I remember last year, Ken, I don't know if you remember this, but we walked in the hallway after one of the sessions at Create and just said, Ken, man, it's just beautiful to see how much you're serving and how much you're pouring into. And as you know, in business, you add value, you add more value to people than anybody else. And it's just like, Ken, you showed up with so much love last year

Introducing Henry And Taryn

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and excited to see how it's gonna come because every year it only gets better. It's only gotten better every year. And so I we're we're excited to be there with everybody. And hello, everybody. Nice to be here with everybody. So, you know, can't see everybody. Matt, I see you, Mark, and people waving Drew. Thank you. Yeah, well, man, so Taryn and I are just just honored to be here. Um, our story is kind of wild and crazy. We both have lived very individually, crazy. I think you know, they say your mess becomes your message in life. And each of us have had very interesting lives when it comes to generally and also within relationships. And one thing that Taryn and I do that we love to do is we we're blessed to travel the world and speak about love and relationships, and we're deeply studied on everything from the nervous system to trauma to you know to masculine, feminine, you know, masculinity, femininity, but also just the principles of love in the core and how to get back home. And it's crazy. We were just at an event, Ken, and we were at Tony Robbins event in Florida, and Tony was like, you know what's crazy is like I was at an event that was like the goats dinner, like with the Tom Brady and all the different goats of he goes, I thought we were gonna go and be talking about business or what makes people good. He goes, you know what we talked about the whole time? Relationships. He said, everybody was talking about relationships and struggles in relationships, and we just know that it doesn't matter how successful you are, you know, but when we can get the love right within ourselves and the love within our relationships, right? Everything just expands. We we sat with a a couple we were working with, and the guy built a unicorn, you know, just beautiful, like amazing family. And his his partner looks at him and she says, I would rather live in a trailer and be happy with you than have everything that

Why Relationships Drive Everything

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we have. You know, and and I and I think it's it's so true. Because I mean, so many of us have had successes in different areas, but what are we really chasing in life? What are we really chasing? What do we really want? We want to be loved, we want to be connected, we want to feel fulfilled, we want to feel like we're we're fulfilling the purposes of God. And and so we that's that's partially why the things we've studied, we've studied, because from the perspective, um I'll nerd out for 12 seconds, you know, from a trauma-informed perspective, when we're in a state of fear and we don't feel safe because of our history, because of what we everybody here has had a heartache in some way, shape, or form. I'm pretty sure. You know, if you haven't, congratulations. That is awesome. Teach us your ways, you know. But it's like, and a lot of us have protection mechanisms, and it's hard to love when your body's in a state of fear or survival. You know, it's hard to, it's hard to be free when you're trying to just protect the same walls that keep pain out or the same walls that keep love out. So, how do we develop such presence and liberation and freedom to where we can call in love, call in and love that mass, you know, magnifies success. Love that magnifies who you are as a being, you know, and not just love externally, but also how do you develop? I mean, I love that this is a faith-based, you know, event that how do you develop the relationship with God in that context to where you get to develop that love and the love within yourself? You know, and and when they asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was, you know, love God with all your heart, soul, mind, mind, and strength, and love your neighbors as yourself. You know, and a lot of times we miss the self part. A lot of times Why do you, Henry? And I don't know this isn't QA. You have 20.

SPEAKER_02 5:48

No, no, no. Please, please, please. Why do you think why do you think we well, why do you think we do that? Why do you think we choose not

