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Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Proximity with Ken Jocelyn. Super excited to continue our series on my new upcoming book, The 14 Frequencies of Proximity. Today I want to hit frequency number six, humility. We've spent the last month, month and a half walking through the first five of our frequencies straight from my book, 14 Frequencies of Proximity. So we've already spent time talking about faith, the foundation frequency, stillness, the strategy frequency, forgiveness, which is the reset frequency,

Series Recap And Today’s Focus

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really focusing on what does it look like for us to walk and live in forgiveness. And as a Christ follower, we understand that we don't have a choice. Like it is commanded for us to forgive. And then moving on to number four and five, consistency, the momentum frequency, the main, I would say, frequency, especially in the health component, that's helped me lose right at 100 pounds of body fat over the past five and a half, six years. And then joy is the renewal frequency. And the difference we talked last week about the difference between joy and happiness, which is massive. So today, I want to hop into the frequency number six, humility, which I call the grounded frequency. And guys, a lot of us we get into rooms that our character cannot keep us in. We get into rooms, we get into relationships, but guys, the number one thing that keeps us in relationships and rooms that we need to be in is humility. Humility is what keeps us in those rooms. Proximity opens the door, but humility is what keeps it open. The people at the next level can feel entitlement. They can feel when you want something from them, and they can feel that instantly. When you

Proximity Opens Doors Humility Keeps Them

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get around someone who operates with a high level of humility, they get it. And that's why, just even in our new office and studio that we just opened up in the Alpharetta area, on one of the walls is really my life mantra. And that is great leaders want something for people, not from people. And every single one of you guys listening to the podcast today, you know what it's like to walk in a room and have a conversation with someone who wants something from you versus someone who wants something for you. And so when you get around people that really truly want something for you, I was spending some time uh last week, I was in Miami with my good friend Justin Rothlingshoffer for his event, um, Holy Health. He just launched his new book. Saturday morning, I got to go over and spend some time with Gary and Sage. And I said about three hours with Gary Brackett just having a conversation, looking back over the past five to six years of our friendship, where Gary's come, where we've come. Him and Sage have been a massive part of my health journey. They've been a massive part of the journey for GSD, our Create Conference, our mastermind, all the stuff that we do, they've been a part of now for a five to almost, well, about five to five and a half years. And so getting around somebody like Gary, you just feel he's like, brother, because my book's launching. Gary did the forward, obviously. And Gary's like, man, anything I can do to help you, I want to help you. And when you get around people who really operate at a high level of humility, they really do, they really do live out that same life mantra of great leaders want something for people, not from people. And again, when you walk into rooms that proc when proximity opens the door and you walk into rooms, if you walk into rooms wanting to take and not wanting to give, if you walk into rooms wanting to be interesting, not interested, people can feel that instantly. They literally can feel it. And they can also feel when you come in a room and you just have you have a heart of service. And heart of service comes from the heart of humility. So James 4.6, it's kind of our it's kind of our our our scripture verse that we use for this this chapter, for this chapter on frequency. James 4, 6 says, God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. So let's break down what is grace. Grace is unmerited forgiveness. When we live a life of humility. And guys, let me say this to you. I this isn't even in my show notes today, but I'm going to share this with you guys. Walking and being able to be in rooms of great significance around amazing human beings. For me, back in 2000, so we're talking 26 years ago, I was 31 years old. I was pastoring one of the, just had built one of the largest youth ministries in the country. Ron Luce, who was a dear mentor and friend, still, I texted him a couple weeks ago. It was his birthday. Ron had asked me to come to the day one event that they did at the Silver Dome in Pontiac, 70,000 plus people at that event, and gave me an opportunity to be able

