FORGIVENESS: The Reset Frequency

That tight feeling in your chest when a certain name comes up is not random, it’s information. Today we talk about frequency three from The 14 Frequencies of Proximity: forgiveness, the reset frequency. When we refuse to forgive, we may feel justified, but we also stay stuck. When we forgive, we don’t pretend it didn’t hurt, we choose release so we can move forward with clarity, peace, and purpose.

We walk through the scriptures that shape how we think about forgiveness, including Psalms 103:12 and the promise that God removes sin as far as the east is from the west. We also get practical with 1 John 1:9 and 1 John 2:1, unpacking what it means that Jesus is faithful and just, and that we have an advocate who stands for us. If you’re carrying guilt, shame, resentment, or church hurt, this is a path back to spiritual freedom and emotional healing.

Then I share a personal story about flying to Michigan after my daughter was born and having a defining conversation with my dad, the kind of conversation that turns regret into relief and distance into connection. We close with a simple challenge you can do today: ask the Holy Spirit who you still need to forgive, write the name down, write what happened and how it made you feel, choose forgiveness even if your feelings lag, and pray blessing as your next step.

If this helped you, subscribe to Proximity with Ken Jocelyn, share it with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a quick review so more faith-based leaders can find the reset they need.

Transcript

Series Context And Today’s Focus

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Proximity with Ken Jocelyn. I am your host, Ken Jocelyn, and I'm super excited. We are in week three of our series on my new upcoming book, The 14 Frequencies of Proximity. So, guys, for the past three to four years, if you've listened to our podcast, heard me speak, been to create, been to one of our masterminds or part of our ecosystem, you've heard me say this term that proximity is a cheat code. And that every time in my own personal life I've gone to the next level in an area, it's always been through a relationship. God brings somebody in my life to help me go to that next level. So inside this series, we're hitting all the 14 frequencies from my new upcoming book. Of today, we're going to be on frequency number three, which is forgiveness, the reset frequency. Week number one, we talked about faith and how that's the foundation frequency. It's the foundation to everything that we do. So in our core five framework, faith, health, relationship, business, and finances, there's a reason faith, health, and relationships come first. So week number one, we did faith, the foundation frequency. Last week we did stillness, which is the strategy frequency. Every year at Create, every year at one of our masterminds, we do two of those. I tell faith-based entrepreneurs this thing. Listen, I'm going to ask you to do three things this weekend that are going to seem super counterintuitive to you as a faith-based entrepreneur. Because as entrepreneurs, we used to what? Hustle, grind, go get it. We're working long hours, all this stuff. There's seasons for those things. But what I'm going to ask you to do this weekend is three things. Number one, I'm going to ask you to be still. The team will put Psalms 46, 10 on the board. I'm going to ask you to do number two. I'm going to ask you to worship God. I just want you to listen. God, what do you have for me in this specific area of my life? And third thing I'm going to ask you to do, Abakik 2-2, says write the vision down and make it plain, is write the vision down. So those are the first two frequencies, uh, faith and then stillness. We talked about those in the first two weeks.

Why Forgiveness Feels So Hard

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Today we're going to talk about forgiveness. And I call forgiveness the reset frequency. It is, I think, as a believer and a Christ follower, can be one of the biggest things that we struggle with is forgiveness. So I want to set some, I want to set some some foundations, some precedents for you guys real quick. I'm going to share a couple scriptures with you. And I really want to talk about, I'm actually going to share scriptures, not even in my notes. So I'm going to open my Bible up to Psalms 103. I'm going to share this scripture because I really believe that part of the problem that we have as number one, entrepreneurship's hard, but as just Christ followers in general with forgiveness is we feel like we're letting people off the hook. I love Psalms 103, verse 12. And listen to this. He says that God has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west. He has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west. And verse 13, the Lord is like a children, a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. But I love Psalms 103, verse 12. The God has removed our sins as far as the East is from the West. There's other scriptures where it says never to be remembered again. Like when God forgives us, he forgives us so solely and completely that the sins that we've that we've had or things that we've done in the past, a lot of us guys, as as Christ followers, I've done this in the past myself. We've we've done something we knew was wrong. We went to God and asked for forgiveness. The moment we ask for forgiveness, and I'm going to walk you through guys, you guys, through a couple of scriptures here because I think this is foundational. When we talk about forgiveness being the reset frequency, there's some scriptures that we need to. I love Psalms 118, 11. God, I've hid your heart, your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. So a couple scriptures when it comes to forgiveness. And guys, at 25 years old, August 22nd, 1993, is when I gave my life to Christ. I got what I would say so saved and such a deep understanding of what I was forgiven of. That forgiveness really hasn't been an issue for me. It's easy for me to forgive people. And I think the more as Christ followers, we dig into the gospel and the root and the foundation of what we've been forgiven of. You go back into Matthew 18 about the parable of the unforgiven servant. Like, listen, if we don't forgive, God can't forgive us. But I'm going to walk through a couple, two or three scriptures with you now on forgiveness, because forgiveness isn't something we do for the person that hurt us. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves so we don't carry that bitterness, that offense, that unforgiveness into the next season that God is trying to take us into. Because a lot of times, if we try to carry that baggage, we will get stuck in a season that God doesn't have for us. And some of you guys, you may be listening to this podcast today and you're like, man, I've been stuck. And man, maybe this is the reason I've been stuck. And I'm going to give you an opportunity at the end of the podcast today to literally write down a few names. Who are a couple people that now that God, the Holy Spirit's bringing up to you that you need to walk in forgiveness of, that you need to verbally say, I forgive this person, fill in the blank for fill in the blank, whatever they've done to you. So a couple scriptures.