Love Versus Fear In Daily Life

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to love ourselves? And maybe, Taryn, this is a great question for you to hop in. Not that not that you weren't gonna hop in anyway. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Oh man. Well, I mean, there's so so many different aspects, and and it's I wouldn't say it's a learned behavior, but it's so easy for us to jump into a fear-based way of living. And and that's a lot of what we teach is are you living in love or are you living in fear? And especially with ourselves. And if we were to go around and ask every single person, even on this call, of what's this daily dialogue within our mind? You know, is it positive? Is it love-based or is it fear-based? Is it, oh, well, I should be doing this and I should be doing that, and I should be doing that. And as Tony Robbins says, then you end up shooting all over yourself, and that doesn't really get you anywhere. Where, you know, in your relationship too, it's like, how can you show up in that love-based form if you're not showing that to yourself? And for me, I've been able to experience the love of this amazing man and what it has done in my life. And I'm such a believer in that, and you know my background, Ken, and everyone will be able to hear more of my story, you know, at Create. But I'm such a believer in the power of that love and also what me showing up as the embodiment of love for this man. Like I just want to love him so well so that he can serve his mission and his purpose and change the world in the way that he's called to as well. But I can't do that if I'm not showing up in a love-based way for myself as well. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Yeah. Talk a little bit, Henry, about the work you guys have done, not the work you're doing right now helping people. I have five affirmations I do every day. You've heard them. One of them is I am whole. I choose to use past pain to help others find healing. So when I go through things, I know God, I don't know why I'm going through this, but I know you're gonna use this in the future to help people. The reason you guys are so good at what you've done is because of all the stuff you went to. Taryn alluded just a minute ago, a little bit to some of her story, but walk through what you guys, because Henry, you said if I had met her X amount of months earlier, I would not have been ready to meet her. Walk walk me through the work you guys have done before you met and then after you guys had.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

Yeah, you know, I'll I'll I'll share the story of the month before we met. I remember I I've done this, I've studied human behavior for since I was 17. 28 years, I have not stopped.

Trauma, Safety, And Self Love

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I'm obsessed. Any any form of thing that takes away my freedom, or you know, I don't know who values freedom here on the Zoom. You know, is you know, I value freedom, and I just felt any form of fear keeps me caged. Any form of people pleasing, any form of looking outside of me, and I'm and I realized so much of my history had conditioned me to, you know, I wanted to look for the patterns, look for the fears, and I realized at some point in my life, Ken, that emotions are messengers, not dictators. Fears are messengers, not dictators. Patterns are messengers, not dictators. Limitations and belief systems are messengers, not dictators, right? And so if I looked at them as, okay, what is my body really scared of? And instead of turning away from fear, what if I looked it in the eyes and I realized that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but love, power, and a sound mind, right? That's what the scriptures say. So if if I have not, God has not given me fear, then where is that coming from? That comes from you know, the thief that comes to kill, steal, and destroy everything good. Because I realize if I walked in fear in my life, that's going to limit the impact I have, the success I have, the relationships I have. And just in the context of relationships, I realized if I'm in fear as a you know core masculine male, then how is my partner supposed to feel safe with me if I can't even fight the lion? Or sometimes we become the lion if we're in fear, right? Because I'm I'm in an aggressive state or I'm in a passive state. Now they don't feel safe. And so for me, I realized early on I do not want to live a fear-based life. It is not a godly life, it's not where I wanted to be. And so I dove really deep. And then I had done so much work in October, the month before we met with uh I met Taryn, what was really crazy is I said, I need to comb through my system and see if I have anything that is hindering me from the relationship that I really want. I'd done all this work, I'd broke through barriers. I used to be passive, my nickname was passive, and then I want to speak on stages in front of 45,000 people. I've done this thing and then I blew up in this business opportunity. But I realized my relationship life, I had to be honest and see where results were. And I had to say what the results

Doing The Inner Work Before Union

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were in my relationship was not where I wanted it. So I had to go inward to myself and say, if I do the work, I know if there are laws and principles. When I do the work, I get the result. So October 1st, I said, This is my month. I'm gonna comb through my system. And I started doing that. Ken, I was praying, fasting, reading. I hired the best coach. I just went all in on myself.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

Stop real quick, because what you just said is super important. You hired the best coach, you invested in yep. Anyway, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