Significance Versus Success Wake Up Call

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to be featured in the leadership workshop, about 8,500 to 9,000 people, right behind John Maxwell and right in front of one of my mentors, Jeannie. And I write about this a little bit in my book. And I'll never forget, you know, after I got off stage that day, Jeannie was like, Hey, do you want to go do lunch tomorrow? And I said, That'd be amazing. And so we go eat lunch and we sat down and she asked me this question. She goes, Ken, I'm going to ask you one of the most important questions of your life. And I said, shoot. And she was like, Do you want to be significant or do you want to be successful? Because they're two vastly different things. And that was the journey for me at that age, at 30, 31 years old. I mean, I'm speaking on stages with guys like John Maxwell, guys like Zig Ziglar, guys like Ron Luce. I mean, I'm hosting my own national youth leadership conference with Ron, with guys like Richard Crisco. I mean, some of the largest, largest names and biggest names in student ministry 25 years ago. And I was one of those guys. And I thought I had arrived. Literally, I thought, man, I've made it. Like this, this is what this is all about. And that conversation with her that day was an opener for me to really go, what does it look like for me to be significant and not really chasing success? Because at that age, I had to learn that what I'm doing for God isn't my identity. How large of a ministry I grow, or how large of a mortgage company I grow, or how large of a faith-based entrepreneur ecosystem, or faith, you know, faith-based entrepreneur conference. Like none of those things define who I am. My relationship with Jesus is what defines who I am. I am his son. So when you look at James 4, 6, God opposes, literally means he takes up arms and will fight against you when we're proud, but he gives grace to the humble. And a lot of a lot of times we think humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but it's actually thinking about ourselves less. And this is the grounded frequency because humility is what keeps us. It's what keeps us rooted when access, attention, and altitude try to pull you off center. And it's very easy. As you gain more and more, what we would say success, not significance, but success. What happens is we start to read and believe our own press. But here's a couple things about pride that I want to talk to you about today as we hit on humility, the grounded frequency. Number one, pride is super expensive. Pride will cost you the very relationships that God brings in your life to carry you and help you open the doors to your next level. And so, guys, I talk about this in my book about how I built, I've got a text thread right now. I've got a text thread that's about five years old, and it's got some absolute amazing friends, not only amazing humans, but some amazing friends in this text thread that I have been in. I created this five years ago. The guys in this text thread that I have right now, guys like Gary Breca,

Pride Costs Relationships Grace Restores

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the top biohacker in the world, guys like Vic Keller, who exited 11 companies to Warren Buffett for a lot, a lot of money, and then served as Mr. B, as Vic calls him, as his CEO for Berkshire Hathaway Automotive for three years. Randy Garn, New York Times bestselling author, sits on the board with Tony Robbins, best friends with Dean Graziosi, partners with Brenda Breshard. I mean, just absolute stud. Brian Covey from Nashville, the senior vice president for cross-country mortgage. I believe they're the number two mortgage company in the country. Brent Gove. Brent said, number one real estate agent in America. He has over 49,000 agents in his organization with EXP to the tune of seven figures a month in RevShare. Just absolutely killing it. And you're like, and people ask all the time, like, Ken, like we text all week. I mean, pretty much all day, every day, and all week we're texting consistently with each other. And people go, how did you, how did you build and grow, you know, these kind of relationships? And guys, it's it's about humility. It really is wanting something for them, not from them. So pride is expensive, expensive. It costs us the very relationships God desires for us to have in order to carry us to our next level. The grounded frequency, we call it the grounded frequency because humility is what keeps us rooted. Again, like I said, when access, attention, and altitude try to pull us off center. Humility will keep you where you need to be. And a lot of people look at humility, guys, like it's a weakness. But guys, let me say this: it is it is the strength. When you can stay teachable in a room full of people who could teach you when you can stay teachable, I'll never forget this story. Doug Bolski has been a part of GSD since the since day one. I mean, for five and a half, six years. Doug runs a massive, massive company really across the Midwest, but lives in in South Dakota. And we're sitting at my mastermind in Scottsdale, Arizona, in June of 2021. And I had some amazing, amazing speakers. We had a room of about 55 people. This is a 5K weekend.