What God’s Forgiveness Really Means

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Number one, 1 John 1.9. I want you to write that down, 1 John 1.9. And I love this. If we sin, if we confess that Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I love that scripture in 1 John 1.9. When we sin, if we confess that sin, Jesus is faithful, which means he's always going to forgive us. He's just, which means he, because he never sinned 33 years, he is a just and righteous judge that he is able to forgive us. Not only is he a just and righteous judge because of what he did when he lived, but he's a just and righteous judge because of the way he died. He, as a sinless man, took on the sins of the world, which means every sin that I've ever committed, past, present, future, Jesus bore on the cross for me. Some of us, man, that's hard for us to get our to wrap our heads around. We're like, you mean when he died, he died for every sin that I will ever commit? 1,000% he did. And as we gain understanding, and part of the way that we gained understanding, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God, is understanding scripture and the word. 1 John 1:9, when we sin, if we confess, Jesus is faithful and just, those two things to forgive us so we're forgiven and cleanse us from any and all unrighteousness, which means we don't have to carry the weight or the burden or the guilt or the shame. Listen, Jesus isn't about guilt and shame whatsoever. If you feel guilt and shame because of something you've done, that's the enemy. Jesus does not do that. It says the goodness of God is what draws us to repentance in the book of Romans. The Romans, the goodness of God. He's not angry with you or me when we make mistakes. 1 John 1.9. Second one is uh 1 John 2, verse 1. We have an advocate with the Father, even Jesus Christ, the righteous. And that's how it describes him, the righteous. That word advocate in the in the Greek in 1 John 2 1 is parakletos, which is where we get the the word paraclete, which is a word that we are you our word in America would be attorney or mouthpiece. Like we have an advocate. Jesus stands before the throne of God. And when we confess our sins, Jesus is like, nope, done. I've already paid the price. Ken Johnson has already asked for forgiveness for that. I've already paid the price. It's as if he never even sinned before. So when we understand that forgiveness is the reset frequency, guys, you and I, like I'm telling you, if there is one thing specifically when it comes to our faith journey with Christ, that when we learn to forgive others and to forgive others, like as soon as someone does something to us that's wrong and you feel that, you know what I'm talking about.

Offense Blocks Purpose And Fulfillment

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Like an if if there, if somebody mentioned a specific name or a group of names to you right now, you get that pit in your stomach, like, uh, I just don't, I don't, that name just brings something up, or that individual did something to hurt you. That's a great sign, guys, that you haven't forgiven them. Guys, let me say this to you: you cannot hold offense. You can't be offended. You can't hold on to that offense and hold on to purpose at the same time. You can either hold on to one or the other, but you can't walk in purpose while you're holding offense, bitterness, and unforgiveness against another person. We can't do that. Literally, it will strip our ability to be able to walk in purpose. And you know what purpose ultimately brings us? Fulfillment. And so if you're not experiencing fulfillment and a contentment, not a contentment with I'm okay with how my life is, but a peace with wherever God has you in your journey. So unforgiveness, guys, think