But you're right, and because the best investment you'll ever do is in yourself, the common denominator in everything I do is me. And when I evolve, what happens to me? My business, my life, my relationships, everything evolves because I'm the common denominator. So, what greater investment could I put in than myself? Yeah, right. And so October 26th, I remember I sat there and I had this breakthrough. Even though sometimes you know you hear something over and over again, but it clicks. October 26th, it clicked. And I said, I think I'm repeating, I'm trying to repeat and resolve my parents' relationships. I was the best and the worst of their relationship. And I was looking in my relationships to solve and tie a boat on the things that my mom had never gave my dad, and my dad never gave my mom. And I can go way deeper. But there was like this crazy sense of what my nervous system was primed for. And I it just clicked. I had this crazy breakthrough. I worked through it. Three weeks later, I meet Taryn. And I literally, one of the first things I said to her was what on our one of our first dates.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

He said that if we would have met two months earlier, he would have ruined it.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

I I just got chills because it it wasn't that I was a bad person, it was I was running patterns.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Yeah, so let me let me let me dive in right there with what you just said, because there's a lot of people on the call tonight, and that create we think there's something wrong with us because we could because we we do live in fear. And I I love what Henry, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just people people are like like where you were at and Taryn, whose whose ex-husband put a gun in her mouth. And I mean, the story is unbelievable. And and sometimes I think we wonder that we look at our lives and go, dude, this is a mess. Like I'm doing this and I'm acting, I'm had this behavior. Love what you said earlier. You said I'm either passive or I'm a lion and I'm aggressive, and neither one makes my wife feel safe. They both make her feel unsafe. Something must be wrong with me. No, nothing's wrong with you. You've just gone through hell. Like you've went, I literally am sitting here looking at a text message I just got just a minute ago from a guy inside of our community. And I just said, I just listen to this. I said, Miss this guy. He goes, I miss that guy too. He goes, Well, just a couple weeks after that picture, he got injured, took a huge toll physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, never fully recovered, exasperated, a five-figure loss on a big project in Q4, mix in some family stuff for the chair. He said, 2025 did its best to break me literally and figuratively. Sorry, I've been MAA. Reclusiveness is my default mode when shit really hits the fan and my fan was covered. Like when we have stuff like that, guys, and we act a certain way, it doesn't prove that there's something wrong with us, it just proves we're human.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

Right. Yeah, Ken, you know, there's a one of my favorite quotes is by Dr. Stephen Porges, and

Fear, Masculinity, And Safety

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he said, There's no such thing as bad behaviors, only adaptive ones.

SPEAKER_04 13:39

Right?

SPEAKER_03 13:39

When I was passive, it was because when I was a kid and I would speak up, my father would be mad and throw something across the room. So I learned if I speak up, I lost safety and connection. So therefore, as a as a safety mechanism, I learned speak up, be people, don't speak up, be people pleaser, and you'll be safe and connected. When I learned that was just a safety mechanism, it was an adaptive response. It wasn't wrong with me. My body learned to adapt.

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So good.

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I am not my past unless I choose it. And I'll share one quick story. And sorry, baby, I'm talking a lot.

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I love when you talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 14:09

You know, I realized something, and this goes, you know, I love that I could share the story. So when they when they caught that woman in adultery in the in the Bible and they throw her at Jesus' feet and say, We caught her in adultery and she deserves to die, she deserves to be stoned. That's what they say, right? Yep, yep. And what does Jesus do? Do you know they're surrounding her in a circle, these like authoritative people are pointing at her, and Jesus kneels down to where she's at and writes on the floor and says, He who has no sin, let him cast the first stone. And they all the all the church people start leaving, and Jesus looks at her and says, Hey, where are those people that accuse you? And she's like, Well, they're not here, you know. And he's like, Well, neither do I condemn you. Stands up, go and sin no more. And I used to always think that's how we deal with other people, but God showed me that's also how we are with ourselves. Am I Jesus to myself or am I the church person to myself, the accuser to myself? Who else is called the accuser? Right? Am I the accuser? Do I put shame into myself? Or or can I love myself? And is it something God told me, Henry? I need you to love yourself where you are and love yourself enough not to stay there. It's both.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

So good. So good. And so how do you how do you balance how guys? How do y'all balance that? Because a lot of time it's you know, I always talk about becoming the best version of myself. Like that's the mission that I'm on, and the mission that we're at here at GSD. How do y'all balance that where you love yourself, but you're also like, ooh, I gotta work on this?