Staying Teachable In Any Room

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And Sharon Lecter, co-author, Riss Ed Portad, my good friend Carlos Reyes, Jeff Finster, CEO of Everbowl, top 40, under 40 entrepreneur magazine guy. Who else do we have that? Anthony Trucks was in that room with us that weekend, Greg Reed. I mean, just some amazing, amazing, super successful entrepreneurs and some just amazing, amazing human beings. And the one thing about being in that room is, and with Doug, is sitting there, it's about the second to the last session. We've been there for two and a half days, and we've got two more speakers to go. And I'm standing in the back of the room and I'm standing with all these guys. I'm standing with Carlos and Jeff and Anthony Trucks. And I look over Doug's in the very last row of people. And I look over Doug's shoulder, and this is when we created. I literally had just created our GSD planner. They just came out that weekend. And I look over Doug's shoulder, and he literally has an entire page full of notes from the speaker that was up on stage that day. And I believe it was Sharon Lecter. And when we got done, I snapshotted a picture, took a picture over his shoulder. Didn't even know I took it and I sent it over to the video guys and I said, hey, I said, can you get this picture up on the screen in just a minute? Because we had one speaker left to go. And we put it up on screen. And oh, actually, we walked up and I just said, hey guys, I said, let me show you guys something real quick. And I I pulled it up, I put it on the screen, and it was Doug Notes. And I said, I said, guys, this, this is, I want to show you something really quick about humility and about being in a room where you're teachable regardless of who's teaching. And I said, this is Doug Bolsky. A lot of you guys know Doug. He owns, I think it was at that time, probably 30 auto body shops across the Midwest. And I asked Doug, I'll never forget it. I said, Doug, I said, what is your, I said, what's your, what's your revenue goal? I said, what's your revenue goal for, what's your revenue goal? He said, $275,000. And I said, okay, $275,000, what, Doug? And he said, he said, a day. And it was to the tune of about $90 million a year in revenue. And I put the picture up on the board and I said, guys, listen, when you walk into a room like this, no matter how successful you are, I said, these are Doug's notes. And this guy is taking notes and leaning in with a desire to learn a humble, humble spirit from people that he on paper is more successful than. And so I just want to encourage you guys when we talk about humility in the grounded frequency, that no matter what room you walk in, I learned this from Doug several years ago. He said, I don't care the level of success a person has achieved, I know there's always something that I can learn from someone else. So think about James 4.6. God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. So sitting in rooms with guys like Grant Cardone and Gary Breca and John Maxwell, the fastest way I ever got invited back was by not performing. It was literally by serving, listening, staying teachable, having a desire just to become the best version of myself. The moment I walked into a room to prove that I belong, I would give off the wrong frequency. The moment I walked in a room asking how I could add value, the door always stayed open. Every level of proximity, guys, that I have ever kept, every level of proximity that I've ever kept, I've kept because I've stayed humble enough to learn and available enough to serve. Pride would have pride will give you one visit, but humility will allow you to take a seat and build a relationship that you need in order to fulfill what God, God, has called you to do. So listen, be right back. We're gonna take a break, talk about my new and upcoming book, 14 Frequencies to Proximity, and I'll see you in just a minute. Okay, guys, we're back. So I want to ask you a couple questions as we kind of take and apply what we've learned out of James 4, 6 and the humility frequency or humility, the grounded frequency. Let's talk about this. And some questions I want to ask you to ask yourself today is this what room are you in right now? And I want you to ask yourself this question Are you showing up to take or are you showing up to serve and showing up to give? And guys, we just finished our our GSD corner couples weekend this weekend. I'm actually recording this podcast on Sunday night. It's 8 30 p.m. And we just finished three days with Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggriches,