The Unforgiving Servant And The Trap

SPEAKER_00 9:49

about this. Unforgiveness doesn't punish the person who hurt you, unforgiveness imprisons you. When we choose not to forgive, and it's in the parable of the unforgiving servant, when you read through that parable, it is massive because the man who owed the king, he owed him a debt he could not repay. The, the, the servant, I mean, the master forgave him, let him go because he begged for mercy and grace. Let him go, let his family go. And then that man found an individual who owed him just one week's wages, like money that's very easily, easily paid off. And because the guy hadn't paid him, he he commanded that he be sent to the jailers and his family until he could repay the debt. And what happened with the with the master when he found out that guy did that? He said, You wicked and lazy servant, like I forgave you your debt, which is a debt you couldn't repay. And here you couldn't repay somebody who owes you a week's wages. Imprison him. Literally cast him into prison. And that's the story. And Jesus says, guys, listen, if you don't forgive, I cannot forgive you either. That's why forgiveness, guys, is the reset frequency. You want to reset, you need to reset in your walk with Christ.

Unforgiveness Shows Up In Your Health

SPEAKER_00 11:08

You need to reset in your health. Listen, a lot of our health problems come because we're harboring and holding unforgiveness towards other people who have hurt us. Well, Ken, I don't want to forgive. Listen, if you're a Christ follower, we don't have a choice. We have to forgive. So, Psalms 103, verse 12, as far as the East is from the West, so far, God has removed our transgressions from us. That is the model. And I want you to understand this complete release, not suppression. We don't push that thing down because it feels a certain way. When we have those feelings in our emotions, that pit in your stomach, that kind of black ball that's there that's like, uh, that's there for a reason. That is your nervous system identifying to you that there is pain and that there is unforgiveness there. It is our responsibility as Christ followers to go, okay, God, this individual hurt me and I forgive them. And God, I don't feel like forgiving them. I don't, I don't even like I've said it and I still don't feel like forgiving them. But God, I know according to your word, your word says for me to forgive them. So, God, I forgive them. I pray that you forgive them. And God, I let them off the hook for anything that they have done. God, I pray that you bless them. I pray that you speak to them. I pray that you breathe your life onto them. I pray that you give them a greater passion and desire for you and your presence and for your word. And for a lot of us, man, that can be difficult. I love this, guys. We cannot hold on to bitterness and expect breakthrough at the same time. We can't hold on to bitterness and resentment and unforgiveness and expect God to give us breakthrough at the same time. God, it, guys, it won't work. It is, it is a spiritual principle. And guys, I've seen it. I've seen this over and over and over and over with people in my life who choose not to forgive. I believe that the way we forgive as Christ's followers is directly correlated and tied to our understanding of what we've been forgiven of. On August the 22nd, 1993, in that Baptist church, when I gave my life to Christ, there was a there was a freedom, there was a peace, there was a weight that was removed off of me. I I could physically feel it. It was gone. And so for me, I understand what God forgave me of that day, August the 22nd, 1993. I can still go back and see the see the khaki pants I had on, the yellow Tommy Hill figure shirt and the Mickey Mouse tie I had the day I walked down and gave my life to Christ and the freedom that I felt from that moment of giving my life and placing my faith in Christ and what he did, his death, burial, and resurrection as payment and sacrifice for my sins. So this frequency, the forgiveness, the forgiveness is the frequency we call that the reset. So if you need a reset in life, go through your heart and go, God, am I holding or harboring any unforgiveness towards anybody? And if I am, God, I choose to forgive