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Yeah. You know, I I have a metaphor. Steve Young said, he said, we can do all the work in the world. You know, we go to these events, we go to these conferences, we go to these things, and they're like boxcars on a train. And unless the engine of love is on, your train is not going anywhere. You cannot hate yourself and beat yourself up into healing. That doesn't work. You know, if if love is the highest frequency, if love is God and God is love, then if I really want to heal and grow, I have to input love into my system and to who I am, right? And it seems like, oh, I'm gonna just work hard and beat myself

Grace Over Shame: Biblical Lens

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up. That's not really working for people in the long run. Yeah, you might make it through, but you never get the living water, which is love.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Right. It's good. It's good. I love that. You brought up that, you brought up that story about Jesus. You know, the crazy thing about it is when you look at that, I learned this in Bible college. When you look at that story when Jesus wrote in the dirt, and then he said he was without sin, cast the first stone, and they walked, it says they walked away from oldest to youngest. And then Jesus looked at her and he said, Neither do I condemn you. Go your way and sin no more. And the reason Jesus said, Neither do I condemn you, was he was the one under the law that should have condemned her. And if he threw the first stone, everybody else then had the right and the authority under Levitical law to take part of that stoning. And so when you think about it, like that's how much he loves you. He loves you enough to where, yep, you know what, you made a mistake. But I created you. And you know, those giant four stickers we have at Create, they're all over the building with quotes. And my two, my quotes, right walking into the auditorium every year, is God's love for you as it predicated on your performance. He loves you because he created you as a son or a daughter.

SPEAKER_03 17:22

Yeah. Amen. Amen, Ken. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. You know, um, I just heard a sermon where the guy was talking about the you know, the paralyzed man by the pool. And, you know, Jesus walks up and and heals the guy and says, you know, take up, pick up your mat and walk. Take up your mat and walk, right? And the guy's walking, and the people with authority are going, like, hey, what are you doing? You can't carry your mat on the Sabbath. He's like, but the guy that healed me, he's the one that said I could do it. And it made me think like, am I gonna listen to the world, the authority, anybody but what God has said about me, or am I gonna listen to what God has said about me? The one that heals me, the one that loves me, the one that loves me unconditionally. Are we gonna listen to the voices in our head? Are we gonna listen to the truth about who God said we are and the principles of love that actually bring wholeness, as you said, can and my wholeness and her wholeness together can come together and really magnify love and together in union with us and God can really do the work that we're called to do on this in this world. And I think that's what's so beautiful is recognizing that the etymology of the word healing is actually wholeness. And Jesus said, I will make you whole. So when we do this work to bring ourselves into wholeness, how can we really love ourselves into healing by bringing God into ourselves and into our relationship? And if you're not in a relationship, when you're in a state of fear, you're calling a different type of person. But when you're when you can get into a state of who you are and love and presence and remember that on a deep level, every the game is over, changes everything.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

No, I got married three weeks ago, and for the past four years,

Love As The Engine For Growth

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you guys have been in the journey with me. I mean, I'm talking about a journey. If I could go into some of the journey that we've had together, and it's been this is the same conversations we've had. Ken, where are you at in this area? Because if if this area doesn't change in you, you're gonna continue to attract what you've attracted. And that's been a conversation we've had a lot over the past four years.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Yeah, I got to say this about you, Ken, and to everybody. I'll I'll be a witness because we get to talk to Ken when nobody was listening. Ken does the work, Ken ask the questions. Yeah, Ken like asked the hard questions, and it was really beautiful, man, because I remember Ken, I was like, Ken, you're doing the work, you're calling, and you're and you're seeking, and you're right there and you're doing this work. And I was like, So the work that Ken is on stage sharing and saying, Hey, we got to do this, it's not words, it's lived experience, you know what I mean? And that's what I love, Ken. I gotta say that, man. You know, Steven, too, you guys, just the work, the questions, the the wrestle, because the growth happens in resistance in the places that we're Afraid to look at, and so many people are afraid to look at it. You know, but I I I mean I know Ken, if you guys follow Ken on social media, you know Ken goes to the gym, right? But how many people here have ever paid money to go to a gym?