Self Check Take Or Serve

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the authors of the Love and Respect series. Now, these guys have sold over 3 million copies. They're the foremost voice on marriage and relationships in the church today. Phenomenal, so full of wisdom. In their mid-70s, we had an amazing time. I had 19 couples in this weekend, 15 of our GSD corner members, and then five pastors and some friends that I had invited just so we could pour into their marriage. And when you walk into a room like that, guys, when you walk into a room, do you show up ready to serve or do you show up trying to take? And guys, I'm telling you, man, you can spot these guys. And the one thing about our room, and we talked about it with some of the people, this was their first live event in person with us after joining the corner, or some of my pastor friends that I invited. Uber successful. Two-time Inc. 500 winner. I exited for over 100 million. Another friend of mine exited for almost 30 million. I mean, there's just some, some, if you look at on paper, some really, really, really successful, massively successful people in the room. And the comment I kept hearing all weekend was this man, Ken, there's no ego in your room. Like there's no ego, and there's not. And if you have an ego, you walk into a room and you desire to take, and you're in a room where there is no ego, God, you just stick out. And when you walk into a room like that, when you walk into a room and you're just trying to take, or you're trying to sell, or you're trying to tell people how awesome you are, you're trying to push whatever it is that you have versus serving, when you walk into the right room, those people, those people will turn and walk away. I asked somebody this question once. I said, a guy at my church, I said, listen, when you walk into a room of people, do people gravitate towards you or away from you? Now, most of the times when people gravitate towards you, that just gives you the sense of how life-giving you are as a human being. And that really comes from this frequency, being humble, being grounded. So ask yourself, what room am I in? Do I show up to take or do I show up to give and to serve? And I want you to ask yourself, and I want you to write this down today. What's one way you can add value to someone above you, maybe a mentor, maybe somebody that you really desire or somebody that's poured into your life and they don't even know that you poured into your life? What's something you can do to add value to them without asking for anything in return? What does that look like with this text thread that I told you guys earlier that I have with Gary and Brian and uh Vic and Brent Gove and Brian Covey? Like when I put that text thread together four or five years ago, I went to each of them individually and said, listen, I'm willing to invest three things in our relationship: my time, my talent, and my treasure. And I talk about this throughout the book. And you're like, time, talent, treasure. I've heard that before. Not in this, not in this context. So, time, I'm willing to come to you. Like, I'm not asking you to come spend time with me. I'm going to go to Puerto Rico and spend time with Brent Gove. I'm going to go to his conference. I'm going to go to Nashville and spend time with Brian. I'm going to fly to Salt Lake City, which I've done probably eight

Time Talent Treasure As Real Value

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or nine times to see Randy Garn. I'm going to go to Miami to spend time with Gary and Sage. I'm going to go to Vegas. I was with them at the Fountain Blue Grand Opening to spend time with those guys. I want to invest my time, my talent. My talent, guys, is I'm a connector. God has gifted me with amazing, amazing relationships, unbelievable relationships with people. And so when I get around people and I meet them, my mind automatically goes into who do I know that this person needs to know? And I want to, I want to connect them to add value to what God's called them to do. So time, talent, number two, treasure is number three. When my friends host events, I buy the front row seat. I don't ask for a discount. I don't do any of those things. And one of the things I'll tell you, we were, I was on a Zoom call one day and I had known Gary for probably about a year. And this was before Gary, you know, before a lot of people really knew who Gary was. He had just started speaking and done his, had had was in his partnership with the Grant. He had just started speaking for Grant at some of the boot camps. He hadn't spoken at GrowthCon or any of the big, big conferences yet. And I'm on this call and I'm introducing him to two other doctor friends of mine that he needed to know. And we're talking that day. And I said, hey, dude, I said, hey, tell me what's going on. Like, what's what you got coming up? And dude, he just lit up. He's like, Gary's like, man, I'm speaking at Growth Con this year. I've got the Friday afternoon slot. I've got 90 minutes to be able to teach. He was like a kid at Christmas on Christmas morning. And I said, dude, that's awesome. He goes, Are you going to be there? I said, dude, I wouldn't miss it for the world. I said, what's the date? And I believe the date that he told me was April the 16th. And I remember writing the date down in my planner. And then immediately it hit me. As soon as I got off the Zoom call, that was the exact same date, like the week before. I had just bought front row seats to go see Eric Church in concert. Those tickets cost me right about a thousand bucks a piece. So I had a decision to make. Here I am. I'm trying to invest in the relationship and build the relationship with Gary and show up for him as best I can. But here I am, I just bought $2,000 of front row seats to go see Eric Church. So what did I do? I listed the tickets for sale. I took a about a six or seven hundred dollar loss on that. I picked the phone up. I called. I actually text my buddy Jimmy Morales, who was Grant's CFO at the time, and I said, Hey Jim, I've got a credit on my account. I believe it's 10K. I said, I need a diamond seat. They were $10,000 for GrowthCon. And so when Gary came out to get ready to speak that day, and they had this whole like platform thing where they walked up to the stage and you know the lights and all this stuff, I'm sitting on the second row. And as soon as Gary saw me, he walked over, high-fived me, hugged me, squeezed me, picked me up off the ground. He was stoked and just went up on stage and crushed it for 90 minutes. And so when I talk about this and I talk about humility being the grounded frequency, what's one way today you can add value to somebody who is above you? Third thing. What is one place that pride is quietly costing you a relationship? And how do you practice the posture of humility? Last thing on the application, I'm gonna say this and then we're gonna close. Is how are you in staying teachable? How are you in asking better questions in the in the next room that you're going to? Here's the deal. When you walk into a room, do you try to just add value? Guys, I've seen it so many times. I I again I bring the best people in the world on my podcast, in our rooms. And when you have people that come in and try to teach above or over the person who literally is the preeminent teacher on whatever subject, and I've I've seen it. I've seen people try to teach Gary on health. I've seen people try to teach John Maxwell on leadership. I've seen people try to come in