A Real Conversation With My Dad

SPEAKER_00 14:24

them. So I want to say this there was a time, my actually my daughter just turned 23 this week. Uh Caroline turned 23 this week. When Caroline was born, I flew to Michigan to go spend some time with my dad. Now, parents were divorced and I was eight, if you've heard my story, 12 different schools in 12 years. I moved back and forth to my mom's in the Atlanta area, to my dad's in the Pontiac, Michigan area, six different times from my sixth grade year all the way through my senior year of high school. Six, 12 different schools in 12 years, six different high schools. And so I not really a rough or rocky relationship with my father, but my dad really wasn't there much. And so this weekend, I'm flying up. Caroline was just born. I flew up to take my dad. We went to like a Tigers game on Friday night. We went to the Michigan-Notre Dame football game on a Saturday. And then we went to the, I'll never forget it was a D, it was a Lions Packers opening game of the NFL that weekend. So we went to three games Friday night, Saturday, Sunday. And I knew when I went up there, God said, I want you to, I want you to let your dad know that you forgive him. Talk about how much you guys are alike. And I did. I said, Dad, I said, I have number one, my pictures, like when I see a picture and I look at it from the side or I glance at real quick. I'm like, oh my God, it looks like my dad. Like I see my dad. My dad was uber talented, was an uber talented radio voice. He did the voiceover for the Lone Ranger for all the Chrysler commercials and radio commercials back in the early 70s. Super talented, super talented individual. Can play a Hammond B3 organ, like unbelievably talented and gifted. So I see a lot of things that I see in my dad. I see those things in my life. And so I'll never forget, I flew up to Michigan. We got in the car. We had about a two and a half hour ride. My dad lives in the thumb area up in Carroll, where he was born and raised, lived there for, I mean, he's 87, 88. So he's lived there the majority of his life. So I picked dad up when we were driving to Detroit. We had about a two and a half, three-hour car ride. And I just said, hey, dad, there's some something I want to talk about that I want to share with you really quick before we get this weekend started because I'm super stoked to be able to hang out. Number one, having my third daughter has really gained has gained me some perspective in being a father. So at that time, I guess Holly was probably eight. Emma or Sarah Beth was probably seven, four, and then brand new baby. And so just a lot of perspective I had on being a father. And I said, Dad, I said, I never want you to live in regret because my fear of having three kids that age, now they're a good bit older, is regret on things I didn't do or things I did. And I didn't, that was the thing. Like I was fearful is probably too strong of a word, but like, man, I don't want to ever live in regret for higher raise. And I said, Dad, I don't want you to ever regret anything about our relationship. Like, I know divorce when I was eight years old, mom moved us, there was some tumultuous times back and forth, six, six different, you know, 12 schools, six different high schools, six different moves back and forth. And dad, I want you to know that I love you, number one. And that I don't, I don't ever want you to go to bed feeling like you didn't show up in a certain way for me with me growing up. I don't ever want you to carry that. And I want today, I want all of those things in our life to be in the past. And dad, I want you to know I love you very much. And our relationship since that point, that's been 23 years ago, 22 and a half, 23 years ago. Our relationship since that point has been absolutely amazing. Because I said, Dad, I don't want you to carry this. I know as a dad now with my third daughter, I have four now total. I know as a dad, that can be something very, very, very heavy for you to carry. And I don't want you to have to carry that on your own anymore.

Quick Break And Book Update

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Listen, let's take a break. I'll be back in just a second. Okay, guys, we're back. Thank you so much. Super excited about our book, 14 Frequencies of Proximity. Give you an opportunity to be able to grab that, download a free chapter, get one for your team. It's gonna be absolutely amazing.

Write The Name And Choose Release

SPEAKER_00 18:34

So, how do we apply this? Ken, what do I do with all of this? I know that forgiveness is the reset frequency. What do I do with it? Here's a couple things. Number one, here's how we're gonna apply this. God, I just want you to ask the Holy Spirit, who's one person that I'm still carrying unforgiveness for? A former partner, a parent, a business associate, church. I literally was having a conversation with somebody today, and they're like, listen, man, my wife's got church hurt. And I'm like, listen, dude, if you've been in church longer than 10 minutes, you you got church hurt. And church, we don't understand. We think going into church is supposed to be the safest place in the world. It's not. Why? Because church, churches real, really are for broken people who are trying to get better and become the best version of themselves. So, church hurt, church leader, who's the person? And I want you to write, I want you to physically pick a pen up and I want you to write that name down. God, this person did this to me, and this is how it made me feel. God, according to your word, I have to forgive. You may not even feel like forgiving. Faith doesn't mean there's feelings behind that, but God, in faith, I choose to forgive this person. And I pray, God, not only do I forgive them, but Jesus, I pray you forgive them too. I pray you cleanse them. I pray you forgive them. And God, I want to walk in forgiveness. I want to be a man or a woman who walks in forgiveness. Now, have the conversation, write the letter. Like if it's somebody that's hurt you in the past, I would be careful in naming something because it could be something they don't even think they've done. That's not really gonna do you any good. But if it's something like in the case for my dad, where God goes, hey, I'd love for you to have this conversation, I'm like, sure. And so God kind of framed the conversation for me. And so I had the conversation with my dad.

The One Line Reset And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 20:25

So recap this whole, this whole episode in one line. Forgiveness is the reset that clears the static and gives us the ability to be able to hear the voice of God again. So would love for you guys. Grab a copy of the book. You can go to gross stackdrive.com forward slash 14, number 14, gross stackdrive.com forward slash 1414. Grab that book. Listen, if you've got a team, if you're a business owner and you've got a team, I encourage you to walk your team through this book. It'll be a game changer. Can't wait to see you guys next week on proximity with Ken Jocelyn. Have a good one. We'll see you soon.