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Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

Anybody okay? So if you went to the gym and they had the shiniest equipment, right? But no weights, would you pay money to go to that gym? So you pay money for resistance. Right? Resistance is where the magic is. That's where the fears show up. That's where everything shows up. But when you turn and face the fears, you realize more are they with you than they that are with them. And you are so much greater than any fear that's in front of you. And it's important to recognize who you are, and it's so much greater that fear is a barking dog with no teeth.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

I love that. I love that. Well, I love what you said just a minute ago about you guys have been witness to my journey. Guys, if you haven't been to Create, if you've been to Create, you know exactly what I'm about to tell you is 1,000% truth. The people that you're gonna hear at Create, from Pastor Mayo to Gary Breca to Josh Porter, to Henry and Taryn or relationships, to my good friend Jake Hamilton, to I mean, all the way through business and finances to Troy Hoffman, to Michael McDonald. I mean, all the guys I've got coming in, every one of these people have made an impact and a difference in my life. Like, this isn't just, oh, let me go find the guy, John Maxwell. John's been with us five out of six years. You guys have been with John at least one or two years that he's been there. Like, all of these people have made an impact. People ask me all the time, is Gary Brecker real? Does he use because you know Gary pushes all kinds of stuff now? It's like protein stuff and water tabs. And uh, I'm like, dude, I've been to Gary's house twice. Everything he tells you to do, he does it. Like legit. I've watched his life. We've been friends for five years. He does it. For you guys, what excites you the most about create and why should somebody show up?

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Oh man, there's so many things.

Proximity At Create: Why It Matters

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Actually, I'll go first in this off.

SPEAKER_02 22:02

I talked a lot already.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

I love me. Talk though. I love it. I could listen to him all day. Actually, side note, I would say if my job was to just talk about this man, I'd be a billionaire. So, you know, waiting for that to be a little bit more. But anyway, I adore create, and every single year, Henry Henry said it, it's gotten better and better and better. And I can attest to the amount of like intention that Ken puts into this and Ken's groundedness and leadership in it, and just the the atmosphere and the energy of the people that you connect with and the intimacy. Like, where else do you get to go to an event? And you see Gary Brucka, and he's just right here, and he's so accessible, and you're in close proximity to him, and John Maxwell and Tahir are these great, amazing speakers, and and also having the faith component just elevates it to a whole new level. Like it's amazing to be able to openly speak about our love for God and in in that aspect, and so beautiful. And just the the the people who come to grow, like just like Ken leads from experience, just like Henry alluded to. It Ken could have taken one of two paths, like in relationship, but he chose the path of leaning in. He always chose growth, he always chose this, and and it's and it shows and it's beautiful. And so create is just it's amazing. We love it, and we look forward to it like every single year.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

And what Michael said earlier into every to that is like I've developed some lifelong friendships. Yeah, yeah. Lifelong friendships, you know, people on this call. I mean, can you and I'm at an event, Steven? You and I met at an event, and we're we've we've gone through trenches together since then. You know what I mean? We met at the same event we met, you met Stephen. That's right. The same place, and then now here we are years later, to say we're we're creating more good and more light together and more love together, and we're amplifying each other, and we're there for each other in the hard times and the good times. Hello to Jocelyn's in the house. I don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

You guys, you all get to be a part of these guys connecting for the very first time. Hey, y'all do me a favor. Last question can y'all tell this girl why she's so lucky she got to marry me.