Better Questions Recap And Next Steps

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and teach over Emerson Egrich and his wife on marriage. And it's like literally this weekend, we were doing the, we did the uh corner couples retreat, and they they taught for Friday, Friday night and all day Saturday. And then we got done, and I had two hours of of content planned for me to teach, and then me and my wife, Michelle, to teach. And then we got done at lunchtime. I'm sitting there listening to them, and I'm like, guys, I'm thinking to myself, like, how can I add value to what these guys have already brought the uh brought these this crowd? So I literally changed the entire itinerary. I just sit down and I say, guys, listen, I had two sessions for you guys, about 45 minutes apiece with some QA. I've got three points I want to give you. They're gonna take 25 minutes because I can't add value on top of what these guys just added because they're the best in the world at it. So how can you be better at staying teachable? So recap today's show. Number one, humility is the frequency that keeps you grounded and keeps you in the room long after proximity opens the door. So here's what I'd love for you to do. If this is added value today, I'd love for you to go over to grossstackdrive.com forward slash one four fourteen. Growstackdrive.com forward slash 14. Listen, that's going to be in the in the show notes as well. You can click on that link. Grab a book, grab a group of books. Listen, if you're a business owner and you've got a team, you need to grab one of these books for each team member. So next week, guys, frequency number seven, authenticity. It's the frequency that makes you trusted, not just tolerated. And if you're in the Atlanta area, I want to encourage you. This week is Investfest, August the 7th, which is my 58th birthday. I'm going to be speaking at Investfest. It's the largest African-American financial conference in the world. I just talked to my buddy Michael McDonald this afternoon. They have 27,000 people. We're going to be at booth number 645. I'm speaking on Friday afternoon, I believe, at 3 p.m. I'm doing an interview with myself, my good friend Pastor Vincent from Faith Center in Atlanta. They're interviewing us on faith and entrepreneurship and how those things merge. So Sunday morning, doing a book signing for my brand new book. Love to be able to see you there. Grosstagdrive.com forward slash one four is where you can get a copy of the book. Investfest.com is where you can grab a ticket to come see me and some amazing people. My good friend Natasha Graziano is going to be there. Philip Anthony Mitchell is going to be there. Steve Harvey is going to be there. Serena Williams is going to be there. Amazing, amazing, amazing group of people. But I'd love to see you. And then listen, if the show has added value, do me a favor, share this with a friend. I'll see you next week for frequency number seven authenticity. Authenticity is what I call the connection frequency. Can't wait to see you next week. And thanks for joining us on this week's episode of Proximity with Ken Jocelyn.