SPEAKER_03 24:11

I don't know if we

Community, Friendship, And Access

SPEAKER_03 24:12

have enough time for this, but you know, we we could do that, and I doubt we even have we have to because she already knows. No, she already knows. Congratulations, yeah, congratulations. That's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

But guys, but seriously, on the you know, seriously, the the work, and I love how you guys talk about that, Henry and Taryn. The work. Like, I wouldn't have been here had I not done the work. Like, there's no way um I would have been here had I not done the work. And and you will attract. I love John Maxwell says you don't reproduce what you know, you reproduce who you are, right? And you don't you don't attract what you know, you attract what's in here, right? And I think that's massive. And I've never had like I don't, I haven't told you guys this. My 17-year-old was over. Emma, you guys uh Emma loves you guys, y'all sat at our table. Uh y'all sat at our table last year during the black tie soiree, which is gonna be off the off the freaking chain this year, by the way. We uh Emma and I were sitting into August-ish at my at my place, and we were sitting on the couch. She's like, Dad, who are you dating? And I'm like, Well, I'm not really. She goes, Dad, would you just date? You just need to marry Michelle. We might he goes, we she goes, we love talking about our sisters, we love Michelle. And I'm like, Yeah, you know what, you're right. Okay. So I just called Michelle up and said, Hey, can we go out tomorrow night? And she was like, Yep. And I said, Okay, if we're gonna do this thing, let's do it. And she was like, What are you talking about? I said, Let's just get married. And she looked at me like you've lost your mind. Um I said, let's let's do it. Let's get and I just I'd hit a point in my life with all the work that we had done where I literally that's exact that's pretty much how it happened. Yeah, yeah, what do you have to say about relationships and healing and work and all those kind of things?

SPEAKER_00 25:54

It's a lot, but I think if you don't put in the work, I mean if I didn't put in the work, I wouldn't be I'd be killed in a room, depressed, and trying to raise kids and feeling

Ken’s Story: Healing And Marriage

SPEAKER_00 26:10

sorry for it's a lot of work, it's hard, and I mean one of the things that we like Jake said to us not too long ago was that like you do all the work separate, but then when you get together, you kind of have to do work together.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

But we had our first big argument this past week, by the way. We did our first big argument, and and you know what it was? It was Henry, you said it. Like so we're laying in the bed and she's crying about some stuff, and I got afraid. I was fearful, like what I'm doing for her, because my wound growing up was because I mean, for those of you guys don't know my story, 12 schools in 12 years, six different high schools. I remember my Maxine, my therapist asked me one time, she goes, Why in the world you I moved back and forth from my dad's from Atlanta area to Michigan, back to Detroit, six different times between my sixth grade year and my senior high school. And I remember Maxine looked at me at my therapy at point, she goes, Good Lord, child, why'd you move so many times? I said, I didn't have a choice. Anytime I got in trouble, my mom would pack, go tell me, go pack a bag. 24 hours I was on a bus, a plane, or my dad was on the way to pick me up from Michigan. And she said, Outside of giving my life to Christ, August 22nd of 1993 was the biggest aha moment I ever had. She said, How do you think that's affected your relationship with the women in your life who are supposed to love and pray? And I lost it. And in that, and it was that was that's what it was because my fear and my wound was whatever I do, it's not good enough for the woman in my life because that first woman in my life was my mother. Yeah, and I had to work through that to be able to attract them. Yeah, and I wouldn't have been able to do it without you guys.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

Oh man, we love you, Ken. And what a profound, profound insight. And I'll just say this: like taking a snapshot of you sitting there. Some people here on this Zoom or people that are there can be in a situation, and at that moment, years ago, before beautiful Michelle showed up, it was like, Am I gonna find somebody? Is it possible to have this type of relationship? Can is it but we we feel what we feel, but we don't fast forward and see that there's a preparation that God may be having within you to create something like this to where you can have an argument, and instead of it bringing you further apart, that argument can bring you closer together because you're honest about where you are and you know it's it's conscious. Now you're not running away, you're like, Oh, this is an old wounding. Hold on, let me let me just and that's exactly what I told her.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

I said, babe, here was my fear. My fear was the woman in my life, what I did wasn't good enough for. And it literally triggered me. And I have we've been together for a year and a half. We've been together for a year and we've never had an argument. Like, I've been broke, I broke up with her four or five times, but outside of that, we've never had an argument. Legit, we've never had an argument. It was like our first argument ever. And I'm like, oh, holy cow, okay, I didn't know that was still in there. But guys, let me say this when those things happen, when those things happen and they rise up in you, it's a reason. God rise, he's showing you that to go, hey, there's still some, there's still some area that needs healing. And I want you to

Triggers, Arguments, And Repair

SPEAKER_02 29:05

process through this and let me heal that area.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

Yeah, and I think one of my favorite quotes actually, I was at a Brandon Lake concert, and I think it very much related to relationships. And he said, you know, especially for those who are maybe in their time of waiting, or you know, why is it taking so long, or why did it take me so long? It's we know that God can heal us in a moment, but sometimes sometimes he has to heal us in a process.

SPEAKER_04 29:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Like it has to happen in a process for us to be able to grow into, like how Henry said he would have ruined it if we met two months earlier. We have to go through the process to show up in that way.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

So there's a verse that talks about the 10 lepers that Jesus prayed over. And it said, as they went, they were healed. They didn't get healed on the spot, they didn't leave Jesus' presence like, oh my gosh, my leprosy's gone. They believed in faith that what he spoke to them was gonna happen, and it scripture says, as they left and as they went, they were healed, and it's and it's an amazing, amazing time. I love you guys. And I cannot wait to celebrate with you guys at our Black Tie Soire. We are going to have a blast. Oh, yes, good. I love you guys. Thank you. I'm gonna I'm gonna you guys Steve Harward, you guys know Steve?

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Steve. I saw I ran into Steve at a bunch of events too. Randy Garnes events, all the other events, like and I saw you. I saw his picture. I was like, right, Randy and I were texting back and forth this morning.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

Oh, really? That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From Houston. He's he saw us. He texts me this morning. Randy goes, Did you really get married? And did you get he said you really get married on me? Question mark. And I literally sent Randy the picture of us getting married. Her dad actually did our ceremony, and it's me and her standing there with her dad in the background doing the ceremony. I said, 1000%, my friend. I sure did. But I love you guys. I cannot wait, guys. Also, listen, um, drop who just said that Mark Jean. Yes, Mark's bringing his wife all the way. Listen, he's coming all the way from LA, guys. Like, that's on the other side of the country. So he's

Process Healing And Faith

SPEAKER_02 31:00

he they he just said you're a rock star on the other side of the country. So do not miscreate. And what Henry and Terrence said just a minute ago, you guys have developed developed a lot of amazing relationships from that room. And that's exactly why we do what we do.

SPEAKER_03 31:17

Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

It is. I love you guys.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Steve, good to see you. Steve and everybody, Matt, everybody, bye. See you. Take care.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

Thanks for listening. And if today's episode challenged you or gave you clarity, remember this. You didn't become the best version of yourself by accident. You became it through alignment and proximity. When your faith, health, relationships, business, and finances are aligned, everything changes. That's the heartbeat of Grow Stack Drive and the experience we build every year at Create, the number one faith-based entrepreneur conference in America. So if you're serious about becoming the best version of yourself and growing alongside other faith-driven entrepreneurs, I want to invite you to take your next step. You go to GrowStatDrive.com forward slash free and join our free GSD community. You'll get access to leadership content, conversations, and proximity designed to help you align with your Core 5 framework and grow with intention. And if this episode brought you value, I'd love to have you subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone you lead. Remember, great leaders want something for people, not from people. This is Ken. This is Proximity with Ken Johnson. I'll see you next time.